Wednesday, November 29

This and That

Here is the short of anything important that happened today in the world of baseball.

Albert Pujols is a dick. Over a week after the MVP awards were given out, Pujols is speaking some unknown language about how he was snubbed over the award. He states, and I quote "I see it this way: Someone who doesn't take his team to the playoffs doesn't deserve to win the MVP." Maybe someone should point out to him that the Cardinals barely made it in and that the actual MVP's team won more games than his. His dream is also to make the Hall of Fame. What an ass... (I should note that for the past 5 years I have always like Pujols and loved watching his consistency. He always seems like a team player and a genuine guy. But talk shit on my boy and I no longer have respect for you.)

Borowski is a bum. The Phillies were informed to not sign 35 year old reliever Joe Borowski for multi-years by doctors due to a physical he took. THANK GOD! Do the Phillies really want another aging veteran who is going to break down in July? Maybe a one year deal I can take, but after this report I'm skeptical about that.

Martinez is okay. Nothing to do with the Phils but I was hoping to hear a report one day that says:
"Pedro's rehab takes odd unexpected turn. According to doctors, Martinez will only make a full recovery if he pitches out west for an American League team. One like the Mariners or Rangers. This is odd and perplexed the doctors but there is some good to it. The Phillies will be better off."
Oh well. A boy can dream...

Piazza a Phillie? According to Rosenthal, the Phillies are making a strong push for this HORRIBLE defensive catcher with some pop. Do we need him? In my opinion absolutely not. What the hell is going on with all these reports. Two weeks ago Gillick is looking for a young catcher. All this week the Phillies deny reports that they have interest in Piazza. Now today we are frontrunners for him. Piazza is a SLOW runner with some juice left in his bat who has no defensive capability left in him. Coste and Ruiz are both better choices. How can we tell if Ruiz is the future for us if he is splitting time with 2 players over the age of 34? Plus, it is way too much fun to make fun of Piazza and call him a homo.

Contracts are insane. Dayn Perry talks about the worst contracts thus far and mentions the Phillies' signing of Eaton as fourth worst and the Mets' signing of Alou as the only good contract given out this offseason. I agree that the Mets's signing is a decent one considering the years and how much money the Mets have to throw around. But Eaton can't be the 4th worst. Can it? And I agree that Lee, Pierre and Matthews are horrible but isn't Soriano's just ridiculous? Sure he is a great player but 8 years, FNTC, for a 31 year old DOMINCAN (meaning he is probably 58) is a bit much and, to me, more absurd than 3 years for a 29 year old with 4 plus pitches. Then again, like with everything on this site, I am biased.

Gagne is back. Eric Gagne is trying to prove he is healthy again and is going to return in 2007. My guess is the Phillies won't (and should not) sign him. Since Boras is his agent, I doubt he will come cheap to any team. I'm guessing those steriods really messed up his body...

Glavine will be on a team by December 4th. Tom Glavine said he will sign with a team by the winter meetings, either the Braves or the Mets. Who do I want him to sign with? Well, we seem to be able to hit him on the Mets, but if my memory serves me, he gave us trouble while on the Braves. However, he was older while a Met and that could do greatly with why this is. I would hope for the Braves. If he leaves New York then that gives the Mutts one more hole to fill. And since they are our biggest competition in the division, I would rather them suffer.

Wolf will miss Philly. We'll miss you too. Unless Eaton rocks...

Also, I noticed I didn't add any pictures with any of these here is one everyone can enjoy:

You want protection for Howard? Just send Burrell out there without a shirt on. Who is gonna mess with that? Not I.

Monday, November 27

The Garden of Eaton

Well...we have 5 men. For the first time since 2005 (Lidle, Myers, Lieber, Padilla and Wolf) we know what our opening day rotation is going to look like heading into the season. No more talks of Castro getting a nod, no more talks of Batista farting up the locker room. Adam Eaton is our man and he will win 20 games and probably be awarded with the Cy Young. Isn't that how most of the Phillies free agency signings end? Jokes aside, Eaton has some risk (injury, high homerun rate, rising ERA, never pitched 200 innings) but like they teach us in business 101...high risk better be accompanied with a high reward. And with Eaton, the Phillies have this. Twenty-nine is young, his injury last year isn't expected to hinder his '07 season, the contract is 3 years (compare that to the rest of the market), and his contract is around 8 million per year (also compare that to the rest of the market). For what the current free agency situation is, Pat Gillick made a decent choice to add a decent 5th man for our decent rotation. Basically look at it this way...Floyd has been replaced by Moyer and Madson replaced by Eaton. Also, much like the Wes Helms signing...we MUST NOT forget the underlying theme of signing Adam Eaton: HE IS NOT GAVIN FLOYD!!!

So let us jump for joy...

and do the happy dance...

because Mr. Sucky poo-poo pants...

will not be in our rotation...
but oh no...

I forgot who our manager is...

Never the less, I'll take Eaton with a grain of salt and be happy that we aren't going into spring training with a starting job 'up for grabs.' He may fail and disapoint but if we don't put to many expectations on his head...we can't be that letdown.

Also, thanks to my buddies Jumping Pat, Dancing Drew and Homoqueer Me for the pics. And once again, I am awesome at editing pictures...I bet you really thought Floyd pooped his pants.

Hold your applause until the end of this post

I have thought, for awhile now, that baseball players are basically greedy savages who only go where the biggest payday is. Soriano apparently wanted to stay an eastsider, but Chicago isn't on the coast. Damon never wanted to be on the 'evil empire,' but now he is swinging a red lightsaber. And according to some writers in this city, Wagner wanted to remain a Phillie. Well...New York proved them all wrong. And while free agency remains one of my favorite parts of the year, I still get sick a couple of times during the offseason when I see the money these selfish bastards pull-in. I remember hearing Sammy Sosa say last year that the $500,000 offer he recieved from the Nats is a "slap in the face." Go tell 85% of America that half a million dollars is disrespectful and they will laugh/beat your ass. There seems to be no loyalty any more...Drew opting out of a 30 million dollar contract just because he can get more makes me want to vomit. It is bad for the game...also...WHY DOES ANYONE NEED MORE THAN 10 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR?! After a million, I feel like anything more is just overdoing it.
Then again I am a broke college kid so what do I know?

But now here comes the story of our beloved Randy Wolf who apparently is going to sign a 1 year contract with the Dodgers. He wants to return home to pitch for his childhood team and who can really blame him? The park is more pitcher-friendly, the weather is nicer, his home is still in southern California. And does this make me angry or upset? Yes and a very big No...I am upset because Wolf was a cool dude and watching the Wolfpack every 5th day was a treat. They put Sals Pals to shame...then again I am biased because I am apparently the only fan who did not like Fasano and his incredible lack of baseball talent. I am also a little pissed because the Phillies had Wolf for 8 years. We clearly wanted him back and offered him the money and years to make it possible. He is going to say 'no' to that and sign for only 1 year!! This coming during a period when pitching is thinner than Calista Flockhart. I am not, however, going to bitch too much because deep down I didn't want him back that badly. He gives up to many homeruns, has control issues and throws the shittiest curve ball known to mankind. The alternatives are weak and not abundant, however, as long as Gillick doesn't throw the Madson/Floyd combo back at us...I will be ok. Randy had his heart set on returning home and no amount of money was going to alter that decision. This is rare...and I applaud Wolfie.

Another man who deserves mentioning is Kevin Roberts. While his picture reminds me more of the dad from "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" than a sports writer, he wrote a brilliant article in the Courier Post. Unlike Mr. douchebag negativity who lives in the past, Bill Conlin, Roberts talks about the positives of Burrell. I hear so many people claim Burrell couldn't protect Howard...well...for about half the year, thanks to Manuel, Howard batted either 5th or 6th which happens to be BEHIND Burrell. The other half of the year, according to this article, Burrell batted .423 when Howard was walked and slugged .769. But people don't want to talk about that. They would rather bitch that Pat strikes out to much (which he does) or doesn't hit in the clutch (which is a ridiculous stat to measure anyway). When Burrell hit a grand slam of Clemens in the first inning in September and the Phillies won by a final score of 4-3...was that not clutch because it was hit in the first inning and not the ninth? Did his runs not win that game for us? So for being brave, honest and smart...I applaud Kevin Roberts.

There is also rumblings of Trot Nixon and the Phillies. While we do not currently need another outfielder, Trot could be a nice fit in Right Field if Rowand is traded for pitching help . His defense is good and he plays hard...which is one of the only things some fans care about here. I cannot see him commanding that much. However, when Gary Matthews Jr gets 50 million, Juan Pierre gets 45 million, Baez gets 19 million for 3 years and Padilla could possibly get 10/year...there is no telling what some teams are willing to throw their money at. Trot is a cool dude...and I guess I applaud him too. For what? I guess this picture I found.

I also applaud Turkey for filling my tummy on Thursday.

Tuesday, November 21

People showing love...and hate

All around Philadelphia, since nothing else is positively happening in sports, the buzz is about Howard. And rightfully so. He had one of the best years we have ever seen here in Philly and won countless awards while keeping a very humble manner about him. He has class and power. Two things we love. Buildings are beaming blue and red lights, gigantic signs are being displayed, national attention is being displayed about the Phillies. The Cira Centre has the coolest display...An all red light display with a blue 'P'. Looks awesome coming down 76. And while we won't truly be happy until a championship is won...we can live with this for now.

But what is up with everyone not showing any love for the actual MVP candidates? Justin Morneau, a very talented 25 year old, helped carry the twins offensively this year. Sure Mauer was nothing short of spectacular, but the name of the game is score runs...and Morneau helped them immensely in that category. Since when is .321/34/130 a laughable choice, Keith Law. Especially for a team that was unstoppable when Justin went on his hitting spree. Oh...wait...I know why it is laughable...Because the 200 million dollar Yankees also made the playoffs...And obviously that 200 million dollars doesn't go to getting premier players to make up a vomit-inducing lineup. Nope...Derek Jeter was the only decent player on that team...right? Arod, Damon, Cano, Giambi, Rivera, Wang, Mussina, Posado...all nobodies who, without Jeter, would have maybe had 45-50 wins. Right? Give me a break. Jeter had a unbelievable year and is a stellar athlete...but the ONLY reason people are calling for the sportswriters' heads is because his name is "Jeter"...he plays for the "Yankees"...and he has never won it before. Take those 3 factors away and you won't hear shit. And I am not saying Jeter wasn't deserving...but give Morneau his credit...he deserves that award.

Also, I must quickly defend people talking shit on our boy. The number one argument I hear is "the Cardinals made the playoffs." And while I cannot argue with the obvious...people who make that statement forget to point out that THE PHILLIES WON MORE GAMES THAN THE MEASILY 83-CARDINALS. Not sure if that means anything but I think it should. Also people point out that Pujols had higher slugging, OBP, OPS and wasn't by an enormous amount. Howard's higher HR, RBIS and walks were of greater distance. Then again...I am being a ridiculously biased phan right now. And I don't even know why I am complaing...Howard won...what the hell am I talking about this for?
...Godamn this city needs to win a championship soon...

Also referring to Carlos stance with him is very similar to Soriano's...for the right price I would DEFINITELY take him...but with the market the way it is and how spending-happy every GM seems to be, I VERY much doubt there will be a right price for him.

Note to the wise: Focus on pitching

Also also...what the hell happened to Kramer?

Also also also, if you like good music (and who doesn't) I highly suggest you get the new Brand New cd "The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me." Have you never heard of them? Take my word..they rock

Monday, November 20

What Else...

Ryan Howard won the MVP. Not telling you anything new. If you didn't know this and reading my little blog was the first you heard of it, then you need to get with reality. So I am not going to boringly write about it extensively and copy&paste stats and history that you all read on But I do want to mention the other finalists in the top 10...then display the various expressions and personalities of Rhyno. Chase Utley tied for seventh with an enemy of mine...Jose Reyes. And while I really can't complain, I don't understand how Soriano got more votes. Sure, he had a career year and hit a buttload of bombs. But the Nationals were not ONCE ever really in contention. They were a joke team who loved to kick the Phillies around. I am also happy to see that Berkman beat out Beltran for the top 3. Berkman is definitely more valuable to the offense-less Astros than Beltran is to the powerhouse Mets. Also...I checked the Cardinals website to see what they were saying about this. And Matthew Leach, the retard who writes for St Louis, has the nerve to write "Nonetheless, it's a tough one to take for the Cardinals." TOUGH ONE TO TAKE?!?!?!?! The Cardinals sneaked into the playoffs and took home the WS trophy with a crappy 83 wins...and Pujols not winning his second consecutive MVP award is tough to take? Give me a break. Leach and any St Louis fan who feels cheated that Pujols didn't win the MVP gets my vote for the asswipe of the year award.

Now to Photo-show of Rhyno...

The Homerun Trot

"You got my money bitch?"

"Who is this cracker?"

"You can be like me kids!" (Even though you can't)

Ryan: Top that Pat
Pat: I can't
Ryan: I know...I was just messing with you

"Thank you Ramon. Bobby was right"

"Look at me mom"

"Have fun watching Soriano get overpaid for 8 years"

First walk-off

(I couldn't think of anything more clever than a boogie joke)

Happy Howard

"We own this team"


"Hellooooo ladies"

"So a priest, a rabbi and Gavin Floyd walk into a bar..."

Ortiz makes fun of Howard.
Howard snarls.
Ortiz then loses in the Derby.
Howard nails 50% of Pittsburg's women.

Well Deserved...

Plan B? after we all find out that Mcnabb's, hence the Eagle's, season ended in November, I get the message that Soriano signed a sick sick sick sick contract worth 136 million for 8 years! And under a week after talking myself into wanting Soriano, I have to revert back to my "Soriano Sucks" attitude. My first thought when hearing that the cubs got him was "Shit....SHIT....SHITSHITSHIT!!!!!!" Then I thought "Who the hell are the Cubs? 8 YEARS!!!! For a 31 year old!" I was shocked and I feel like this is horrible for baseball. If players are getting insane contracts worth 136 million dollars, how are half the teams in baseball possibly going to be able to contend? But I am not writing here to talk about my hopes of putting a salary cap on baseball, I am hear to talk about the Phillies future.

Was Soriano the answer? Was he the only possible way the Phillies were going to be able to get over the playoff hump? Let me make this as clear and profound as possible: NO. There is not one player in baseball who, if added, instantly makes a team a contender. Sure, there are players who instantly make a team dangerous and with the right men around him can allow them to contend. But no one, no matter how good they are, can carry an entire team (although Howard came close). Now, while saying all of this and reiterating that Soriano wasn't the only way to get us to the playoffs, he would have helped a shitload. Fast, powerful, right-handed...all things the Phils would have loved. He would have been a nice batter to place behind Rhyno and could have hit close to 50 here in Philly. But let us not think of what could have been...let us focus on the future.

What do we do with all this money we have? We traded Abreu to free up salary, right? How do we spend it wisely? Well, I don't personally have all the answers. For one, I am not a GM...nor do I think I am smart enough to be one. Secondly, I am not a genuis....although I am pretty damn close. I just hope Gillick is, because I am pretty sure he is already a GM. I also hope Gillick doesn't follow in Wade's footsteps and sign big money for the bullpen. I know it is a MAJOR concern for the team, but look at the past and you will notice it rarely works out. I also hope Gillick definitely does not trade away Burrell. I never wanted that in the first place, but now look at the situation. There isn't really any other big name outfielders, besides maybe Lee or (gasp) Drew, out there to sign. And can you honestly be happy with an outfield of Victorino, Rowand and Conine? I know I can't. Combined they probably won't even hit Burrell's (apparently awful) total of 29 homers. Maybe we can now make those rumors reality and trade Rowand for Crede. Crede can protect Howard, right? Oh...wait...Helms will be playing 3rd base. So where do we go? How do we get a big bat to protect our big boy? Free agency is doubtful and Phillies have little bargaining chips to trade away anyhow.

But now the true question...Is a batter to hit behind Howard our biggest offseason need? One could argue that it is, however, it is not a definite "YES." Pitching has been and will continue to be our biggest concern. Because the lineup, as of this moment, could possibly look something like this: Rollins, Victorino, Utley, Howard, Burrell, Rowand, Helms, Coste. Isn't that horrendous? Isn't it the worst lineup EVER put on the field? Doesn't it make you not want to exist anymore? Absolutely is still a formidable lineup that could easily win you ballgames. We all got so caught up in this Soriano Hype that we overlooked our biggest needs. I came to think that we couldn't do anything without his bat. Now, I realize we still can win. It is just going to take some smart moves by our man. I just pray we don't sit on the money and throw a 65 million dollar team on the field in 2007. In Gillick we trust?...I hope so.

"I look like death"

Sunday, November 19

Just to post

I am lazy and tired. Just wanted to remind people how badass chutley is. Also, listening to Wheels talk at the end sucks and brings back horrible memories of his voice.

Thursday, November 16

Only in a video game

Just for fun...let me post some records and statistics from MVP Baseball 2k5. My roomate just finished a full season with the Phillies and went on to win the World Series in six games versus the Yankees. I must say, watching it was quite satisfying. Some of these numbers are just ridiculous.

Team Record: 143-19
Playoff Record: 11-4 (lost intentionally twice in the WS to finish it at CBP)

SP - Randy Wolf
SP - Cole Hamels
SP - Brett Myers
SP - Curt Schilling (acquired via trade involving Lieber and Abreu)
SP - Dontrelle Willis (acquired via trade involving Padilla and Polanco)

C - Paul Lo Duca (acquired via trade involving Padilla and Polanco)
1B - Ryan Howard
2B - Chase Utley
3B - David Bell
SS - Jimmy Rollins
LF - Ken Griffey Jr. (acquired via trade involving Burrell and Cormier)
CF - Aaron Rowand
RF - Trot Nixon (acquired via trade involving Lieber and Abreu)

Homerun Leaders:
Aaron Rowand - 91
David Bell - 64
Chase Utley - 50 (missed all of April due to injury)
Ryan Howard - 42

RBI Leaders:
Aaron Rowand - 147
David Bell - 110

Batting Avg Leaders:
Chase Utley - .322
Aaron Rowand - .311

ERA Leaders:
Cole Hamels - .75
Randy Wolf - .81
Brett Myers - 1.21

Cy Young - Randy Wolf
MVP - Randy Wolf
Rookie of the Year - Cole Hamels
Rolaids Relief Man of the Year - Tom Gordon (52 saves/1.45 era)

Note: Aaron Rowand mysteriously retired after the season due to 'personal reasons.' I guess he couldn't deal with the pressure of hitting over 90 homeruns again. Lieberthal was traded to the Giants for Ray Durham. Burrell ended up hitting .22o for the Reds with 16 homeruns. Cole Hamels pitched a complete game shutout in the decisive game 6 of the World Series going 3 for 4 at the plate with an RBI striking out Gary Sheffield to end the season. Bobby Abreu won the American League MVP. Ray Durham hit .214 with one rbi on the season and asked for a 4 year deal worth 22 million dollars in the offseaon. Billy Wagner was used as a setup man for closer Braden Looper on the Mets. Dontrelle Willis was fatter than Jon Lieber in the game. Charlie Manuel was intentionally thrown out of around 60% of the games. Alfonso Soriano was traded to the Phillies in the offseason for David Bell, Gavin Floyd and a minor league prospect.

So what does this tell us? We should all stop following the hot stove reports and not bother watching the Phillies in 2007. Instead, buy a playstation with a baseball game and let your fantasies come alive. Because I must say, I don't think Rowand and Bell will ever combine 155 homeruns in real life. But watching it in a video game...friggin sweet.

Wednesday, November 15

How the Wes was won

Besides Helms, the only other Wes I have ever known was Wes Borland...the bad ass guitarist from supergroup Limp Bizkit. And while Fred Durst was a homo, Borland was always cool as hell (as made obvious by the picture to the right). And while Wes Helms won't ever be as cool or badass as Borland, he still has the potential to make me a happy fan. As of now, 12:11 am Thursday morning, the Phillies are close to a deal for two years worth 5.5 million dollars with an option for a third. Considering what players are making this year (Derosa), I am not complaining about the cash. His avg and OBP has pretty much increased every year of his career and had nice numbers with RISP in 06. I don't see his .429 batting average at the Bank as anything to look to deeply into. 14 at bats is no sample size, however, being a right handed hitter he will easily benefit from batting in Philadelphia. He doesn't have the best glove in the league and the last time he played close to a full year at 3b his fielding pct was .945. If we can get the sort of production out of him for over 130 games like the Brewers did in 2003 with a line of .261/23/67, I'll be satisfied. Plus....we all must not forget the underlying theme of signing Wes Helms: HE IS NOT ABRAHAM NUNEZ!!!

So let us jump for joy...

And do the happy dance...

Because mr .211...

will not be our everday third baseman
but oh no...

I forgot who our manager is...

Never the less, Helms for the price we got him at is a decent pick-up. I am not going to sit here and call Gillick a genuis for signing him, however, there were worse options out there. And like I stated above, this should keep Nunez out of the batter's box for most of the year. editing job for the mr .211 picture is superb.

Tuesday, November 14

Jekyll and Hyde

The GMs are bowling, the Flyers are sinking, Lost is over until February and the Sixers can't play defense...but I do have some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico. (how lame was that joke?!) But honestly, after the GMs are done showcasing their new flower pattern shirts, Gillick can start, hopefully, making us a little more confident about the 2007 season. He recently stated that trades are our best possibility for landing another starter. This is obvious since the pitching market is so freakin thin that its not impossible to think that Vincente Padilla is going to get that 10 million he is seeking. Which, by the way, blows my mind. Rowand is Gillick's best bait and hopefully there are a lot of teams willing to bite. I liked Aaron when he was here but there really is not the strongest need for him in center anymore. Victorino proved in half a year that he has tremendous upside with his speed, arm, age and overall game. We've been hearing the Sox have wanted Rowand back for awhile now. Let us wait and see how much. Now onto the title...

To perfectly describe my feelings on the Soriano banter that won't stop, I had to call on my old buddy and deceased author for over 100 years Robert Louis Stevenson. He told me about a book he once wrote, The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, which is about a doctor who develops an erratic split personality. Dr Jekyll was a mild mannered man but his other side, Mr hyde, was a crazed murderer. Basically they were competely different in every way. My thoughts on Soriano are very similar to Stevenson's story.

The conversation with me:

Red- the pro-soriano me
Blue- the anti-alfonso me

"I want Soriano to be the meat in an Utley/Howard manwiche. I know that those 3 would combine for sickening numbers and would be possibly the best 3-4-5 in the league.
Wrong. I want nothing do with a 7 year deal involving a 31 year old with a FNTC (even though Gillick won't hand one of those out). I don't want to be in this same position with trying to trade him after he underachieves for 5 years then hogs up over 15% of the Phillies salary in 2012.
2012 is so far away and we are trying to compete and win now...right? Why not get the best bat on the market and make the 2007 Phillies an offensive slaughterhouse.
Because his numbers won't be anywhere nearly as good as 2006. He set career numbers in every part of his game and is 31!
So what? 31 isn't nearly as old as someone like Frank Thomas and look at the year he had. Is it not impossible to say Soriano could have a better year considering he would be hitting in a little league CBP and not RFK?
No, it's not impossible but it is very unlikely. Last year was his contract year and he was most likely playing for the salary he is going to recieve this offseason. And his numbers were not the clutchest in baseball. He his .231 with RISP and .197 with RISP/2 outs. He also struck out over 160 times which would make the 2007 Phillies strike out kings. Remember all those times the phils just needed to put the ball in play to move that runner or get that sacrifice run in? Won't happen with all those k's.
Yea but who cares if you strike out 160 times if you are hitting over 40 homeruns and stealing over 40 bases. Also, his defense was shockingly impressive last year with 22 assists. Why wouldn't you want that kind of player?
Once again because of his money. The price for free agents will be very high this year due to the lack of quality and Boras is going to take full advantage of that.
Ok, yes, however think of the numbers Howard will be able to put up this year with Soriano's bat behind him. Howard is in his prime now and it would be a shame to waste these years and watch him sit back and recieve the Bonds-Treatment(not HGH).
Howard hit 58 homers with zero protection. So in 2007 are we going to over pay for another slugger to protect Soriano? Also, switch Utley and Howard's spot in the lineup...and there you have it...Howard's condom all along was right in front of him.
Clever condom remark.
Thank You.
So if not to Soriano, then who? Lee...will command just as much. Drew...HAHAHA. Zito and Schmidt don't want to come here and the best 3rd basemen is already off the market.
Yea, I know but...
But what? Would you rather them thow all their money into the bullpen and watch "Cormier and Worrell pt 2" unfold?
No, but I don't think they....
Should what? Go for it all now? Let me don't want to overspend?
Exactly and I'm....
Dumb. Look, it is the 21st Century and this is how baseball is. Sure you can win by building a farm system or watch a bunch of average players overachieve. But lets face it, the Phils have no minor league players (thank you Wade) and VERY RARELY overachieve. So why not go for the gold in 07. We are practically there. Why waste Howard and Utley's prime years by ONLY buidling? If we win it all next year, won't 2012 seem like less of a problem?
Yea but Soriano doesn't give them the best chance....
Shut up, yes he does. He brings speed to a flat footed team and something new that will attract fans. Think of this...Burrell in LF, Victorino in Center, Soriano is RF. Cheap upgrade at 3rd and trade Rowand for a 5th pitcher. Use our remaining money to strengthen our bullpen. Contender?
So what's the problem?
You what?
Don't like you.
You're a homo.
(sits a cries in the corner because I was just myself?)

So what the hell just happened? Three things:
-I just went crazy.
-I have carpal-tunnel
-I think I just convinced myself that I want Soriano

.....but I'm still not sure. DUN DUN DUNNN

PS: If nothing else...this picture should make up for the 5 minutes I possibly just wasted of your life

Sunday, November 12


Baseball ended...a while ago. Well, for us it did. For the 83-win Cardinals, they still have reason for grins on their faces. I mean, 4 teams won more games in a regular season than the Cards did up until the very end of October. But I'm over being bitter about that. It is now time for the much anticipated award week. ROY, Cy Young, Manager of the Year and Ryan Howard...sorry I meant MVP. While the Phils have only a realistic shot at one of them (and I will strip naked and run on the field of every Phillies game at CBP next year if Charlie Manuel wins Manager of the Year), I thought it would be fun to post the Phillies winners of 2006 in each of these categories.

Rookie of the Year: Cole Hamels

His numbers were not the most eye-popping (thanks to the dumb months that Cole and I no longer consider part of the year known as June and July) but the King stepped up big in August and September and gave us all hope to be a fan in the future. After making every team that faced him his bitch in the minors, Gillick called the savior to pimp the Majors. With a 4.08 ERA to go along with 145 ks in only 132 IP, Hamels proved he can handle the pressure of the show...unlike my mortal enemy and satan-worshipper Gavin Floyd. He ended the year as one of our best pitchers and defied physics and everything Isaac Newton stood for with his sickening changeup. And even though he gave me the scariest 15 days of my life with his non-funny practical joke DL stint, he gets my vote for the Phillies ROY 2k6.

Runners up: Jamie Moyer, Jeff Conine and Adam Bernero


Cy Young: Brett Myers

I sort of had to give it to him. He pitched the most innings out of all the Phillies, had the most Ks, most wins and had the lowest ERA of all starters. For the most part he always gave us a shot at winning and could be downright filthy at times. Of course, he pissed us all off when he went to Boston and turned into Bobby Brown. I was shocked with his ability to remain an effective pitcher on his return. I was equally as amazed with little amount of boos he recieved on July 26 vs Atlanta. Brett ended with an ERA under 4 and had a RIDICULOUS 12 wins! And even though everyone was calling for his head during that infamous weekend in Boston, no one can deny the fact that since Dubee came in, Myers has turned his promise into reality. Is he a true number 1? Not the best one in the game, however, he is the best thing we got and we should be happy we have him.

Runners up: Julio Santana, Gavin '7.29' Floyd, Adam Bernero (again)


Manager (in this case coach) of the Year: Ramon Henderson

I couldn't choose Manuel. Fancy Dancy would send Burrell home from first on a single. Bombard...nope. Milt Thompson is a nice dude but couldn't keep Pat the Bat going on the right path. Varsho always seemed like he wanted to kill someone. At least Henderson contributed to giving Phillies fans joy with his meatballs in the Homerun Derby. Last year, when abreu dominated the competition thus ending his ability to hit any dingers the rest of the year, I did not realize just HOW much Henderson was the cause for his bombs. He helped Howard take the competition he was raised to win. At that point in the year, the Phillies seemed like a downward spiraled team with nothing to play for. I was a depressed fan and was only looking forward to seeing if Utley could continue his streak. And while I only half-expected Howard to take it, I didn't realize how much fun I would have watching it. Henderson made me happy on 2 seperate nights in my life, and thats more than I can ask for from a bullpen coach.

Runners up: Aaron Rowand


MVP: I don't even have to say it

Howard, who will officially own Philadelphia one day, never understood the meaning of sophomore slump. In fact, Rhyno doesn't really understand the word slump. If he was ever in a homerun drought, he was still knocking in rbis and keeping his average up. In fact, Howard's avg never dipped below .278...with his worst month being July where he hit .267 but still kept a .411 OBP and hit 8 homers. Yes...Howard was more of a treat than getting a big candy bar on halloween. Howard broke so many records this year and won so many awards, it would be redundant for me to spit them all out. Click here if you want to know the jist Will Howard hit 58 again? If he has the proper protection, then of course. Will he knock in over 150? Quote me: Yes. Will he become the best Phillie ever? Let us not get ahead of ourselves, but he is definitely in the perfect position to do so.

Runners up (serious): Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins


Other Awards...
Rolaids Relief Man of the Year: Geary
Gold Glove: Jimmy Rollins
Comeback Player the Year: Thome for 2 reasons...He actually won it and we are still paying for him to play
Awesome Play of the Year: Rowand saving Floyd's ass in May
Dumbass Play of the Year: Rowand almost killing Utley in August

Badass Picture of the year:

Achievement(s) of the Year: 38 and 35 game hit streaks
Heartbreaking game of the year: Losing to the Yankees after Ryan Howard knocked in 7 runs.
Quote of the Year: "For Who? My Teammates. For What? To Win."


As for the actual predictions go as follows
NL ROY: Zimmerman
AL ROY: Verlander

NL Cy Young: Webb
AL Cy Young: Santana

NL Manager of the Year: Girardi
AL Manager of the Year: Leyland (HE SHOULD BE OURS!!!!)

NL MVP: Howard
AL MVP: Jeter

One last award...Best Caveman ever: