Monday, February 5

Marketing the Phillies

Well the Super Bowl is over and done with. With the exception of the Pro Bowl, Football is gone into the past and we can focus on the one thing that makes me smile: Baseball, namely the team hailing from Philadelphia. But the Super Bowl commercials got me thinking. Besides the fact that most of them were wretched this year (the two dudes kissing commercial I think gave me aids), I came to realize that the Phillies Marketing staff is blessed with what the 2007 team presents. Since I am a genius marketing major (not at all), let's look at what this group presents to this city in terms of marketability.

Chase Utley
- Everything Philadelphia wants, needs, loves and strives to be. Plays his heart out every single game. Never complains about the media or fans. Isn't a media whore and said the magical words "I want to retire in Philadelphia." This is a wet dream for someone looking to make Philadelphia like this team. I have said many times before in my life, "The day I hear Philadelphia fans boo Chase Utley is the day I truly hang my head as a Philadelphia sports fan." There is truly nothing to dislike about Utley. You could put him on the front of every program and ticket for the next 7+ and no one would complain. Also, chicks love him.

Cole Hamels
- The new kid in town. Our pitching hope for the future. With all the offensive sluts we have, we were all starved for some legitimate pitching in this town. Cole is still young, slightly inexperienced and hasn't had the opportunity to prove his hype. But given what we all know (fingers crossed) is going to come from this 23 year old stud, the Phillies have another gold mine on their hands. Confident, LEFTY, married to a hottie... Hamels is another jackpot. Also, chicks love him.

Jimmy Rollins
- Remember Scooby Doo? Of course you do. It was a classic. Now, remember scrappy doo, Scooby's annoying little nephew who never shut up and thought he was the toughest dog on the block, even though he was only 2-feet tall. Well, with the exception of being annoying, this fits J-Roll to a T. He is a short little ballplayer, who is always quoted in the paper and thinks he is the baddest brother out there. "I can definitely break DiMaggio's streak." "We are the team to beat." And I love every minute of it. We need someone with confidence and a slightly cocky attitude to bring life to this team. Jimmy does all the marketing for himself. The job from the Phillies standpoint is to just put a microphone in front of him after games. Also, chicks love him... he is such a smooth dresser

Ryan Howard
- Do I really have to waste my time with a paragraph for this one? His numbers and performance do everything the Phillies need. Howard just signed with the Creative Artists Agency and that will pretty much take care of the marketing aspect altogether. Read here for their client list and then think about the amount of exposure this kid is going to get. He will be everywhere in about a year. The Phillies don't even have to lift a finger. Also, once again...chicks love him.




And the parts of our team who aren't so prone to being good marketing tools:

Charlie Manuel
- No one likes a dumb hillbilly who has the speaking skills of a 2nd grader. He could never do a commercial because he would stumble over his words on every take. Trust me, chicks don't love him

Antonio Alfonseca
- Cross gloves and those fitted 'toe socks' off the list of potential advertisers looking at Antonio


Abraham Nunez
- No bat, broken english, and his name is Abe...what marketing good could come from him?

And finally, the one man I think presents the best marketing chances for the Phillies organization ...the player who we so often praise here at Driven To Deep Center: Patrick Brian Burrell


How can you not promote that? Also, I should note that this is second time I posted this picture on this site. I am so ashamed of myself.

4 comments:

GM-Carson said...

You used the line "chicks love him"...c'mon admit it, chicks = you in these cases...H-MO!

Great quip about the Snickers commercial giving you AIDS...made me laugh out loud.

Charlie Manuel is a R-Tard!!!

Skeeter said...

I tried to mask my true feelings by using the 'manly' word chicks. Damn you Carson! You teachers are all so smart

furiousBall said...

Pat Burrell...gets more ass than a toilet seat.

GM-Carson said...

Pat Burrell gets more rump than a butcher.