Tuesday, December 5

Deal or no Deal

I have been lied to and made a fool of. I was told for my entire life, through various media outlets, that college is all about 3 things: Beer, Girls and Parties. For my first 3 years of college (with the exception of the 6 months I spent partying with bloodstripes in Australia), I realize this was just a fabrication, but I held out hope that maybe it was senior year when all the boobies come out to play. Well...I was wrong to assume this and stupid to believe that movies like Van Wilder and Animal House were displaying reality. So to your comment Corey and Carson (whichever joker called me a college pussy today), yes...finals have ruined the past week of my life and have thus restricted me from talking about the one thing I love in this world: baseball. So before I talk about the Phillies, I would like to blame the movies for tricking me my entire life. Because while I have met girls as dumb as tara reid, not many were as hot.


Well, besides Padilla getting overpaid and Pujols backing off his words about our boy, the focus is on Gillick and his trading potential. Today, the talk was on Turnbow, Mench and Garcia. First thing, I was shocked to see that Mench isn't even 30 years old. Maybe it is just because he is fat and looks like Shrek that I assumed he was 60. Also, the fact that he finished the year with only 13 dingers is ridiculous considering he almost broke the consecutive homerun streak in April. He didn't even hit any homers after July 30. But I doubt we will land him anyways so there is no reason to talk about his stats unless he is wearing Phillies red. But there is someone who needs mentioning...Patrick Brian Burrell. You know him, right? The worst outfielder that ever played in Philadelphia. The most overpaid athelete in sports history. The player who has never hit a homerun after the 7th inning and doesn't leave the park unless the Phillies are winning by 6 runs. The player who cost the Phillies the playoffs in 2006. The player who had the worst '06 season out of every athlete in the MLB.

Oh...what's that you say? You mean this all isn't true? Is this all just bullshit talk made by grumpy radio hosts (Eskin..king of douche) who have no idea what they are talking about and pissed off sports writers (Conlin) who are depressed because Burrell doesn't want to do an interview with them? Interesting...

And now another criticizer (not sure if that is a word) who wants to jump in on this debate is Mr Green. And while I have always considered myself a huge Pat Burrell defender (send your hate mail to bornmannm1@lasalle.edu or just leave a comment below), I have no problem with Dallas' statements. Except one... he suggested Burrell stop pulling in hot, college ass to improve his baseball game. This is just absurd. Burrell not getting laid is like Wonder Woman without her magic lasso. They just go together. Green, however, was right on target when saying that it all rests on Burrell. "Guys like him are tough to come by. This kid, if he gets his priorities and focus straight, can recoup. It's his decision. He has to look in the mirror and recognize where his career is headed. It's either headed north or south. This is a crossroad for him." I believe, and I am being very optimistic here, that Burrell is very capable of being the 2005 hitter that carried us for most of that season. How can he get back to that? It's on him...but I know NOT getting laid won't help him.
I am also a little depressed that the only comparison I could come up with for Pat was wonder woman. How gay...

And now to a little Pat on Pat action. Mr Gillick just recently stated that they would be willing to trade Burrell ONLY if they get an equal return. This basically made my entire week of exam hell a little better. I am open to a trade for my favorite left-fielder ONLY if it is not a salary dump as previously speculated. To trade Burrell just to get rid of his contract makes no sense and won't improve our club at all. We aren't in desperate need of the money. If, however, we get a return that will help us in the short-term...I would be willing to say goodbye to my boy. And by help I don't mean class A crap players and a 7th inning relief pitcher. How about Burrell for Joe Mauer and/or Johan Santana? That is possible right?



Also, nice move to bring some soul into the broadcast booth.

Power to the people...



And I am sad to say that I never actually partied with bloodstripes. But I would have if I could.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice post, you know I wanna like Burrell, and Green having faith in him helps me on the road to liking pat "the bat" (he gets capitalized when he stops sticking his ass out when he strikes out). Anyway, I like.

But wait...

Gary Matthews was beloved in Philadelphia and was the 1983 NLCS MVP, and you post a picture of him on the BRAVES?!?!?!

I agree that Eskin is the King of Douche, but you sir, your sir, are the Duke of Fag.

BloodStripes said...

Animal house is a top movie.

Burrell for Santana would go down real nice.

Matthews in the booth I am looking forward to.

One day Skeeter we will have a party. At the ballpark watchin' the Phils.

GM-Carson said...

bloodstripes- when you come to america we're getting fuckin' blitzed at a phils game with the boys from "driven to deep center" and of course us at wsbgm's!

by the way, it was me carson who called you a college pussy...ha

Skeeter said...

muller... i posted the first picture i found on google of matthews. im lazy shut up. and duke of fag?...is that bad?...im assuming yes

bloodstripes and carson...sounds like an incredible plan. just bring me back some VBs bloodstripes.

furiousBall said...

Sarge is good stuff man, this is a good thing. I'm in the same boat as muller, I really want to like Pat. That swing and all those K's is preventing me from doing so. Eskin's dislike of him, makes me like him. And also the fact that Pat gets more ass than a toilet seat makes me wish I could get booed at Citizen's Bank Park and make assloads of money too. Pat doesn't have it bad at all.

Skeeter said...

very true. I would easily take 3 hours of booing a day by a stadium full of drunken idiots if it meant I could travel to old city and have my choice of ladies. I think that is why he never looks super pissed when he strikes out because in the back of his head he is always thinking "at least [insert female's name here] will do me after the game."

BloodStripes said...

Furiousball - you crack me up everyday with your comments mate. Hilarious.

Burrell's ass pulling heroics seem huge. If he is legendary now, what are the stories gonna be like in 20 years? The man is a chick magnet. He must have one helluva schlong!

I wonder if I can bring a case of VB on the plane as luggage?

BloodStripes said...

Howz' ut garn Skeeter? Orright mate?

Hehehe, just trying to perfect the Aussie accent in writing mate. Think i done well there.

Just scored meself a copy of the Hilltop Hoods album 'Hard Road' mate. Bloody awesome Skeeter. Their best one yet. Awesome I tell ya!

BloodStripes said...

Is it me or is the conversation on here and at WSBGM's merging into one and the same subject. Pat Burrells pulling power, VB and big league chew! I don't know where to post which comment. Ha!

Skeeter said...

bloodstripes...u r freakin awesome. Im gonna download the new hilltop tonight and i havent been able to find VB since ive been back...its a rought life i live

BloodStripes said...

Very rough life mate, very rough. Go for the download mate, well worth it. While your at it. Download some VB songs at http://www.fosters.com.au/enjoy/beer/victoria_bitter

Haha!

BloodStripes said...

Taken from the original theme song:

"A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer. And the best cold beer is Vic, Vic Bitter. It can come at anytime, dishin' up chow or showin' 'em how.

Matter of fact I got it now. Vic Bitter."

Love it!

BloodStripes said...

What program are you using to download albums Skeeter? I've been using Limewire, not bad, but is there better? Wadda yer reckon?

Skeeter said...

Nah I dont think so. limewire is my choice as well. Works nice.

is it bad to say that i like XXXX as well. Aren't there XXXX guys and VB guys? Both were great in my opinion.

cant go wrong with beer.

Im pumped to listen to the new hilltop

BloodStripes said...

Nah mate, you can like whatever beer ya want. XXXX is a Queensland beer. Queenslanders swear by it. For a bit of fun people in other states knock it. Like Yeungling is a Philly beer and Iron City is a Pittsburgh beer every state has its own brew that is popular.

NSW = Reschs, pronounced "resh-us'
QLD = XXXX
SA = Coopers
WA = Swan Lager? geez I cant even remember now, but you get my drift.

VB is universally accepted in the brown land but most popular in Victoria and NSW.

Glad you like the new hilltop.

Cheers big ears!

:]

BloodStripes said...

Oh yeah, Tooheys is a big beer in New South Wales as well.

Mate if you can't get all the songs of the Hilltop Hoods album let me know and I can send 'em to ya if ya want.

BloodStripes said...

Skeeter is that a photo of you above Manuel in the "The Garden of Eaton" post? If so, good to see you standing in front of a couple of schooners at the pub. Nice work.

There are VB blokes and there are XXXX blokes. They try to convince you that their favourite beer is the best but put 'em in a room with only one drop(that drop being their non-preferred)and they'll bloody drink it. No worries about that.

Skeeter said...

I got the new hilltop last night...love it so far.

And that picture of me was actually taken in australia at a bar in townsville. I believe those schooners were VBs. Good times...gotta get back soon.

BloodStripes said...

Bloody oath mate. C'mon back!