Driven to Deep Center

RIP DTDC

2007-11-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

This post is actually six months overdue. It will most likely be the last one made on Driven to Deep Center. I suck basically and stopped updating daily back in May after I graduated from college. Before, when I was in school and in a steady routine, it was very easy to make regular updates and write my feelings on the Phillies. And the six or so months I kept up with this blog, it was a blast. Some of the regular readers were what made this page fun to load up every morning. But unfortunately I fell out of love with writing for it. I think I'd rather read other people's feelings on the Phightins.

So if you come across this page for whatever reason, please direct yourself to We Should Be GM's . They were basically the inspiration for this page to get started. But don't click there if your a tight asshole with no sense of humor. They aren't allowed.

And always check out Beerleaguer, Balls Stick N Stuff, I've Made a Huge Tiny Mistake and The Good Phight.

Anways...Go Phillies, Die Mets. Hopefully one day I'll be back to post on a daily basis. Hopefully some will care.

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and one last time for old time's sake:

The Only Countdown That Has Ever Mattered...Ever...

2007-10-02T22:47:00.000-04:00

11 MORE WINS TO GO!!!

I'm not worthy...

2007-09-30T23:51:00.000-04:00

I thought of close to a thousand things I could say about this team, this season, and this city. I could write homages to dozens of players and recall hundreds of moments that led us to the division title. I could even take a few cheap shots at the Mets (since I can't stand them). But when it comes right down to it, I'm not worthy to talk about this magical team. They deserve a Disney movie made about them. And while they still haven't even played a playoff game, for someone like me who was just 8 years old the only time I saw them in the playoffs, this is the best baseball-related moment of my 22 year old life. So once again, I am not worthy to speak of this moment...

.....and since I allowed this blog to turn into a wasteful abyss, I shouldn't be allowed to comment anymore about this amazing season.....but I'm sure I will.

A Confession....

2007-08-30T22:45:00.000-04:00

I spent most of Thursday watching replays of Werth stealing 2 bags, Iguchi singling him home and Utley's walk-off single. I honestly watched the 9th inning close to 100 times.
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....and it was one of the best days of my summer.

Espn....

2007-08-13T00:29:00.000-04:00

This shouldn't even be considered a post. I just need to get one thing off my chest: Fuck ESPN and their Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts. WOW! NO ONE CARES ABOUT BONDS ANYMORE!!! STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!

And Joe Morgan is an absolute fool. When Burrell walked in the first inning and wasn't really being held on at first, his exact quote: "Burrell can run."

He makes Sarge sound like Socrates.
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Hopefully I'll start doing this more
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Oh...and go Phillies, die Mets

The Old Folks Home: Philadelphia and Retired Numbers

2007-07-16T01:26:00.000-04:00

With a drought of recent championships spanning 24 years, it's no wonder the City of Brotherly Love is disjoined to its own history. That being the case, one cannot be volcanically angry that certain numbers are not retired in the city's "Big Four" of the Phillies, Flyers, Eagles and Sixers, but the fact that a few names are not raised into the rafters does a diservice to the legends that have meant so much to the blue-collar fans of Philly. Some have brought championships, others just took hold of the hearts of the fans, but either way, here are three numbers that simply MUST be retired.

What's missing from this picture? Here's a hint:

Yup, the heart and soul of the 1980 World Champion Philadelphia Phillies, Tug McGraw.

Ok, sure, he coined his trademark phrase, "Ya gotta believe!" with the hated New York Mets, but the guy is a Phillie through and through. He loved this city, and even became good friends with a local bartender who may or may not have fathered a very sexy young man who may or may not be writing this blog. (Ok, I'm biased)

Regardless, the above picture is one of, if not the most iconic photo in the history of Philadelphia sports. The joyous, emphatic jokester leaping into the air after striking out Willie Wilson with the great maroon "45" emblazoned on his chest is seared into the memory of Phillies fans.

Currently, Tom Gordon holds that number, but A.)He hasn't really done much with it, and B.)He may not be around much longer anyway. Tug represented everything decent, honest and fun about this city and should be remembered at Citizen's Bank Park for as long as it stands. Should Tugger have his numbered painted on that brick wall? Well, ya gotta believe.

The Sixers do a good job of retiring numbers, and the Eagles have a severe lack of recent heroes and did good by the fans by retiring Reggie White's number 92 in December of 2005. The Flyers, however, have been woefully remiss in their acknowledgment of their own rich history. Currently, the Flyers have retired the numbers of Bernie Parent (1), Barry Ashbee (4), Bill Barber (7), and Bobby Clarke (16). In addition, no one has worn 31 since Pelle Lindbergh's tragic death in 1985 out of rememberence and respect, but it is not officially retired. So, taking into account the unspoken gesture for Pelle, there are three Flyers legends who's numbers should be hoisted into the rafters in South Philly.

I don't know if a double-retirement has ever taken palce before in professional sports, but here is a case-in-point example of a great place to start. Reggie Leach was the "L" in the "LCB Line" of himself, Bill Barber, and Bobby Clarke. He scored 45 goals in his first season with the Flyers (their second straight Cup-Winning season) and won the Conn Smythe Trophy in 1976 netting 24 points in 16 playoff games even though the Flyers lost the Cup to the Montreal Canadiens. Flyers fans from the era will always remember "27", "7" and "16" racing down the ice for the old Broadstreet Bullies.

Ron Hextall was an icon between the pipes for the Orange and Black. Just like Leach, he won the Conn Smythe Trophy for the Flyers in a year that they did not win the Stanley Cup (they were ousted in seven games by the Oilers in the '87 Finals). He was also the first goaltender to score a goal (he did it again in '89 to become the first to do so in the playoffs). Putting aside his goal-scoring prowess, he was also the toughest netminder to ever put on a pair of skates and frequently leveled opponents who got too close to the crease. This guy WAS Philadelphia.

Only five players in the history of the NHL have ever won the Conn Smythe Trophy as a member of the losing team in the Stanley Cup Finals. Reggie Leach and Ron Hextall are two of them, and two of only three (Jean-Sibastian Gigure the other in 2003) since 1970. I'd love to see the day where "Leach/Hextall" sat above a giant black "27" in the rafters of the Wachovia Center.

(edit: The Washington Nationals have "10" retired for both Andre Dawson and Rusty Staub for their stint with the Expos, and the Yankees have put the kibosh on new players wearing "8" for both Yogi Berra and Bill Dickey.)

The final retiree in the Mike Muller Under-appreciated Athlete Hall of Fame is one whom many of my friends disagree with me on, but I'll stick to my guns nonetheless. He is, after all, my favorite hockey player of all time. Loyal readers, I give you the Man, the Myth, the Legend:

Look at this fuckin' guy!!!!!!!! King of Suave. Sultan of Stickchecks. Prince of the Penalty Box. Duke of the Deke. Baron of Broadstreet. Sion of the Spectrum!!!!!!!

Ok, sure we're used to seeing him like this now,

but everyone knows he was framed by Janet Gretzky, Dane Cook, and the Illuminati.

First of all, if anyone doubts how much Tocchet kicks ass, just take a look at this. Also, just search him on YouTube to find some great fight clips of him (my personal favorite being one between him and my other Hockey Hero, Cam Neely). In addition to his fitness at fisticuffs, he was also a preminate goal-scorer and power forward. Along with Pat Verbeek, he is one of only two players in NHL history to record over 400 goals and 2,000 penalty minutes. He did also wear "92" with the Flyers at the end of his career, but that was for a combination of luck (he wore 92 with the '92 Cup-winning Penguins) and a respect for the current "22" on the team in 2000, Luke Richardson. Rick Tocchet will always be Number 22 to the Flyers Faithful.

A workhorse and a leader, Tocchet needs to be remembered by the City that both loved him and spurned him (although it worked out pretty well for him, winning a Cup in Pittsburgh). I, myself, can't imagine anyone else wearing "22" like Rickey the Rocket did, and I would put him up in the rafters if, for nothing else, he was the first star to get a 6-year-old boy to live and die with the Orange and Black.

Apologies to: Randall Cunningham, Mark Howe, Tim Kerr, Eric Desjardins, Koy Detmer and Dikembe Mutombo.

And yes, I wrote this to avoid talking about this Phillies' 10,000th loss.

Utley, Cole, and Rowand: All-Star Game Running Diary

2007-07-11T17:56:00.001-04:00

So Driven to Deep Center is back with a vegenence here at the halfway point of the season. The Fightin' Phils are 4 1/2 back and some of their finest are playing in the Mid-Summer Classic. So I decided to do a running diary, Bill Simmons style. Also, yours truely will be featured on the new Phillies Podcast starting tomorrow at http://www.philscast.com/. So, without further ado, let's see how the All-Star Game went.

8:21- Old-timer’s game of MVP Baseball 2005 ran late so I’m just getting to the All-Star Game. Game ended when Jackie Robinson scored from second on a ball hit by Eddie Matthews…Ty Cobb was pissed.

8:25-Shakey camera work by the awful employees of Fox during the starters intro makes my buddy, John say, “I’m getting nauseous and McCarver hasn’t even spoken yet.” God bless Fox Sports.

8:26-Introducing the 2008 shortstop for the Boston Red Sox, Number 3, Alex Rodriguez!!! (followed by Tigers 2nd Baseman Placido Polanco, which makes me sad)

8:27: Bonds gets introduced to cheers (strange to watch) followed by Griffey, which makes me think of my steroids theory. Everyone seems to agree that Griffey would have been the Home-Run King had he never gotten hurt, and Bonds has gotten there with a pharmaceutical leg-up, and isn’t even grateful. He’s gotten away with murder and he’s still a dick to people. So I believe in my heart of hearts that Griffey (unabashed LOVER of the game who is the consummate good-guy) should get three to five years of taking steroids for free, just to see what happens.

8:30-THIS IS OUUUUUUUURRRRR COUNTRAAAAAY!!!!

8:33-Creepy a capella “Star-Spangled Banner” with two dudes giving each other bedroom-eyes through the whole song…Ty Cobb is pissed.

8:34-F-18 flyover accompanied by U2 music. When did U2 become the go-to background music for movies and television? No wonder Bono is spending most of his time in Africa, just out of sheer embarrassment.

8:36-Video tribute to Willy Mays in San Francisco. Ted Williams said the All-Star game was made for guys like Mays. Ty Cobb calls Teddy Ballgame a race traitor.

8:37-Mays comes out on the field being led by the hand by Bonds. The closest analogy I can make to this is if George W. Bush came out for the State of the Union on an ATV wearing the Constitution as a diaper and dragging FDR on his wheelchair by a rope.

8:42- Commercial for “Back to You” starring Kelsey Grammar playing a news anchor named “Crasier Fane.” Bask in the originality Fox, bask.

8:45-Pizza just got here, blog might suffer.

8:52- My buddy John says National League is a “stone-cold lock” to win the game.

8:53-Ichiro leads off the game with a single for the American League. I laugh at John.

8:57-Double-play for the NL. Watching Jose Reyes toss it to Chase Utley leaves a bad taste in my mouth…time for more pizza.

8:59-David Ortiz’s necklace looks like lost Aztec Gold.

9:00-Chase Utley inaugurates the Chase Utley Face, as Prince Fielder drops one of the easiest tosses ever. I have a feeling he makes the same one when Burrell strikes out because he’s taking a phone call from Heather Mitts…AJ Feely is pissed.

9:05-Joe Buck tells me how to feel for the first time tonight, saying “Bonds SHOULD be here.”

9:07-Bonds pops out.

Ok, here’s something that pisses me off. Joe Buck is fine with Barry Bonds as a human being but Randy Moss is worse than Hitler? So, let me get this straight, defraud the game, cheat, and usurp its most hallowed record, and you’re a misunderstood hero. Faux-moon Packers fans and you’re in OJ territory? People like Joe Buck are the reason people get so upset over shit like Don Imus.

9:12-It’s STILL fun to watch Ken Griffey Jr. play baseball.

9:13-Griffey plays for the Reds. Pizza sauce is red. Griffey wants me to have another slice.

9:16-DHL commercial joking about Kenny Lofton getting traded to the Red Sox makes me shit my pants.

9:25-Tim McCarver basically calls Russell Martin’s dad a street hobo.

9:26-Great catch by future Red Sox shortstop Alex Rodriguez.

9:27-Utley flies out but looks sexy doing it.

9:30-Tim McCarver is unbelievably happy with himself for adding 326 and 1 to make 327. This actually IS a major accomplishment for him.

9:36-Ichiro is 2-2 against Jake Peavy and Ben Sheets. Remember when Pat Gillick could run a team?

9:41-Very few things get to me like Dane Cook narrating over Joe Carter taking Mitch Williams deep. Thanks for the memories Fox. And Dane, that’s enough. I mean, forever. That’s enough.

9:43-Jose Reyes actually HITS a knuckleball. I don’t mean Josh Beckett threw one, I mean Jose Reyes’ bat knocked a ball that THEN knuckled and got past A-Rod. God do I hate the Mets.

9:44-Interview with Jim Leyland who is going through nicotine withdrawal. If you could still smoke in the dugout he would beat Carl Yastrzemski’s All-Star game record of 44 Marlboro Reds.

9:50-THIS IS OOUUUUURRRRR COUNTRAAAAAAY!!!!

9:51-A-Rod gets a base hit off Hamels, then steals 2nd following a video montage dedicated to him set to “Don’t Stop Believing” that abruptly fades to black. David Chase sues.

9:54- Text message convo with my buddy Dan involving weekend plans:
Me: You still going to Boston this weekend?
Dan: Actually, I’m not now.
Me: Aw, gay.
Dan: No, gay is that I’m not going so I can butt fuck some dude.
I feel like you need to know these things.

9:56-Griffey catches a bounce from Magglio then GUNS A-Rod down at the plate to end the inning. I can’t say enough about this guy!

10:08-Tim McCarver: “That Padres Cubs game…it was like Battle of Thermopylae II in Chicago that day.”
What does that even mean???? Were 300 Cubs standing on the base line keeping 1 million Padres from getting to first? Is Derek Lee actually King Leonidas? Was Trevor Hoffman asking Alfonso Soriano to kneel? This is madness...THIS IS WRIGLEY!!!!!!

10:12-Ichiro knocks an inside-the-park home run off the brick wall in right. He’s 3-3 with 2 RBIs and almost a lock for the All-Star Game MVP. Again, remember when Pat Gillick wasn’t in a coma?

10:13-Eric Byrnes pushes his dog off a boat and into McCovey Cove. Tim McCarver is nonplussed.

10:15-This whole thing with Eric Byrnes and his dog is just weird. He even got told off by Joe Buck. Apparently the dog peed in McCovey Cove and mooned Tony LaRussa.

10:29-Carl Crawford hits one out to right field, prompting McCarver to say “Cordero gets it up, and so does Crawford.” He’s in rare form tonight. 3-1 AL.

10:34-Carlos Beltran looks like he’s wearing lipstick…doesn’t stop him from hitting a triple. Fucking Mets.

10:35-Griffey hits a sac-fly. 3-2. He has both RBIs for the National League. God do I love him.

10:39- John and I discuss how the Phillies should trade for Griffey and the possibility that “someone” could then just murder Pat Burrell to get out of his contract. This is the reality of being a Phillies fan. Goosebumps, my ass.

10:42-Realize that I need to leave soon to go see Harry Potter. My life is so rewarding.

10:49-Aaron Rowand, my favorite Phillie, is finally in the game. Rowand deserves to be there more than almost anyone on that field and no one is talking about him. Kevin Youkilis should be there too.

10:50-Paula Cole is there to sing during the Seventh Inning Stretch, and she looks GOD-AWFUL, not that she was ever a looker, but damn. This is fitting though, cuz “I don’t wanna wait, for the All-Star game to be over” and I need to go see my incredibly cool, non-dorky movie that will no doubt get my laid. So to you Phillies Nation, I say goodnight as I head out to Hogwarts.

Looks like she fell into Dawson's Creek and was ravaged by a bear looking for salmon.

3:00am-Just got back, saw Rowand popped out to end the game with Pujols staying on the bench. I guess LaRussa was thinking…I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking. So home-field goes to the Red Sox in the 2007 World Series. Just a brilliant job all around by LaRussa and Tim McCarver. Definitely a night for the ages.

Sopranos vs Philadelphia

2007-06-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

The Sopranos just ended and so did my faith in television. Read on if you were a fan of this show and watched last night's finale.

What's worse: Watching a television show for eight years only to see it end in the most horribly shitfilled episode ever...or...watching your 95 million dollar baseball team get completely manhandled by one of (if not the) worst team in baseball?

Or maybe I should add in the fact that Jose Mesa is a Phillie. What's worse: Trusting Sopranos' creator David Chase to close out a once brilliant show...or...trusting Joe Table in any inning?

What about Freddy Garcia? What's worse: The whiny little bitch character that AJ became...or...Freddy Garcia's pitching and his injured shoulder?

And how about Charlie Manuel. What's worse than him? Is there anything? As bad as the Sopranos finale was, it doesn't come close to the wretchedness that is Uncle Charlie.

You know that feeling you got in your stomach when the episode just cut off and left you with a "what the fuck, I hate life" feeling? Is that worse than being a Phillies fan?

I know why we all love the Phillies. We grew up with them. If you liked the finale of Sopranos, then I envy your optimism.

Pictures say a thousand words

2007-06-07T23:24:00.000-04:00

It has been waaay too long since I've last posted...but I feel it is, yet again, an appropriate time to post these pictures:

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two of these players are homos. Can you guess which one is reeking of heterosexuality? Here are some hints:

And here are two more pictures to perfectly describe this amazing sweep...and the pussiness of Lo Duca

Here he is doing a little homo-erotic hop:

And now bending over...probably waiting for Wagner to come by from the rear:

Screw the Mets

Helloooooooo

2007-05-24T00:02:00.001-04:00

I'm alive and no, I don't have a new girlfriend, bloodstripes. I'm a player boy, you know that (not really). I'm adjusting/interviewing/moving/lazy/figuring-out-summer-plans ...and in the midst of all that, have left DTDC unattended and for that I apologize to anyone who semi-enjoys reading the shit I spew. I don't even know where to start for this post and it won't be very long. Within the next week, I will begin to post on a more regular schedule and such. But enough about my boring life....

WAS LAST NIGHT NOT THE MOST UN-FULFILLING WIN OF ALL TIME!?!?!?!

I was in the midst of watching the season finale of Lost and switched back and forth during commercials. So since I can't totally give an honest recap of the win (if it can be called that), I'll just copy down some of the text messages I received during the game from my friends who were watching it.

"Rod Barajas is a fucking piece of shit"
"Brett Myers' wife is very happy he hurt his beating arm"
"Chris Coste anyone?"
"This season is over."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Manuel should be kicked in the balls"
"Come over and screw me you big bastard" (that was from one of my honeys)

All of those were real...well...maybe one of them I made up.

What can I even say? If Myers is out for the year or an extended period of time, I would have to say this season is through. If not, MANUEL IS STILL RUNNING THIS TEAM INTO THE GROUND. Make no mistake about it, his overuse of Myers (and possibly Hamels?) is something that needs to be taken into account everyday by Pat Gillick. Unfortunately, I do not believe that it is. Then again, it is Gillick's fault Manuel has no arms in the bullpen. It is a vicious circle that leaves me crying.
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So once again, I am sorry for such a delayed absence. I wish I was working on my left handed pitching (Carson) and I wish I was negotiating with pirates (Mike) and I wish I was celebrating (Jacobin)...but sadly I was just busy with "life." What a dumb thing it is anyways.

And here is something to make up for me being lazy

The Phillies beat 24

2007-05-15T00:02:00.000-04:00

...Not in ratings or anything monitored by the Nielson Media Research. Rather the Phillies beat 24 in my heart, which I think is more important. With the Phillies trailing the best team in the National League 6-2, I thought it would be safe to watch 24 and witness Jack Bauer kick some ass. Since I'm a loyal phan, I kept the game on in the bottom right hand corner using the crafty PIP feature. But halfway through the 8th inning, there was no reason for me to keep watching 24. The Phillies, in one inning, gave me and a crowd of over 29,000 fans more excitement than 24 has all season. It was the best win of the season and is the kind of game where winning streaks are born. If you missed, I feel bad for you. Interesting sidenote though, both teams combined for 24 hits...ironic, don't ya think.

And upon watching Brett Myers record the final out of the game for his fourth save in as many chances, I have this to say: If Tom Gordon returns from the DL and is still considered the closer of this team, I will lead a brigade into Charlie Manuel's office and take him out. I know Corey and Carson will be with me and I can probably guarantee that mcd and jacobin will be there. If Bloodstripes can make it from Australia, he is welcome as well. Let's get a small army going if a horrid choice like this is made.

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On another note, Spring Training started almost exactly three months ago. What would you say if I told you then, that these things were going to happen in three months:

The Phillies were able to win 5 straight games but still be without a sweep
Jimmy Rollins leads team in homeruns and hit all 9 in April
Brett Myers is pitching in the bullpen
Pat Burrell started the season hot but still hit only one homer in April
Jon Lieber has an ERA below 3 as a starter
Freddy Garcia (the innings eater) has the least amount of innings pitched as a starter
Even though we knew Eaton wasn't going to be a stud, that he was going to be this bad
Ryan Howard is hitting .204 and is on the DL
Wes Helms has apparently lost the start starting job at 3B to Abraham Nunez
Abraham Nunez is batting around .300
Aaron Rowand has hit multiple times in the leadoff spot and is hitting around .350
Chris Wheeler and Sarge would be in all nine innings and would sound THIS bad

Admit it, you'd call me crazy. I don't blame you, I'd probably slap me too.

Graduation

2007-05-13T21:32:00.000-04:00

Four years of collegiate education and I am finally done with this nonsense known as school. Sure, it was fun at times, but never having to study for a test ever again or type up a paper gets me happier than Carmen Electra can. I graduated from LaSalle University yesterday and now have to enter something called the real world. Who cares right? This is a Phillies site. But I figured I should tie in the theme of graduation as it pertains to this baseball team. So what Phillies have finally graduated into stud players?

Cole Hamels

I don't even need to give reasoning. A once highly regarded prospect who has blossomed into an ace every team would want. Second in the league in wins. Second in strikeouts. First in pimping. Cole Hamels is one player who truly deserves his own webpage.

Shane Victorino

Finally got a chance to start regularly when Gillick gave Abreu away for nothing. He did enough to earn a spotting start in 2007 and thus far has done more than enough to keep it. One of the best arms in baseball. Amazing speed/defense. Third in the league in stolen bases and will probably become the leadoff man in the next couple years, if not months. It is safe to say that Shane should be around for quite some time.

Carlos Ruiz

Philadelphia has been starving for a catcher to make us smile. Ruiz comes with defense and pop. He has above average speed for a backstop and has come up with some big hits. He leads NL rookies in hitting and is in the top 3 or 4 in many rookie categories. Manuel, for some reason unbeknown by me, continues to trot him out batting 8th behind suckers like Nunez, Werth and Helms. Chooch has, however, won the starting job over "super veteran" suckass Barajas. Thank God.

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And since I was busy with school activities over the weekend, here is my lightning quick weekend wrap-up:

Burrell is awesome.
When did Dobbs learn to hit?
Lilly may have dominated us, but his last name is still lilly...which is a flower

....homo

Time for some much needed optimism

2007-05-10T00:08:00.000-04:00

After Randy Johnson struck out the first six Phillies he faced, I rested my head down on my pillow and started to dose off. After a day of work, I was far too exhausted to sit through another offensive-less game by our "powerhouse" baseball club. And by luck, fate or the grace of God, I woke up just as Burrell was getting walked in the 7th inning. The score was 3-0 and the Diamondbacks were heading to their bullpen. Still a little sleepy and out of it, I hear that Ryan Howard is coming in to pinch hit...

Yesterday, the horrible pessimist in me asked the question "Why are we Phillies fans?" Well the answer became clear again last night in the form of Harry Kalas with the help of Howard.

Bases loaded with nobody out. LONG DRIVE TO DEEP RIGHT FIELD. GRAND SLAM HOMERUN, RYAN HOWARD!!

Now I'm not going to declare that all is good in the hood of Phillies baseball, but how many times do we get to be optimistic? So lets look back at this previous series and pick out the good:

Starting pitching:

Garcia went six strong giving up 2 runs. He could have went more but was pulled for a pinch hitter
Eaton went seven innings and gave up 3 runs. It was his second best start of the season and brought his ERA waaay down to 7.43!!
Moyer did his thing. 7+ innings giving up 3 or less runs. What more can we ask?

Brett Myers

He only got in one game but recorded 6 outs for his 3rd save in as many tries. Do we finally have a reliable closer?

Uhhh...

Wow, I think that's it.

The Phillies have experienced their share of April showers and could be in line for another June Swoon, so what do the Phillies have to do to ensure that this won't be a Gay May?

13 of the next 19 games will be played in the friendly (sometimes) confines of Citizens Bank Park. And no matter how much we verbally kill Gordon and Madson, they are very big parts of our bullpen. If the Phillies can hover around .500 until they get back and help to stabilize the relief corps, we should still be okay. And here are where the big IFs come into play.

IF Ryan Madson comes back healthy and continues to pitch the way he had before he went on the DL, we have a decent 7th inning guy to compliment Geary
IF Tom Gordon can come back and not completely suck, we may have a set-up man
IF the rest was good for Ryan Howard and he learns how to make contact again, we may have our slugger back
IF Eaton shows that he isn't as bad as 8.18 and can hover around 5.00, we may have a chance to win when he pitches
IF Garcia was treating April like a Spring Training and can get us into the 7th inning on a regular basis, we won't cry every time Gio Gonzalez is mentioned
IF Pat Burrell stops playing this practical joke on Philadelphia and gets his power stroke back, we may finally get some more homeruns on this team
And the biggest IF of all: IF Manuel gets kidnapped by pirates and taken away to some mysterious island off the coast of Africa, we may win a few more games...if only

So for the month of May, I won't be losing sleep over a record that is .500 or even sub-.500. It is asking a lot of any fan (especially Phillies phans) to remain optimistic and patient in the face of hardship, but if we are still somewhere in it when we get this team healthy again...we still got a shot.

A very random assortment of Phillies thoughts

2007-05-09T00:03:00.000-04:00

Two interesting tidbits (all prior to last nights game)

Of the 14 games the Phillies have won this season, the offense had to score 6 or more runs 11 times to win. They scored 5 runs once and 4 runs twice. So basically, on average, the Phillies need to score over 5 runs to win a game.
The Phillies are averaging .9 homeruns a game. They have hit only 29 in 32 games. Imagine this number if you take away Rollins nine inexplainable homers in April.

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Yours truly is a staunch believer that a lineup greatly affects the outcome of a game. Maybe someone smarter than me can explain Manuel's lineup.

Rowand
Victorino
Rollins
Utley
Burrell
Dobbs
Nunez
Ruiz

The top five I'm decently satisfied with. I'd much rather see Victorino leadoff than Rowand. But why is Dobbs (a .188 hitter) batting 6th and Nunez (a .125 hitter vs righties) batting 7th...both ahead of Ruiz (a .293 hitter)? Maybe I'm just nitpicking every move Manuel makes, but I honestly can't recall a manager in recent history to make me shake my head this much.

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I google-image searched Abraham Nunez and for some reason this picture of Angelina Jolie popped up:

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Chase Utley is such a man and loves women so much, that after he noticed the jacuzzi at Chase Field was full of bikini-clad women, he hit a homerun to them. These girls then all fought each other to the death to see who was truly worthy to hold Utley's balls.

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I really don't like Baxter the Bobcat, the Diamondbacks mascot. He just seems evil. I bet the Phanatic would kick the shit out of him.

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Have you ever seen Conan O'brien's If They Mated? It's where they take two celebrities and guess what there children would look like. An example of Derek Jeter and Anna Kournikova:

Well, my super computer has this technology and I mixed our past GMs. So what if Ed Wade and Pat Gillick mated:

I was going to post a picture of an ugly monkey or a donkey, but I felt that with how much these two have tortured us the past decade, they must have some connection with the devil himself.
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14-19 Someone tell me again why we are Phillies fans?

Pat Gillick vs the NL

2007-05-08T00:38:00.000-04:00

Well, I apparently hit a hot button yesterday with the Sopranos, so I'm going to stick to something more agreeable today. The subject of Tuesday will focus on the ineptitude of Pat Gillick. Not as a just a GM, but as National League GM.

Gillick's three previous stops as a General Manager have been Toronto, Baltimore and Seattle. Yea, we all know he "built winners" there and has gotten every team into the playoffs, blah blah blah. The one thing that I think plays heavily into these equations, however, is the League Gillick was in: American. I'm not saying that it is easier to put together a team in the AL, just that Gillick can't do it in the NL.

There is one major difference between the NL and AL, and that is obviously the Designated Hitter. Having a DH affects two major areas. The first being the bench, since pinch hitting isn't as crucial and double switches are not as relevant. The second is the bullpen, since there is no spot for the pitcher to hit, you can basically leave your starter in the game until he tires or starts being ineffective. And regardless of what you may think about our light-hitting outfield or our 3rd basemen or Adam Eaton, the biggest flaws on this team are currently the bullpen and the bench.

The Bench:

Nunez - .220 AVG / .533 OPS
Dobbs - .194 AVG / .547 OPS
Barajas - .195 AVG / .719 OPS
Werth - .273 AVG / .671 OPS
Bourn - .235 AVG / .703 OPS

I don't expect allstars to be warming up the bench, but this is clearly a sub-par group of players. Bourn is good for speed and I guess Nunez has a good glove, but what more can you really count on these guys for?

The Bullpen:

Rosario
Hernandez
Castro
Condrey
And we used to have someone named "Smith" in there too

All four (five) of these players are AAA players at best. Castro will develop into a better pitcher with more seasoning and Condrey has been decent in blow-out situations, but none of these pitchers really deserve a more prominent role than that of a "mop-up" reliever.

Look, Gillick clearly knows more about baseball than I do. I just wonder if he has grasped the concept of how important a bench and bullpen are in the National League. Add all of this to the fact that we have Charlie Manuel as our manager. A guy whose previous stop as a manager was in Cleveland, an American League team. Giving him 4 minor leaguers for a bullpen is just asking for trouble.

Simply put: We have an American League GM with an American League manager playing in an American League-sized ballpark trying to put together a National League team.

...maybe that is the problem

Sopranos & Entourage

2007-05-07T00:19:00.000-04:00

Sunday Night Baseball is okay. I love getting away from Wheeler and Sarge for a day, even though Jon Miller and Joe Morgan are no great replacements. And I love seeing our boys in red getting national coverage, even though the greedy bastards at ESPN only televised last night's game because of Balco Barry. And I do love ESPN's high definition a lot better than Comcast's. But when the Sopranos and Entourage are also shown on Sunday nights, it sends my life into conflict. So I can't talk about last night's win in too much detail, besides the first three innings and the last 2. I will instead bring these two television shows into today's post and compare them to two pitchers.

= Cole Hamels

= Roger Clemens

Let me explain... and if you don't watch these television programs, I apologize.

Cole Hamels is an all out stud. If you read this site or any other Phillies blog out there, you already know the infatuation that we Phillies fans have with him. Example: Cole Hamels Facts. And at only 23 years of age, we can expect greatness for many years to come. Last night's game is an example. Even with a retard playing 3rd base, Hamels was able to overcome some early struggles and gave the Phillies enough pitching to win. There is no ceiling for Hamels' career and even when the Phillies suck, watching him every 5th game will be an event.

And much like Cole, Entourage is amazing. Every episode (like everyone of Cole's starts) is an event and is sure to please. Only in its third season, Entourage will delight fans for years to come...just like Hamels is expected to do. It is a show about 4 best friends doing hot chicks in LA with one of the best characters of all time, Ari, playing as an agent. What's not to like? I find it hard for anyone to say something bad about Entourage, much like you can't say anything bad about Cole. Because if you do, chances are Hamels will kill you.

Then there is Roger Clemens. The man who I hate with an indescribable passion. He is setting one of the absolute worst precedents for baseball players. He is a legend and will undoubtedly make it to Cooperstown, but to pull this "I'm going to wait until midway through the season and PICK what team I want to play for" routine every season makes me violently ill. And to be making 28 million dollars is just an f-ing mockery. And on top of it all, he doesn't even travel with the team during a road trip if he isn't scheduled to pitch. During yesterday's Mariners/Yankees game, he announced to the crowd of New York jackasses that he is coming back to the Bronx. WHAT A FREAKING SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE SEATTLE TEAM!! That was George Steinbrenner's way of saying "Hey Mariners, we can buy our way out of our problems. It's a shame you don't share this luxury." I could rant about this for hours, possibly days. So I'll stop it by showing this picture of Clemens right before he makes man-love with Joe Perry. Look at the frosted colored tips on his gay hair.

And much like Clemens, Sopranos has gotten me in quite a rage recently. This show started out as one of the coolest series HBO has ever shown. But much like Clemens, I have grown to hate it. Now in its final season, Sopranos has been one of the bigger disappointments of 2007. At the end of every episode this season, I get the same feeling of rage deep inside my gut that I did when I heard the news of Clemens returning to the Yankees. Both Roger and Sopranos have started out amazing and are now ending with frustration. Sopranos does, however, usually showcase naked strippers, which is something Clemens can never give me.

I Hate the West Coast

2007-05-04T01:11:00.000-04:00

Stupid California with its stupid different time zone making this stupid team play late into the night. I hate it when games start at 10 o'clock. Some people have to go to bed early you know! It is currently 1:15 in the morning as I am writing this and I can't take much more. The game started off great. Runners were being driven in with left and right by Phillies hitters and Adam "Gavin Floyd" Eaton was pitching well. Something was fishy.

Good starting pitching from a bad pitcher + runners not being left on base = a twilight zone...or as I call it, a "philight zone"

Then sure enough, Eaton starts sucking and we must go to our bullpen too early AGAIN! At the time of this post, it is 9-7 Phillies. Can these bastards hold onto a game where they once led 9-2?

If I wake up and read something like "Phillies bats come alive but pitching falters" on Phillies.com, I'm breaking a lamp.
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and sorry for saying philight zone...I thought it was clever.

also, reread this

Make this a sentence

2007-05-03T01:26:00.001-04:00

A Mixed Bag of Emotions

2007-05-02T00:24:00.000-04:00

I said it. I almost jinxed Philadelphia last night. After Rollins lead off with a base hit and Rowand walked, I turned to my two roommates and said these exact words: "Yo, this game is in the bag. Hamels vs Redman isn't even fair." Sure enough Utley and Howard lined out. Then Burrell popped up on the first pitch. My foot started its way towards my mouth.

Hamels, our pimpass ace, gives up a leadoff double, then a homerun to Chipper Jones. By the end of the inning, Cole seemed lucky to get out alive with only 3 runs given up. I don't think I could describe to you in text the anger and extreme frustration I was feeling at the end of the first. This baby to right is the best way I can describe it.

But then something uplifting happened. The Phillies battled back for four runs and knocked Redman out of the game. This caused the Braves to go to their bullpen a hell of a lot earlier than they would ever plan. Also, Brian McCann was literally knocked out of the game by Barajas. No McCann and signs of a potent offense had me feeling more like this baby now.

But Hamels, who struggled in his first inning, got into another jam in the 2nd, by giving up a lead off double to Wilson. Some smart defense by Utley saved his ass. I was feeling very unsure at this point what to make of Hamels. See baby.

But as we all know, the Phillies won and everything ended on a happy note for us phans. But besides FINALLY beating the Braves, the most encouraging thing to come out of last nights game is the maturity of Hamels. We are watching him grow into an ace right before our eyes. After not being able to locate anything in the first 2 innings, he settled down and controlled a potent Braves offense until the 8th inning, when Chipper went deep for a second time. My feelings during that homerun, once again, described by the baby.

Another very positive note: Myers has seemed to adjust to life in the bullpen and has been the sigh of relief we have been waiting for in the eighth inning. The ninth may still be tricky, but if flash can get his curveball back, I will find myself feeling like these monkeys a lot more often:

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and don't ask me why I used pictures of babies throughout this post. I have no rhyme or reason for it...

April: A look back at the month that was

2007-05-01T00:46:00.000-04:00

All throughout spring training, Phillies fans prayed to the baseball gods to have their team finish better than 10-14. Well, at 11-14 we all got our wish. So why am I not thrilled? How about we take a brief look back at April to see exactly what happened:

Week One: 1-5

After being swept by the Braves and losing 2 of 3 to the Marlins, Phillies' fans started to get that familiar feeling deep inside their gut. Manuel's head was being called for by game 3 and Gillick was getting a big "fuck you" from every fan he came across. The reason?...a shitty bullpen that Pat could not fix.

State of the Phan: Suicidal Tendencies. Remove all sharp objects, ropes and pills from anyone wearing red.

Week Two: 2-3, Phillies: 3-8

A heartbreaking loss to the Mets combined with losing the series at Shea, had the Eagles draft talk starting earlier than usual this April. The Bullpen was still a huge issue, as the offense was starting to rise up the "cause for concern" ladder. Manuel was still on the hot seat and my hatred for Jose Reyes was rising. Also, the realization that Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews would share the booth for 9 whole innings started to push some fans closer to the edge. Philadelphia held the title of "worst in baseball."

State of the Phan: Hanging. The cuts were made and knots were tied. There was maybe one/possibly two good things about the Phillies at this point.

Week Three: 3-3, Phillies: 6-11

After two straight rain delays, fans were thankful the weather gave them a temporary break from the depression that was the Phillies. They were blown out by the Mets, then lost a tough one in extra innings to the Nationals. Myers, the opening day starter, was demoted to a set-up role in the bullpen. Manuel almost fought Howard Eskin and College Nights were getting out of control. The Phillies did win their first series, however, versus Cincinnati, which was highlighted by a 15 strikeout performance by our newly appointed ace. Also, on April 22nd, the Phillies won two games in a row for the first time.

State of the Phan: Unenthusiastic. Hamels performance was stellar, but 5 games under .500 was still a big hurdle to overcome

Week Four: 5-3, Phillies: 11-14

A five game winning streak! Why did we ever doubt these guys? The offense finally woke up as the Phillies won two more series, making it three in a row. Rowand, Rollins and Utley were leading the charge and the bullpen miraculously stabilized. The hole we dug and sat in during the first three weeks was becoming smaller.

State of the Phan: Hopeful. We still can pick out the obvious flaws, but you can't win 5 in a row and be that bad, can you?

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Stud of the Month: J-Roll...J-Roll J-Roll J-Roll
- Finishing the month batting .298 with 9 homeruns, 18 RBIs and 26 runs scored, Rollins backed up his "team to beat" feelings. Unfortunately, he was one of the only players to do so.

Dud of the Month: Adam Eaton
- Making 8 million dollars for the next three years shows what a horrible debacle baseball has become. A 7.71 ERA to go along with a 1.64 WHIP, what the hell was Pat Gillick thinking?

Pleasant Surprise of the Month: Aaron Rowand
- I was hoping Rowand would be gone before the season started. Not because I don't like him, I just didn't think he was good enough to keep around. At .378, however, he put my foot in my mouth. I'm sorry Aaron. Forgive me?

Depressing Player of the Month: Ryan Howard
- At .221 and only 3 homers, the reigning MVP has hurt the heart of the Phillies order. Is it time to worry about a 2003-Burrell-like season?

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May
If Myers can settle in to become a dominant reliever, I can't see Manuel trusting Tom Gordon in the ninth that much longer. Don't kid yourself, the bullpen is still a problem and will unfortunately cost us some games down the line. But I don't think this is our only concern:

Will Garcia finally step up and pitch past the 6th?
Will Eaton stop sucking?
How long until Ryan Howard is moved down in the lineup?
Why does Burrell only have one homerun?
How much does Manuel hurt this team?
WHY IS NUNEZ STILL STARTING GAMES?

Only eight games in May will be played against NL East rivals, and none of them will be against New York. The Phillies will need to be at .500 by the time they come home from this road trip to keep some fans interested. Hopefully the warmer weather heats up the Phillies' bats and they finish the month a lot better than April. We may find out who the Phillies truly are.

Miguel Cabrera still looks like the Ultimate Warrior

2007-04-30T00:42:00.000-04:00

Pat Gillick isn't that bad of a GM. Sure, he gave 2 years to Nunez and 3 to Eaton. Sure, he signed Franklin and gave Abreu away for a bag of leftover Yankee scraps. And yes, he is the man that will ultimately be held responsible when Chris Coste kills himself. Our GM did, however, bring us what could be the most valuable pitching component any team can have: Jamie Moyer.

This St. Joes Hawk has been the most pleasant surprise the 2007 Phillies could ask for. Sure, he is 3-1 and is pitching to the tune of a 2.65 ERA. But more than what he gives to the Phillies every 5th day, he is giving to the Phillies for the next 5-10 years. For Cole Hamels to be able to watch the way Moyer pitches is possibly the best thing that will come from 2007 (besides a World Series, of course). Take away Manuel's incompetence as a human being, I almost felt like he had no right to take Moyer out of the game in the 8th inning yesterday. I am not disagreeing with the move or saying Moyer should have been left in. I just feel that Moyer is almost more like a coach than he is a player. I mean seriously, when Dubee takes a visit to the mound, what can he honestly tell him that Jamie doesn't already know? Does anyone think that Dick Dubee is smarter than Moyer?

After two straight games where a potent Marlins offense has collected a hit in every inning, Jamie Moyer was able to shut them down over 7.1 innings for ONLY 2 hits, which was how many hits Moyer collected himself. I don't even know what more to say about Moyer and what he means to this team. So I'll stop talking about him with this: Along with saying a little pray for Chris Coste every night before I sleep, I will now say a little pray that Jamie Moyer will one day become the pitching coach for the Philadelphia Phillies. I cannot think of a better scenario.

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I also have to bring up Cabrera's eye black again. I mentioned this the last time the Phillies played the Marlins in a day game. But why does he smother this shit all over his face? Again, I need to draw the comparison to the Ultimate Warrior:

...or maybe I'm the only one who thinks about 1980's wrestling heroes when I see baseball players.

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Tonight, the Phillies face a daunting task: Tim Hudson. And while he has been doing wonders for my WSBGMs Fantasy League, I hope he suffers like a Sopranos fan has suffered during this shitty final season. Can Jon Lieber continue this string of strong starts? Bob Wickman has looked very rough his past couple of outings, blowing a save in Colorado yesterday. Might the Phillies be one closer to .500 after today?

Either way, the Phillies have done something that they could not do the previous two years under Manuel: win more than 10 games in April. Now if we can just avoid that June Swoon...

I write this at the top of the 5th inning on Saturday, April 28

2007-04-28T20:35:00.000-04:00

Fuck Adam Eaton!

Take this gay smile back to Texas and kill yourself

You can't win them all...

2007-04-27T00:14:00.001-04:00

...actually, yes you can win them all. But it's just too hard to accomplish. I didn't see yesterday's loss, however, I wasn't shocked by it. Things were going too well for Philadelphia. On the heels of 5 straight wins where the Phillies put up huge offensive numbers, you would think a victory is in the bag when Cole Hamels, fresh off a 15 strikeout performance, is on the mound. Well, unfortunately we all need to be reminded sometimes that we live in Philadelphia and that our favorite team is the Phillies. Need I remind everyone of the number 10,000?

At this point, I am not depressed nor am I thrilled with the Phillies. I'm still very patiently waiting to see the true colors of this team. We've seen them hold the title of "worst in baseball". Then, we've seen the offense explode into a hitting frenzy. WHO ARE THE PHILLIES?! It seems to me that this question cannot ever be answered about this team. Like I mentioned in a post last month, they are consistently inconsistent...from game to game, series to series, month to month, year to year. To deal with these guys over the course of 162 games is our cross to bear.

I will put one thing into perspective, however. On April 18th, when the Phillies were a paltry 3-10, if you were to tell me that this team would have 9 wins by the month's end, I'd be thrilled. So here we are, with four games left in April sitting on 9 wins and 12 losses. We still have the chance to finish OVER .500, if not just a few games under.

Bottom Line: Many fans, including myself, were very worried that the Phillies were going to dig a hole so big in April, that the season was going to be a waste to watch. Of a burial plot that goes 6 feet under ground, the Phillies are only about 2 feet deep. Let's hope they bring their shovels to dig themselves out and their brooms to sweep the Fish.

The Official Phillies Shovel

Dugout Seats

2007-04-26T00:19:00.000-04:00

With my current 610 internship coming to an end, my boss gave me a nice little going away present: Two tickets to last night's game, 2nd row right behind the Phillies dugout. I consider myself a humble guy and never really had seats better than the outfield. This was one hell of an experience. I got pictures posted at the bottom of the amazing view.

Some quick game notes and thoughts first

Ryan Howard isn't back, but he is getting there. The two-run homerun against the wind was an encouraging sign
5 for 5. Do I have to say anything more about Chase Utley?
Jimmy Rollins is absolutely baffling myself and the rest of baseball. 8 homeruns in 20 games is amazing. He is making a very strong case for player of the month honors.
Burrell is still hitting and on-basing at a .400+ clip.
Matt Smith practically booked his own ticket to Canada last night. When he was walking back to the dugout I screamed out "HAVE FUN IN OTTAWA!!" He didn't look up at me...what a pussy.
Lieber is taking over nicely for Myers in the rotation. AND THE FATASS GOT A HIT!! I swear I thought the left fielder had a chance to throw him out before he got to first.
I'm 1 for 1 in my prediction thus far for the rest of April.

Two days ago I posted about a fan who was saying the most ridiculously retarded things during the game. I kept my mouth shut then, but couldn't refrain last night. When Burrell was up to bat with two men on, someone said "He is still hitting like .190 with RISP. Look, he only has 8 RBIs." I love jumping in on conversations to prove assholes wrong. I responded "Well Utley and Howard haven't been on base in front of him, so who is he going to knock in? Plus, he is hitting almost .400 with RISP. And his OBP is almost .500." The response from him "You like Burrell?" I responded "Yes, and I get very frustrated when fans hate on him for false reasons. He is too valuable to this team." The conversation continued a little bit longer and they started mentioning his contract and power shortage last season. I turned it all around on them. I should be on a debate team or something.

Player of the game.

Aaron Rowand's "I have to take a dump" batting stance.

Howard prior to his homerun

The Bell after J-Roll's bomb

Click on this picture for an up-close look at El Pulpo's sixth finger

Look at the creepy guy with the black hat staring at these girls

I think they wanted me

Why were we ever worried?

2007-04-25T01:27:00.000-04:00

With seven games left in the month of April, the Phillies have climbed out of the cellar of Major League Baseball, and somehow have a chance to finish the month above .500. Shocking isn't it? Here is how the remainder of the games will play out.

Wednesday vs Washington
Jon Lieber vs John Patterson

With an incentive to pitch now (a contract), Lieber now has a good reason to give it his all every start. In Lieber's last outing, he threw 77 pitches over 5.2 innings allowing only one hit and one walk with 5 strikeouts. Being a pitch-count nazi, Manuel pulled Lieber after striking out Adam Dunn. He should be able to reach 100 pitches this game.

Patterson has struggled so far this season. At 0-3 with an ERA at exactly 7.00, he has walked 14 batters and given up 20 hits in only 18 innings.

EDGE: Phillies. Riding a 4 game winning streak and a smoking hot Rowand, they will be hard to stop.

Thursday vs Washington
Cole Hamels vs Shawn Hill

Our prospect made his debut last May at Great American Ballpark. Then, our ace made his debut Saturday night at Great American Ballpark. I don't care who the Phillies are playing, it's going to be awhile before I bet against Hamels

Like I said above, I don't care who Shawn Hill is, we have Hamels on the mound.

EDGE: Phillies....need I say why again?

Friday vs Florida
Freddy Garcia vs Anibal Sanchez

Garcia's two starts were nice. Nothing fancy or spectacular, but they were enough to keep the Phillies in both games. Facing a still young Marlins roster, the veteran in Garcia should be able to handle Florida's now cooled-down offense.

Anibal Sanchez has been nothing more than decent. Control issues have hurt him as he has walked 12 batters. He is sporting a 4.15 ERA. I don't foresee another no-no from him.

EDGE: Phillies. A better starter with a better offense should be enough to lift them. It's no given and will probably be close considering the fact that our bullpen cannot possibly remain this dominant. This would be a 7 game winning streak and would put us at .500.

Saturday vs Florida
Adam Eaton vs Dontrelle Willis

Eaton has been nothing above average. Carrying a 6.46 ERA into this one, Adam has done little to earn the 8+ million dollars he signed for. Take away his first start, however, and his ERA drops to a mediocre 4.73. We hope for the best when he takes the hill

Willis has been shaky his past two starts, but is still one of the best April pitchers out there. It is never fun to face the D-train, and this will be one of those times.

EDGE: Marlins. If Eaton can at least keep us in it, however, we should have a good chance at pulling out with a win. Our best hitters thus far, Rowand and Burrell, are right handed and may deal Willis some pain. Let's hope so.

Sunday vs Florida
Jamie Moyer vs. Rick Vanden Hurk?

Dating back to last September, Moyer has turned the young Marlins hitters into his bitch. Winning already against them this April, and 3 times last year. Still rocking a solid 3.38 ERA, Moyer couldn't have done more for the Phillies

I'm guessing Vanden Hurk being the starter. It may be Mitre, I don't know. Either way, I'm not too scared.

EDGE: Phillies. Moyer has shown no sign of weakness vs Florida. After a tough loss vs Willis on Saturday, the Phillies will be fighting back against whatever bum Florida throws out there. Back to .500 at 12-12.

Monday @ Atlanta
Jon Lieber vs Mark Redman

Not much will change since his Wednesday start. Jon still has that contract to pitch for.

Redman has showed why he was a last-minute signing by the Braves. Still winless, Mark has struggled in every start besides his one vs Chicago. The Phillies will need to get to him early and often.

EDGE: Phillies. A 13-12 finish. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE?

According to my genius and extremely biased brain, the Phillies will somehow come out of this dismal month going 10-2 with a final record above .500. Then again that is just me. There is a reason they play 162 games and don't rely on me for answers...although I wish they did.

Phans Can Agree on 1 Thing

2007-04-24T07:15:00.000-04:00

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday afternoon when a friend of mine called me up with the seven best words I could here: "Want to go to the Phillies game?" Of course I said yes. He then added the word "free" in the conversation. I was a one happy man.

It was a great night to be at the ballpark. 70 degree temperature, an offensive onslaught, dollar dogs, magnet giveaways, Jackie Robinson tributes and a near cycle. I can now say that I was there for the first 3-game win streak of 2007. But I'm not here to talk about a great victory, I want to tell you all about the fan who sat to the right of me and the retarded shit that spewed from his mouth. And I should preface this by stating I didn't argue or fight with him. He made some ridiculous statements, and while I wanted to counter-argue his words, I kept quiet.....in other words: I was sober.

Dumb Statement #1
After Aaron Rowand comes up for his second AB: "BOOO. This guy is the worst centerfielder in baseball. He made one good catch but he sucks."
Immediately following this, Rowand doubled. While I do think Rowand is drastically overrated here in Philadelphia due to that catch, he is still an above average centerfielder. To call him the worst one in baseball is insane. And do I even have to mention that he is hitting .364

Dumb Statement #2
After Shane Victorino comes up for this second AB: "This guy sucks. He is only good at fielding, that's it."
Victorino then singled. Oh, and he is hitting .319.

Dumb Statement #3
After Howard strikes out: Claps his hands mockingly then says "Way to go Howard. Way to earn that money. Way to earn that $900,000."
This just confused me. Is he mad that we are paying the reigning NL MVP only $900,000?

Dumb Statement #4
After Burrell struck out (the only time he was retired): "BOOO. 19 million dollars right there. You're worth it all Burrell."
I had to say something here and told him it was 13 million. He didn't really say anything more about this.

Dumb Statement #5
After I see that Matt Smith is warming up in the bullpen, I say "NO! I hate Matt Smith." He replies "Dude, Smith isn't bad at all. He's still young."
So at this point, I realize that he hates Rowand and Victorino and thinks Howard and Burrell are overpaid. But the 27 year old Matt Smith is a good pitcher and is young. Granted, he's not that old, but turning 28 in two months doesn't make him a budding prospect.

I started to see that this kid is a negative, know-it-all prick who truly doesn't know it all. I took the high road and didn't talk shit. There was one point, however, where we saw eye to eye:

When Burrell was lifted in the 6th inning for Michael Bourn, I said out loud "What? SHIT! Manuel is freakin' idiot. It's the 6th inning!" He replied "Yea, Manuel sucks."

We were in agreement on one thing: Charlie Manuel is horrible

Streaks and Slurpies

2007-04-23T01:17:00.000-04:00

To horribly paraphrase a classic movie, Major League II:

We won on Saturday. We won yesterday, that's two in a row. If we win again today, that's called a winning streak. It has happened before!

I never thought 6-11 would look so good. Now the Phillies need to take a visit to Apu Nahasapeemapetilon at the nearest 7Eleven and get that record closer to .500. Howard homered, Utley doubled, Garcia got the win. All is right with the universe. Let's hope Adam Eaton can continue this new thing the Phillies have discovered: winning

And it always seem unnecessary to complain about managerial moves when a team wins. The ultimate goal of a baseball game is to win, and if a team can accomplish this, there shouldn't be any reason to criticize the manager. This, however, should not pertain to the Phillies trusty skipper, Mr. Charles Manuel. I just have a few questions/complaints about Sunday's game

Why is a bench player, Greg Dobbs, batting ahead of Aaron Rowand, who has the 7th highest batting average in the National League? Manuel's reasoning is probably the whole lefty vs righty situation that is completely overblown by everyone in baseball, especially Charlie.
Freddy Garcia was brought to Philadelphia to be a workhorse and eat innings. Then why the hell did Manuel take him out of the game in the 6th inning when he only threw 89 pitches? He may have let the first two men on, but this team is going to need their starters to go deeper than 5 innings if they are going to have a shot at winning. And don't give me give me a "he was on a pitch count" answer. I hate pitch counts and the pussy pitchers who live and die by them.
Along with the above argument, when there are two men on base with no outs, you would hope for a strikeout. Now, why did Manuel bring in our only reliever who has yet to strike someone out? Not to mention that Matt Smith is the worst reliever we have. He may have gotten through 2/3 of the batters he faced, but why does Manuel keep giving the ball to him in tight situations?
Another bullpen query. I wasn't watching the last 2 innings of the game, but why was Brett Myers in the game in the ninth during a mop-up situation? Shouldn't someone like Rosario be pitching here? Why waste our best pitcher (he still is) with a 7 RUN LEAD!!!
Does Gillick, a supposed baseball man, see these obvious faulty moves? And these aren't even big faults of his. He has had MUCH worse.

I guess it must be annoying to here me complain about the manager after the Phillies won a game. I just always get that sense that the Phillies win games in spite of Manuel's moves...and not because of them. Sorry for being a negative douche. It did feel great to finally win back-to-back games.

Who's thirsty for a slurpy?

Hamels Loosens the Phans Noose Slightly

2007-04-22T00:09:00.000-04:00

What more can anyone say about how much Cole Hamels means to the Philadelphia Phillies? In his four starts thus far this season, Hamels has left each game in line for the W. The bullpen blew his first two leads and thankfully got through his third. In his fourth start, Hamels gave the bullpen the finger and took the nine innings himself. Unfortunately, work prohibited me from witnessing the best game of the 2007 season, but after reading about it on the internet and listening to 610, I have something to say to Phillies fans:

Attention Philadelphia, our long awaited ace has finally arrived

The loss from Friday is still stinging and unforgivable, but this is the initial step to heal the wounds. And the first step to a possible winning streak, which I should mention would be the first one of the season...and we are almost a week away from May!

Also, in honor of Cole Hamels, I thought I would make up some of my own Cole Hamels Facts

Cole Hamels dared Charlie Manuel to fight Howard Eskin. Manuel didn't want to, but no one says "no" to Cole.
Cole Hamels loves Driven To Deep Center.
Since he is such a nice guy, Cole Hamels pitches to Chris Coste on his off days to remind Coste of the "glory days."
Cole Hamels is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.
More than an hour of the team meeting held yesterday was Hamels telling stories of his childhood. This is way more important than winning baseball games.
If you look closely, you will see a wet spot around Charlie Manuel's crotch every time he walks to the mound to take Hamels out of the game. Manuel is very scared to tell Cole to stop pitching.
The Spartans in 300 were based off of Cole Hamels.
Cole Hamels kicked Ryan Howard's knee causing him to sit out for a few days so he could think about what a shitty hitter he has become.
The only reason Cole Hamels married Heidi Strobel was for tax benefits. Hamels is still very much a bachelor and still brings home a new chick every night.
Cole Hamels got angry the Phillies turned a triple play. He wanted to strike the next three batters out.
Cole Hamels loves freedom and democracy so much that he gets offended when people call him King Cole.
The only thing sad enough to make Cole Hamels cry was when the Phillies were eliminated from playoff contention in 2006. Hamels has vowed to never cry for this reason again.

Contraband

2007-04-20T01:16:00.001-04:00

There was talk going on by some readers yesterday about some analogies for the Phillies and Charlie Manuel. And in the past week, I have talked about how the Phillies are like a drug that you can't quit no matter what it is doing to you. So I have compiled a list of different vices that I feel are comparable to the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies.

Charlie Manuel: Heroin

Our trusty skipper is a downer. Much like heroin. Our trusty skipper is painful. Much like heroin. Our trusty skipper, according to Gillick, will be around for awhile. And just like Manuel's job security, an addiction to heroin will unfortunately stick with you for quite some time. Heroin is also an embarrassing habit that everyone attempts to keep a secret. This is tough, however, due to the marks it leaves on your arms. Manuel is also an embarrassment that we fans wish to keep out of the public eye. But with the media hungry whores that we are, Manuel is everywhere. We need to kick this habit.

Offense: Caffeine/Energy Drinks
Coming into the season, the Phillies offense was suppose to be one of the most high powered and dangerous lineups in the National League. Lead by Rollins and powered by Howard, they were expected to put up 5+ runs every night. And they look promising...half of the time. They get on base at a ridiculously high rate and always have men in scoring position. This is where the caffeine kicks in. We, as die-hard fans, get jacked up and ready for a big inning. But much like red bull and coffee, we crash very hardly due to their inability to score runs. The offense gets us up, then sets us right back down.

Starting Rotation: Alcohol

The first two and half weeks of the season have been up and down for the starting staff. Garcia is out, then in. Myers is dominant, then horrible, then demoted. Sergovia spot starts then goes back down. Eaton sucks, then produces quality, then goes average. Saves the lefties, our starters have been an incredibly inconsistent bunch. Getting drunk is the same way. When drinking beer, I'm a happy drunk. I've never drank vodka without getting sick. Rum is a liquor that goes down smoother than water, while I can't take more than 2 sips of gin. Whiskey...well whiskey may turn me into the incredible hulk. Basically, from drink to drink and start to start, both the rotation and alcohol will always act differently.

The Bullpen: Going to a truck stop bathroom at 3AM wearing chaps and Elton John sunglasses

Coming into the season, we knew the bullpen was bad. We all knew that it would suck and that it wasn't wise to start 2007 with the relief staff we had. It was a poor decision on Gillick's part to enter the season with no set-up man and no backup closer. And much like going forward with our bullpen, it is NEVER a good idea to stop at a truck stop late at night, go into the bathroom with your best pair of chaps on while sporting some "Sir Elton" shades. Both the bullpen and this scenario are equally horribly.

Pat Gillick: Gambling habit

This is one of the only analogies that is true. Pat Gillick must have a very bad gambling addiction and it is one that is currently killing this baseball team. So far, he has gambled on:

Ryan Franklin
Alex Gonzalez
Abraham Nunez
Julio Santana
Rod Barajas
Ricardo Rodriguez for Padilla
Karim Garcia

It is still too early for Barajas, but all of these moves ended up as failures for Gillick and the Phillies. Like most gambles, Pat lost money with these chumps.
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I also just noticed the date: 4/20. I guess I should have compared something on this team to weed. Hmmm....

There is just too much to talk about

2007-04-19T00:43:00.000-04:00

For a team that has produced nothing worthy of our recognition, there is a ton of news that any blogger could talk about. And while senior year of college plus my job is killing my baseball time allotments, I will do my best to run through the issues surrounding the Phillies and give my holy opinion on each.

The Bumbling Hick vs The Stammering Dick

There are few people I hate more than Howard Eskin. He is a self-serving douchebag and is an annoyance to listen to. But I found it hard to get mad or accuse him of the fiasco that took place two nights ago. And while he instigates a ton of shit with a lot of people, there is no excuse for how pissed off Manuel got. Charlie is clearly frustrated with this team and took it out on a sleezy shithead in Eskin. I wish they both fought each other and fell off a cliff in the process.

Our Ace in the Bullpen

When I first heard this on the radio, I immediately called up my 3 biggest Phillies fanned friends (??) to confirm/ask for reasoning. I, for one, hate the move.

Is this a demotion?
Is this to get Lieber starts so we can trade him?
Is this because our bullpen is THAT bad?
Whose call was this?
Why is it as a set-up man?
Are we trying to make Brett the next Papelbon?
ARE WE WASTING ONE OF THE TOP 20 STARTERS IN THE NL?!
WHAT THE LOGIC?!

All I know is this is what happens when you fail to accomplish shit in the offseason, Pat Gillick. Congratulations GM, the team you assembled was SO BAD that we had to convert our ace to a 8th inning reliever. Hey Gillick, is it fun being a fucking puppet for Montgomery and the crew? Grow some balls.

I'm Jumping in on the Movement

The "Fire Manuel Movement." I've never been against the idea but never pushed for it. The homies over at WSBGMs have been calling for it for awhile and I now join their march. For my reasoning, I have three questions to ask you:

Is Charlie Manuel a good manager?
Are there better managers out there?
Is this team winning?

If you answered NO, YES, NO to those three questions, then a replacement should be in order. The same can be said for any manager in baseball. Manuel isn't high on the list of reasons for this deplorable 3-10 start, but he isn't innocent either. A change of pace can only be good for this team.

One Last Note

PLEASE SELL THIS TEAM TO COMPETENT OWNERS! The players are at fault but this organization is set up like a pyramid. It all starts at the top and trickles all the way down to the bat boys in the dugout to the field crew who pulls out the tarp to the guy who gets the players sunflower seeds to the guy collecting tickets to the dude with dreads in the parking lot playing "Take me out the ballgame" on the saxophone. NO ONE IS ABSOLVED!!

...You are all losers in my book

The Phillies are SO COOL

2007-04-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

Wow. How great is Philadelphia baseball?!?!

Every night that the Phillies are scheduled to play makes my life a joy. At 7:05, I sit in front of the T.V. waiting for the best baseball team of all-time to 'wow' me. I never get nervous with the lineup Manuel constructs. I know that every night the starting pitcher is going to give Philadelphia 7 strong innings. And if he doesn't, I know the offense is going to score over 8 runs to back him up. They always get on base and never have problems knocking men in. If there is a runner in scoring position, I know the batter will get him home. Watching the bullpen is a treat. It is lights out from them. Any lead, from one run to ten runs, is safe in the arms of the relief staff.

Pat Gillick (AKA the best GM of all time) has done a great job of putting a winner on the field with absolutely no holes. Defense, offense, starting and relief pitching is all top-notch. And not only did Gillick put great players on this roster, he also kept a genius on the staff to manage this bunch of all stars. He never embarrasses us fans or this franchise with his educated quotes. I mean, check out this work of art:

"It can go both ways. If we come out tonight and score a lot of runs, I'm going to say, 'Yeah, it helped us.' If we don't, I'll say, 'Darn, those two days killed us.'"

Yep, things are really looking up for the Phillies fans of this amazing city.

I almost feel too blessed. God must love me. No matter how bad a day at work was or how much my family or friends are pissing me off, I KNOW that I have the Phillies to put a smile on my face everyday of the year. No day is gloomy in Philadelphia so long as the Phillies are playing. A complaining Phillies fan is merely an idiot who doesn't appreciate the winning franchise this team truly is.

Thank you Pat Gillick. You have given so many fans in this city something to be grateful for.

...now go fuck yourself!!

My weekend without baseball

2007-04-16T02:00:00.001-04:00

My weekend away from Philadelphia was very rough. Not to get into my personal life too much (because I don't think anyone cares and my life isn't that exciting), but I went to Washington DC for a Sorority Formal on Friday and spent the weekend there. And even though the Phillies are off to one of the most deplorable starts in recent history, I couldn't stop texting friends who were at the game on Friday night to find out the score. I was ultimately disappointed but amazed to hear that there were over 130 arrests made Friday night at the stadium for underage drinking. Damn kids...

Saturday, instead of walking around our Nation's Capital and enjoying the sights of DC, I sat in front of my friend's computer and watched the pitch by pitch on the MLB.com Gameday. I must say, for anyone who isn't from the Philadelphia area, it is an excellent tool.

And then Sunday (my birthday), I was suppose to drive up to Philly very early in the morning to make it back to the stadium. The plan was to attend the game with some buddies. Mother nature, however, is a dirty whore and decided to ruin my birthday. I'm buying a Hummer and driving cross country to get back at her for this.

Overall, I thought what I needed was a weekend away from the Phillies, it turns I just can't leave them. I'm like Jared Leto in Requiem For a Dream: I can't leave my addiction no matter how much I know it is messing up my life. I'm so pathetic.

...for anyone who never saw Requiem For a Dream, Leto plays a heroin addict. The Phightins are my heroin. Also, go rent the movie. It is amazing.

Tonight
If Mother Nature decides to stop pms-ing over Philadelphia, I will be going to see our "big offseason move" finally in action against my current least favorite team. Some questions may be answered:

Can Freddy still be effective?
Will Freddy dominate the NL like we were told?
Will Freddy's velocity be back to normal?
Can the Phillies put together their first winning streak of the season?
Will Ryan Howard stop making us worry?
Will Rollins continue his impersonation of Howard?

I hope for a "yes" to all of these, but won't hold my breath.

Blame Jose Reyes

2007-04-13T00:16:00.000-04:00

The Phillies had their flaws last night. You saw it, I saw it. For me to list them here might be redundant and infuriating for both yourself and myself. Read one of the blogs to the right or go to Phillies.com for a recap. I won't piss you off with what happened last night. I plan, instead, on getting out my hatred for Jose Reyes. He is to blame for all that is wrong with the world.

We all know he destroys the Phillies. His line vs. them:
.333/9/26 with 18 stolen bases in 56 games.

Every time he comes to the plate versus them, I cringe with anger, fear, depression and an intense feeling of blind rage. I'm not lying. I get legitimately angry when he gets a hit or steals a base off of the Phillies. My friend Bill, pictured right, can best sum up my feelings about him.

So in honor of Jimmy Rollins' two homeruns last night, here are 11 things you should know (and see) about Jose Reyes:

On the night of April 3, Jose whispered "nappy headed hoes" repeatedly into Don Imus' ears while he slept. This in turn sparked Imus to call out the Rutgers womans basketball team sparking a ridiculous national outrage.
Is best friends with Gavin Floyd (my other enemy)
Shaved Britney Spears' head, thus killing my childhood fantasies...even though she was a fat whore before that.
Tried to stop the release of 300, possibly the coolest movie of all time.
He doesn't think Carmen Electra is hot.
Got Arrested Development, one of the funniest shows ever, canceled.
Thinks Keanu Reeves is one of the best actors of our generation.
Prefers Tremors 2 over the original Tremors.

I will probably post these pictures many more times this season during upcoming Mets' series. This is the third post they have surfaced on thus far. I honestly cannot stand playing against him. He is the devil.
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I also want to note that this is the 100th post on Driven to Deep Center. But this is no time for celebration. THE PHILLIES ARE 2-7! And I don't even know who to blame anymore.

Eaton Shocks, Old Lefties Await

2007-04-12T00:25:00.000-04:00

Win number two couldn't have felt any better. I never thought having a 2-6 record could feel so good. Maybe it is because it was against our hated rivals. Maybe it was because it broke a 3 game losing streak. Or maybe it was because 2 and 6 are the numbers Chase Utley wears. But within the three hour game last night, Phillies fans witnessed many promising signs.

The first being that Eaton has the ability to throw a quality start. We aren't going to get Lidle-like consistency each game from Eaton, but last night showed that while he can blow a game like last Wednesday, he can control one as well.
The second sign of promise was 2 innings of scoreless relief. Alfonseca and Gordon shut down the Mets from Jose Reyes to Shawn Green. I'm not going to say our bullpen worries are over and that Alfonseca will be the best set-up man in the National League, but it was a huge weight off of Philadelphia's shoulders.
The third aspect of last night's game that should be considered is the pitching of Oliver Perez. It doesn't seem like he will be reverting back to 2004 any time soon. He still has no control and may become a hole in the Mets' rotation. It is still early, so I'm not casting a comeback year totally out of the question. But seven walks is a horrible sign. Anything that leads to a weakness on the Mets team is fine by me.

Tonight's Game
Two aging, veteran, crafty, savvy, calm, controlling, classic, baseball-smart lefties face off in what could be the most boring pitching match-up of all time. Glavine will only throw junk on the corners and will somehow get the calls from the umpire. And Moyer will take 25 minutes to pitch an inning, especially when Jose Reyes is on base. I am looking forward to the game, however, I am not in any way excited about hearing Wheeler talk about these pitchers. All those horribly cliche adjectives I said in the beginning of this paragraph are sure to come out of his mouth throughout the entire game....

"You see Sarge, he just plays the game the right way. He is baseball smart. He is a typical lefty. A veteran. He's all class. He is a dirtball type of player. He has the Phillies' number."

"Yea. Well now you see, what Glavine was trying to do there was pitch the ball to the batter, Ron Howard, and get him to miss the pitch with his bat after he swings at the baseball with it. He throws the ball with his left hand, you see, which puts Howard at a disadvantage. The pitch was pitched by the pitcher and the hitter didn't hit the baseball with the bat...which is just bad hitting. Overall it was a good strategy that worked in the favor of the opposing team."

"Would you guys shut the fuck up." (holds gun to his head) "Hold on Whitey I'm coming."

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Oh, the good old days:

Never Forget What You Love

2007-04-11T07:00:00.000-04:00

The off-day, while it was nice to give me time away from the heartache, just reminded me how much I actually love baseball. The Phillies suck and have caused me to almost have a heart attack 6 times in the past week, but a day without a baseball team to care for has done wonders for me. I say this because last night I went to the Sixers game. My boss at WIP gave me courtside seats and while the Sixers won, it was NOTHING compared to a Phillies game. Maybe it was because the Sixers aren't going anywhere and maybe it is because I was partially intoxicated the whole time, but watching our basketball team win a game was nothing compared to watching our baseball team. Even if I was courtside, I'd rather sit in the nosebleed section at Citizens Bank Park. For Christ's sake, it is our national pastime. This game is in our blood.

So besides Pat Burrell, Cole Hamels and Jamie Moyer, there is nothing good to write about concerning the Phillies. But has a bad baseball team ever stopped us before? And is this a bad baseball team? Right now...hell yes. But in the long run, will this team really tie with the Nationals for the worst team in baseball? Both you and I know the answer to that.

So stop crying and act like a man...

Ryan Howard stepping to the plate still gives you the chills
Watching Hamels gives you hope for the future
Utley is still your favorite player
Victorino's play in right field still makes you yell from your couch at home
Rollins is still your general

This is time of the year we have been patiently waiting for since October 2, 2006. A slow start after just 7 games isn't going to knock you off the bandwagon this quickly, is it? I could write a 2,000 word essay on how I feel the Phillies team should be fixed and on who I think the blame should be placed upon. Those issues can be debated more than the moon landing. But at the end of the day, this team is still your passion.

Basically, decide for yourself who is at fault in this organization. But don't ever give up on this team...no matter how many times it seems they have given up on you.

There are somethings money can't buy

2007-04-10T01:18:00.000-04:00

A new Phillies trash can to replace the horrible dents I put in the old one: 15 dollars
Peroxide and Band-aids for my bloody knuckles: 8 dollars
Touch up paint to fix the marker explosion on the wall: 10 dollars
A new pair of socks that got bloody from kicking the steel frame on my bed: 3 dollars
A new hamster ball that was smashed: 7 dollars
Watching the Phillies start the season off 1-6 for the second straight year and finding a way to apologize to my dog for screaming at it: ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Here is something to ponder that a buddy of mine said yesterday:
"I don't know who I hate more right now, the Phillies or the Mets"

And below is an actual letter I wrote up with full intentions to send to the Phillies GM. It is quite long so if you are bored and have the time, read through it. If you don't read it, I don't blame you. I don't want to read about the Phillies problems anymore either.

Dear Mr. Gillick,
My name is Michael Bornmann and I have been a Phillies fan for the past 22 years of my life. I am sure that I don't need to tell you that in that span of time, I have only seen the Phillies go to the playoffs once. And we both felt differently at the conclusion of that World Series.

I am writing to you because I feel like I can speak for a lot of Phillies fans who pay very good money to buy tickets, merchandise and food at Citizens Bank Park. I need not to remind of the horrendous start the Phillies have gotten off to once again. You know how the fans in this city are and something this horrible will not pass by quietly. So the question needs to be asked, what have YOU done to this baseball team to improve it?

You came here to take over for an incompetent GM who could not accomplish a given task, which was to win enough games to get into October. The fans in this city have had enough and you were a breath of fresh air. We knew your track record and could not wait to see what you could do to this miserable franchise.

Your first offseason was nothing to write home about. Trading Thome was the right thing to do and Aaron Rowand seemed to make sense. The farm system got two young, promising arms and we all knew Ryan Howard would shine. Your free agent acquisitions, however, all failed. If they weren't traded or released, they barely hit above .200 on the season. Everyone in Philadelphia gave you a free pass since it was your first year. The Abreu deal was one of the worst in team history. No news to you, we lost 3 more games than in 2005.

Your next offseason seemed better. You had two main objectives. Regardless of what some idiots in the media were saying about protection, you needed to get 5 reliable starters and strengthen a beaten up bullpen. You got Freddy Garcia in return for Gio Gonzalez, a very promising prospect. I was willing to accept this because I also wanted to win now. You also signed Adam Eaton to a 3 year contract. I also let this pass to see what else you had planned. Besides Wes Helms, however, that was all you did. Our bullpen, a major problem in 2006, was not changed.

You kept Charlie Manuel, a man who cannot manage a bullpen at all, for another season. Mr. Gillick, far be it from to tell you how to do your job, but how on God's green earth could you not do anything more than sign Antonio Alfonseca for the bullpen. It was obvious by July that Gordon had little left and we had no in-house options. I have heard you say a countless number of times that everyone is looking for bullpen help and that it is tough to come by. I see this as merely a shallow excuse for a job poorly done. A good GM finds a way to fix patches on a team.

Because of your incompetencies to give our manager a strong set of relief pitchers, this town is now calling for his head. The owners, and yourself, are hiding behind Charlie Manuel letting him take the blame for all of these losses. Sure the offense hasn't been hitting and Manuel is a bad manager, but the real blame of this April belongs to yourself. You are ultimately responsible for what has happened thus far. With a bullpen that the Phillies could have relied on, they would easily have 3-4 more wins. Possibly more. And how many wins did we miss the playoffs by in 2005 and 2006?

It has become clear to us fans over the years that the Phillies owners do not care enough about winning and care only about the money they put in their pockets. And since we all know people will stop going to the ballpark, hence decreasing the money in their pockets, you will have to fire Charlie Manuel to show a commitment to winning. And I personally agree with the move. Manuel being gone can do no harm to this team. But let me present this to you: A club with a payroll at almost a 100 million dollars should not have to fire a manager in April to keep fans interested in the team.

I should note also that all of the stars on this team and the only reason the Phillies have a shot to win are players that you had nothing to do with. Utley, Howard, Rollins, Hamels, Myers, Burrell (yes Burrell), and Victorino were all here before you arrived.

I did not write this letter to be a smartass and if you even read this at all, I doubt you will give any thought to the words I have written. I wrote this to ask you to please fix the state of Philadelphia's baseball situation. There is still a bunch of time to keep fans interested in this team. And I need to let you know that if the Phillies DON'T make the playoffs this season, the blame from me (and possibly thousands more) will rest solely on your shoulders. You have had the time and money to improve this team, yet you have done little to help.

Sincerely,
Michael Bornmann

TRYING to find the good

2007-04-08T17:21:00.000-04:00

Is it time to start panicking? Only two series into the season and the Phillies have given us nothing to smile about. Same old, same old...

Their manager still makes you shake your head
Their inability to drive in runners still makes you furious
Their inability to capitalize on walks is still frustrating
Poor defense and fielding decisions are still killing our starters
The bullpen has not been improved

It's the same old shit every year with this team. I don't want to hear "this is a new energy" or "the chemistry is different" anymore. The Phillies strike out too much and turn into little leaguers when their are men on base. Here is something that will put a bullet in your head... In the 4 innings the Marlins' bullpen pitched, they gave up 3 hits and 7 walks. Of those 10 people that were on base in those 4 innings, 1 man scored. The bases were loaded twice, both times with only one out. Again, only 1 FUCKING RUN SCORED!

The good that came out of Sunday:

Segovia, if Victorino was playing in RF and Helms knew how to field, would have pitched one hell of a Major League debut
Pat Burrell is the only Phillies to have a hit in every game this season.
Pat Burrell also showed off his cannon gunning down Uggla at third
Howard finally had an extra base hit
Rollins had two more walks
Geary is probably the only reliever I still feel comfortable with

The bad:

Barajas
Hitting with runners on
Alfonseca's true colors seem to have finally shown
Fielding fundamentals...weren't the new coaches suppose to help that?
1-5 AGAIN...weren't the Phillies suppose to get off to a hot start this time?

The Phillies April Motto: "There is still a lot of baseball that needs to be played."
Unfortunately, their October motto: "We'll get them next year"
And their March motto: "We have to get off to a hot start this time."
....It is a never ending circle of frustration and anger.

Four games back with only one victory heading into New York for the Mets home opener. I wonder how those Mutts fans are going to treat our boys.

On a lighter note, am I the only one who couldn't help but think of the Ultimate Warrior when I saw Miguel Cabrera's eye black? This is best picture I could find of him on the internet...

And now the Ultimate Warrior....

Also, Olsen's eyes always look like he just got done crying:

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And one last note to Mr. Pat Gillick:
Rosario and Bauer are NOT the answers to our season. Keep fishing for relief.

Charlie Manuel vs Ryan Madson

2007-04-07T21:44:00.000-04:00

I think at this point in time, it is becoming very clear that the Phillies' skipper wants to destroy the spirits of Ryan Madson. After giving the Braves the lead in the tenth on Monday, Manuel trots Madson back out for the tenth again on Wednesday. Madson barely got through it, but was then shoved back out in the 11th to give up another game-winning homerun. So at this point, Madson has not pitched an outing without giving up a game-winner. His confidence is probably not existent.

Saturday vs the Marlins, after the Phillies are down 6-3, Manuel brings in Ryan Madson for some semi-mop-up work. Madson gets through the first inning. Good job. Gets through the second inning. Good job, now get him out so he can build on this. You have other relievers you can use, Madson isn't the only one. Once again, like on Wednesday, our trusty manager trots Madson back out for a third inning and waits for him to give up a run before he yanks him out. It's almost like Charlie is thinking "Every game Ryan pitches, I am going to keep him in there until he gets scored on." Madson is struggling mightily thus far this season, but is still a big part of our bullpen. Confidence is a HUGE part of pitching and Charlie isn't helping out Ryan with this. Players don't deserve to get special treatment, but Madson desperately needs some help.

Also...
Questions that NEED to be answered

Where did Ryan Howard's bat go?
Listening to Wheeler and Sarge ALL NINE innings is torture. So...why did the Phillies fire Scott Graham?
Do people still hate Pat Burrell?
If defense is the reason Philadelphia loves Rowand, is he still a fan favorite?
Am I the only one who cries when our starters leave the game?

...Another 1-4 start to the season. And this time I don't have Gavin Floyd to blame.

A Change of Pace

2007-04-06T01:51:00.000-04:00

The airwaves, television stations, blogsphere and local bars are all filled with depression and negativity...and rightfully so. There is only a handful of things to be happy about these days as a Phillies fan. In fact, last night at PJ Whelihan's, I had on a Phillies shirt and some people just shook their head at me in a sad, disappointed manner. I was drinking Yuengling so I didn't let it bother me, but I understood their pain. And while I could sit here and bitch, whine and complain about our bullpen, offense, GM and manager, I thought I'd TRY to put some things in perspective with our current putrid 0-3 start. Maybe a look around the league will convince us to loosen that noose.

Other 0-3 teams: Houston Astros, St. Louis Cardinals (World Series Champions), Texas Rangers and Baltimore Orioles (not a good example)
Other teams who struggled: LA Dodgers (WS Contenders), Chicago Cubs (Millions Spent), Ch White Sox (Still a strong team)

Ryan Howard has been pretty bad thus far. So has the best player in baseball...
Albert Pujols: 1 hit in 10 at-bats with no RBIs and 2 walks
Other studs with averages under .200: Garciaparra, Berkman, Uggla, Delgado, LaRoche, Carlos Lee, and Wes Helms (ohh...wait)

Basically, the Phillies' play has been poor...borderline horrible. I hurt my hand today punching the power on my TV off after Eaton blew the game. I'm not happy and neither are you. But maybe we should stop and realize that three games is just a small blip on the big scheme of a season. Gillick isn't blind, and while I don't find him to be a good GM at all, he has to understand that he needs to make a move.

I'm trying my best here to improve our horribly depressing spirits. I don't think I'm doing so great so I called in reinforcements. These always raise our happy-meter here at Driven to Deep Center:

...Carmen Electra is truly a fan favorite on this website.

The temperature was the only difference I noticed

2007-04-05T00:46:00.000-04:00

The first game I went to, I got a bad sunburn while watching the Phillies lose in extra innings to the Braves. The second game I went to, I froze my ass off while watching the Phillies lose in extra innings to the Braves. Same shit, different game. There is so much I want to write about. My head is completely full of thoughts, ramblings, complaints and stories I have from yesterdays debacle. I honestly don't know where to begin and since my head is pounding from all the Lion's Head I consumed, I'll try my best with this post.

First thing: College Night + Dollar Dog Night = 45 minute lines for hot dogs. Horrible decision on their part to combine the two. And when you give away free shirts that say "College" on them, expect mayhem at the concession stands.

My Charlie Manuel Rant: Yesterday, I said I feel bad for Manuel since he has very little to work with in his bullpen. He doesn't manage it well and giving him shitty relievers isn't helping the situation. So he brings in Gordon in the ninth, which was an obvious right decision. It isn't his fault Gordon can't hold a two run lead. He brings in Madson in the 10th inning of a tie game (sound familiar). This move was incredibly questionable. Ryan struggled but got through it. This was a breath of fresh air. Okay, so at this point, if you are a manager, you take Madson out and let him sit on that inning. He didn't blow a game, worked a scoreless frame and should have gotten a slight boost of confidence. Madson's day is over, right? Wrong. Not our trustworthy skipper. After nearly losing control of the 10th inning, he sends Madson BACK out in the 11th inning WITH NO ONE WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN!!!!!! Even if Madson struck out the side in the 10th with 9 pitches, I STILL don't do this. Now Madson has taken the decision on both losses this season and has got to have no self-confidence left on that mound. The fans will now look to him as the reason for both losses as it will take quite some time for people to give him another shot. This was some of the worst managing I have seen in a very long time. I don't blame Manuel for every little thing that goes wrong with the Phillies. He isn't a great manager but I don't hate the guy and won't blame him for every loss. This was his fault, though. I find it hard for anyone in the world to argue with that.

It is only two games into the season and I am already depressed. Walking back to my car after the game, I was silent as I heard E-A-G-L-E-S chants over and over. Drunken college broads were running around the street like freakin' morons as I just sighed. Our bullpen is a serious issue. There won't be a Port-O-Potty joke from me here. This is quite too serious for that. We are in trouble Philadelphia. We were told all offseason that our starters were going to be great and that they would be the strength of our ballclub. How true this was, however, IF YOU CAN'T HOLD A FUCKING LEAD THEN WHAT GOOD IS IT AT ALL!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!

...I am sorry for cursing and there is so much more I want to say, but I honestly just don't have the energy. I am heading to the game this afternoon for more torture as I get to see Adam Eaton (possibly our biggest free agent signing of the Gillick era) try to not start 2007 exactly like 2006.

Godspeed Phillies Phaithful

The Climb to .500 Starts in Negadelphia

2007-04-04T00:25:00.000-04:00

Luckily it is only one 'W' needed to get up to that "we don't suck, but we aren't great" .500 mark. With the Flyers and Sixers out of any playoff picture and no action on the football front, it seems that yesterday's game has been analyzed more than Super Bowl XXXIX. Who was to blame? The offense? Bullpen? Manuel? Gillick? Pete Rose? Bottom line: It's over. Let's look to tonight's game for some payback.

But before we check out our chances for tonight, I want to share with the world a few statements I heard on the radio today while working at 610. These are very close to exact quotes:

"When does training camp start?"
"What was Madson thinking giving up that homerun ball?" I want you to know that he asked this question with all seriousness. He ACTUALLY wanted an answer to it.
"Get Rollins out of the lead-off spot. He struck out 3 times!" The way he said it, I believe he actually thinks Rollins will strike out 486 times.
"85 million dollars and Utley still can't get that run in." I get infuriated when people say anything negative about Chase.
"Big shock, Burrell struck out his first at-bat." Come on. Please give the guy more than an at-bat.

...I guess I should come to expect such statements like these. They still, however, always hit a nerve with me.

Tonight, Game 2

Starters: Tonight will feature two pitchers on the mound with something to prove. Cole Hamels will try to show everyone that his spring was just an adjustment period and that he can live up to the expectations we set for him. He faces off against Tim Hudson, who is trying to show Atlanta that last season was a rare occurrence and that he still has the stuff he had with Oakland.

Offense: Charlie said he he will stick with the opening day lineup that banged out 10 hits but only managed 3 runs. I'm willing to give this order some time to see how it produces. It tells Burrell that they have little faith in him to hit behind Ryan and may clog the bases in front of Utley, but if it starts putting up 6+ runs a night, I'll take it. I guess we'll see.
The Phillies will also have to not let Edgar Renteria beat them again...for the sake of my own sanity.

Notable: Manuel is in a very tough situation and I sort of feel bad for the guy. Everyone knows he isn't the best tactical manager out there, but Gillick has put him in a very difficult scenario for each game. For someone who hasn't been know for great bullpen-management, Charlie will have his hands full with the players he is given to work with. I'd put 20 dollars on a bet saying we see good old Geoff Geary tonight.

I'm skipping another class tonight to head out to the ballpark again. First college night AND first dollar dog night of the year. How can I miss that? By the way, Phillies baseball is not helping a developing case of senioritis.

As Always...

LETS GO PHILLIES!!!

My Opening Day Experience and Phillies Concerns

2007-04-03T00:23:00.000-04:00

Here is an account of my opening day experience for anyone who cares. More on the actual game is listed below.

April 2, 2007

6:30: My iPod wakes me up while the sun is still down. I am usually very grumpy and slow in the morning before work, but not today. The first pitch is a mere 6 and half hours away.

7:00: I get into my car and make my trek to work. I put on 610 and listen to Cataldi. He is his typical negative self, not seeing the beauty of Opening Day. He has a reporter at the stadium who interviews some fans who are already there, drinking beer and getting ready for the game. I am a proud fan at this moment.

7:30 - 10:30: I worked. It sucked.

10:30: At this point on a Monday, I usually head to good ol' LaSalle University for a class. Not today. I head back to my apartment and take a quick shower. My buddy, Pat, meets me at my place and we head to the ballpark. We do encounter a dilemma as we quickly realize that my refrigerator is void of beer. There is no time to stop, so we improvise. I grab the bottle of SoCo (pictured below) from the freezer and head off.

11:15: We pull into the parking lot and see a bunch of fans, young and old, hanging around. Wiffle ball, frisbees, footballs and beer pong are all around us. It is lovely. As we look for a spot, we notice that we are in Section V. We immediately thought of Vukovich. This is where we knew we had to park.

11:20 - 12:30: Tailgating activities ensued as my my other friend, Muller, arrives with a 30 of Miller.

12:30: We get into the stadium and notice a crazy amount of energy. I was at Opening Day last season and it was nothing like this. Everyone screams "VUUUUUUUK" when the tribute to him is played. "USA" chants start after the National Anthem.

1:05: Myers throws his first strike of the year. The crowd erupts. Baseball season is here.

1:05 - 4:00: You know what happened here. It's tough to say any game that doesn't end in a win is a fun game, but this was one of those cases. The team looked shaky at points but it was great to be screaming at a baseball game again. Heckling the Braves' fans was fantastic and chanting "MVP" again was amazing. Myers is a stud and I gave him the loudest applause I could when he walked off the field in the 8th inning. My one friend, who is a huge Burrell supporter, almost got into a fight with a fellow fan when he screamed "YOU SUCK" when Burrell was at bat. The little kid who is pictured below threw a piece of a pretzel at the braves fan pictured below. It was hilarious. I completely lost my voice and have a ridiculous sunburn. I had sunglasses on and I now look like a raccoon. All worth it.

4:30: I'm stuck in traffic heading back to City Ave. I have on Eskin but have to turn it off because the immense amount of negativity is killing me. The Deftones keep me company on the ride home...

Here are some more pictures I took of the day for all of those who couldn't make it:

And now a quick "what went wrong" with yesterday's game:

We knew coming into this season that Pat Gillick needed to fix our bullpen. He knew it, actually. But he did nothing about it. Signing Alfonseca was the most he did for it and that just wasn't going to get it done. Opening Day showed that our bullpen could be the death of our season. Manuel had to let Myers pitch the 8th because he has no faith in the relievers. Last season it was the starters who killed the bullpen. This season, the relievers may get their revenge on our rotation.

Getting 10 hits, 4 walks and only 3 runs is completely unacceptable. When you have second and third with no outs and the heart of the order up, you have to get at least one run in. That cannot continue.
16 MEN LEFT ON BASE!!!

11 strikeouts is way too much. 3 from Rollins was very surprising.

Those who booed Burrell almost got their asses beat. Also, one fan yelled "YEA. THERE'S YOUR 85 MILLION!!" at Utley after he grounded out. I almost had a heart attack.

Overall, the loss came due to untimely hitting and Manuel's reluctance to go to the bullpen. I can't blame him for this though. Gillick gave him little to work with and now Charlie has to find a way to keep leads with little help. It is just one game. Sure, winning the first one is great, but it is a LONG season. We can still go 161-1. I'm not worried
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yet

The Beauty of Opening Day

2007-04-02T00:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I have patiently waited over six months for baseball games to mean something in Philadelphia. And now, here on April 2, 2007, the Phillies will begin another 162 game campaign for a chance to play in October. During this stretch, I will break lamps in my house. I will hug strangers at the stadium. I may even fight a Mets' fan or two. The baseball season is always filled with moments of joy and depression. Moments where I slam the power off of the TV and yell "I'M NEVER WATCHING THESE BASTARDS AGAIN!" But then the next night, at 7:05, I am on my couch praying they can pull through. I can't even count how many times in my life I have not been able to watch a ninth inning without pacing around my kitchen. I wonder "Why do I put myself through this?" But once that strike three is called or that walk-off homer is hit, I know the answer.

Some don't understand what it is about baseball that we fans love so much. Sometimes I don't understand it. I've never been around a consistently winning baseball team as I have only seen the Phillies make the playoffs once in my entire life. But every April is a new beginning and a new chance to make up for what went wrong last year. So I will be at Citizens Bank Park today to watch the fighter jets fly by and to yell until I lose my voice. I will cheer when Myers throws his first strike of the season and when a Phillie gets the first hit. Because the only thing better than winning the first game of the season, is winning the last one of the post-season. Here's hoping.

Today
Brett Myers (0-0, 0.00)
vs
John Smoltz (0-0. 0.00)

The Phillies throw their best at the Braves' best. Two dominant righties who can control an entire game. I'll have a full report after the game on my first baseball experience of 2007 with pictures and other goodies.

As always...

LETS GO PHILLIES!!!

Opening Day Countdown: ONE DAY LEFT

2007-04-01T02:23:00.000-04:00

This is like Christmas Eve for Phillies fans. The night before opening day is always one of the hardest to get through. But tomorrow will bring a new season of baseball. The last of the countdown...

Monday: 7 players of concern
Tuesday: 6 reasons I love Chase Utley
Wednesday: 5 X factors
Thursday: 4 reasons the division title is ours
Friday: 3 gayest Mets
Saturday: 2 breakout performances to expect
Sunday: 1 biggest ass-munch on the team

The Number 1 Biggest Ass-munch on the Philadelphia Phillies

When I initially made this list, I wasn't quite sure who I should give this title too. People suggested Nunez, but that seemed too easy. I could always put Manuel, but it has been done so many times before. Adam Eaton has sucked during the spring, but I wanted to give him the month of April before I cast judgement. And I am sure I could pick out someone from the bullpen.
So I am here now, thinking of the 2007 Phillies' players and realize that I like everyone on the team. Sure, some are more talented and more likable than others, but overall I love this team and cannot wait to see them play 162 games. This Phillies team represents the rebirth of Philadelphia baseball. They have a new image, energy and personality that the city will fall in love with.
And I now realize that this is my last post before the season starts and I would hate to end the offseason on such a negative note by picking the biggest ass-munch we currently have. Therefore, to help usher in the new baseball season and begin a new era of Phillies baseball, I will give this title to the man responsible for the old era of Philadelphia baseball: Ed Wade

It has been over fifteen months and I still can't get over this guy. So congrats Mr. Wade, you finally won something in the city of Philadelphia.
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And one last pump-up picture to get us ready for the start of the season. One of the best ballparks in America and a place that we can all call home:

Opening Day Countdown: Part 6 - Breakouts

2007-03-31T00:16:00.000-04:00

The first game was played last night at Citizens Bank Park. And while the results weren't beautiful, the sound of bats and gloves in Philly was. Two days left. The countdown...

The 2 Breakout Performances to Expect

I want to preface these two listings by saying one thing. By "breakout," I mean according to what each player has done already in his career. So in the terms I am using this word, it would be possible for Ryan Howard to have a "breakout" season if he hit 90 homeruns and 234 RBIs. But I'm not that unrealistic.

Shane Victorino
This almost seems obvious to me. In limited time last season, Victorino showed Philadelphia that he can perform on an everyday level, not just as a fourth outfielder. Speed, defense and contact are the three main ingredients that Shane brings to the club. Along with this, are his intangibles. His main ones being the energy and excitement he brings to the field. Seeing a RF of Abreu for the half the year then seeing one with Victorino for the other half was quite a contrast. Over a full season, I expect Victorino to be just as much of a catalyst to the Phillies' offense as Jimmy Rollins. And if you read this blog on somewhat of a regular basis, you will already know that I am sort of obsessed with the guy. To read a more detailed and far more intelligent analysis of Shane and 2007, check out A Citizens Blog perspective on him.
Jimmy Rollins
Now you may be saying to yourself, "Rollins? Breakout? Didn't he already have a breakout season?" Yes, maybe he did. But I honestly do not think we saw the best of what J-Roll has to offer. He has talked a lot of shit this offseason and seems capable enough to back it up. He leads the Grapefruit league in OBP, which was one of his biggest (and only) flaws. If anyone wants this team to make it to October, it's him. And if anyone has the most influence in the locker room, it's him. And if ANYONE has the ability to make the Phillies the best lineup in baseball, it's him. His base stealing should improve due to Lopes, he is taking more walks this spring, he has shown he can hit for power, his defense is always solid, and he is showing he has the drive and determination to WANT to win. I understand that everyone thinks Rollins is a great player, I just don't think many see just how great he ACTUALLY is. After all, according to this page, he is our General.

The Daily pump-up picture is our breakout boys doing what they will do best this season: score runs...

Opening Day Countdown: Part 5 - Mets

2007-03-30T07:15:00.000-04:00

Only three days left. A measly weekend stands in the way of us and the start of the baseball season for Philadelphia. The countdown...

The 3 Gayest Mets

I have been looking forward to doing this post since the countdown started. If you're offended by me using the word "gay", then substitute the word "lame" or "most-hated" or "fairy, sparkling fanny bandit" whenever it comes up. Actually, just don't continue reading this post.

David Wright
I actually used to like the guy. But since the offseason rolled around and he began his pseudo-modeling career with Jose Reyes, I can't take this kid seriously anymore. What modeling career you ask? (I posted these a couple of weeks ago, but they are just too classic not to put up again)

Also, see David Wright talk about his workout routine at Men's Health.
Jose Reyes
See above. Need more proof? Okay:
Billy Wagner
I'm not even sure if I even need to write out an explanation for this one. Last Week, We Should Be GMs did a damn good job of pointing out his striking similarity to infant girls. Another fine example of his flamboyancies, when I typed "Billy Wagner" into Google's image search, this picture came up:

...that's the two guys from Wham!

The daily pump-up pictures are of Ryan Howard grazing two magazine covers. One being Philadelphia Magazine and the other being ESPN. No GQ or Men's Health for this deacon of heterosexuality. Only sports and Philly for Rhyno.

Opening Countdown: Part 4 - Division

2007-03-29T00:01:00.000-04:00

Four days left boys. I'm wearing Phillies red and ready to begin. I might start tailgating tomorrow. And on to the countdown...

The 4 Reasons the Division Title Belongs to Philadelphia

Well, this is one of those overly optimistic posts that should leave you all feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Or leave you all with a feeling that I'm an idiot...

What other team in the division has their own general?
None. We have one in Jimmy Rollins, however. He has stated multiple times that the Phillies are the team to beat. That doesn't guarantee a division, but Jimmy and every other teammate believes it and none are going to back down. No white flags this season. He is the leader we have needed for so long to get us over that huge freakin' hump. And in case you haven't noticed, his spring stats are incredibly encouraging.
The Mets are NOT as good as everyone thinks
There... I said it. They aren't. I'm not saying they suck or anything close to that, but they are not a 95+ win team. There lineup is the same as 2006, their bullpen is worse than 2006 and their rotation is nothing compared to 2006. Valentin won't hit nearly what he did last season. Alou and Green aren't the most reliable players. Their top 5 in the lineup, however, is horribly scary. It's not going to be easy against them, but it won't be complete domination on their part. It's the Braves we should truly worry about.
Age is on our side
Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, Brett Myers, Cole Hamels, Ryan Madson, Carlos Ruiz, Michael Bourn, Geoff Geary, Matt Smith, Adam Eaton, Jayson Werth, Greg Dobbs, Aaron Rowand. That is 15 players on the better side of 30. And while age doesn't make a player great, it does have its obvious advantages. Jamie Moyer, however, does sort of cancel out most of these players. (Players in blue are keys to the season)
The Law of Averages
This states "the view that eventually, everything evens out." Based on probability, it is only a matter of time before the Phillies win the division. We have been waiting very long and not so patiently for it to happen. Isn't it about time we get there? Don't we deserve it? 93 wins or bust...

And staying with the theme of 93, the pump up picture...

Opening Day Countdown: Part 3 - X Factors

2007-03-28T07:08:00.000-04:00

Five days left. That's roughly 120 hours until Brett Myers gets his first of, hopefully, many opening day starts. Onto the countdown...

~~Monday: 7 players of concern~~
~~Tuesday: 6 reasons I love Chase Utley~~
Wednesday: 5 X factors
Thursday: 4 reasons the division title is ours
Friday: 3 gayest Mets
Saturday: 2 breakout performances to expect
Sunday: 1 biggest ass-munch on the team

The 5 Phillies X-Factors

In February, I posted about what I thought the major X-Factors were going to be for the 2007 season. While those five listed then are still relevant, some things have changed over the past month.

Tom Gordon
He was the number one cause of concern on Monday and could be the biggest X-Factor. With the condition our bullpen is shaping out to be, Gordon going down with an injury would cause me to have a near stroke every 7th, 8th and 9th innings.
Pat Burrell
Another cause for concern player. I love the guy and honestly believe he will produce and come back with a 30/100 season. But if Howard struggles at the plate and Wes Helms' spring is just a fluke, Burrell will be responsible for knocking in some runs. Also, I listed him because when discussing this with my roommate, Muller, he called Burrell a Sex-Factor, which is just hilarious.
Shane Victorino
In his first full season, Shane is going to have to provide a lot to the Phillies. He will take over a position occupied by Abreu for the previous eight seasons and will have to become a productive 2-hole hitter. And if Rowand is traded or breaks his ass running into another wall/player, Victorino will be called upon to cover center field. I debated listing him because I literally have no doubt that he will produce. I love this dude.
Freddy Garcia
Brought to Philadelphia as a "sure thing" to give us 200 innings and take pressure off the bullpen, Garcia is starting to look more like Vicente Padilla than a reliable pitcher. If Freddy sucks or goes on the DL frequently, we will be less willing to use Lieber as trade bait. Also, Garcia better produce for the sanity of us fans. We gave Gio up for him and if Gonzalez goes onto become Johan Santana and Garcia goes on to be Kevin Millwood, how quickly will it be until Gillick is hung at City Hall?
J.A. Happ, Eude Brito, Fabio Castro, Joe Bisenius, Zach Segovia or Michael Bourn
Something tells me that at least one of these players will be called up this year and will (hopefully) shine.

The daily pump-up picture...

How many players in this picture are not still on the team? Michaels, Abreu, Pratt, Bell, Lofton, Padilla, Lieberthal, Martinez, and I think I see a little Tomas Perez afro.

Opening Day Countdown: Part 2 - Utley

2007-03-27T07:43:00.000-04:00

Six days left now. It is officially under a week until opening day. Continuing with the countdown...

~~Monday: 7 players of concern~~
Tuesday: 6 reasons I love Chase Utley
Wednesday: 5 X factors
Thursday: 4 reasons the division title is ours
Friday: 3 gayest Mets
Saturday: 2 breakout performances to expect
Sunday: 1 biggest ass-munch on the team

The 6 Reasons I love Chase Utley

You would think I would list the six reasons I love Ryan Howard, after all he is number 6. But Howard doesn't rank nearly as high to me as Utley does and I think Chase is a far superior player. So here they are.

He clearly hates the media
Well, maybe 'hate' is too strong of a word, but he isn't a Jimmy Rollins type of player who strives to be in the spotlight. Many might think it makes Utley arrogant or selfish for not wanting to indulge the media with every facet of his life. Not me, because guess what.... I hate the media too.
He hustles every single play
I was debating on whether or not to put this in here because we have heard it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many freakin' times. But I can't hide from the truth.
"My plan is to stay a Phillie for life"
He said this.
He saved my life
Last July, when the Phillies were giving away their players for scraps and we were told to wait until 2008, Chase and his 35 game hitting streak was the only thing keeping me away from a noose.
He is good looking
Now, before you call me gay, hear me out. His good looks attract plenty of female fans to the ballpark. This fills CBP with college girls (some of whom are decent looking) and gives me more opportunities to strike out with them. This is one of those "baseball intangibles" we often hear about.
When the Phillies are playing baseball deep into October...
He will be a major reason.

And the pump up picture for today...

...this is Utley attempting to kill someone for trying to steal second base. Utley owns second base.

The Opening Day Countdown

2007-03-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

Seven days and counting... And this will be the longest week of my life. Ever since Danny Sandoval committed an error allowing the Marlins to walk off with a win on October 1, I have been craving more Phillies baseball. Sure the Spring Training games somewhat satisfy me, but only as much as a fat girl can. Real games that mean something are right around the corner and to keep myself from going crazy, I have a little countdown/list/boredom-killer planned for the week.

Monday: 7 players of concern
Tuesday: 6 reasons I love Chase Utley
Wednesday: 5 X factors
Thursday: 4 reasons the division title is ours
Friday: 3 gayest Mets
Saturday: 2 breakout performances to expect
Sunday: 1 biggest ass-munch on the team

Today: Seven Players of Concern

Tom Gordon
Every good team should have a good closer. Someone to nail down a "W" in the ninth inning every time he (or 'she' in the case of Billy Wagner) is called upon. Gordon was good in the first half of 2006 then faltered after the break. A healthy Gordon will drastically improve the state of our crap-hole (see right)
Freddy Garcia
He may be the biggest acquisition of the Gillick-era and was brought here to be our "ace." Well, he isn't... Myers is. But he is still a very important key to our rotation. Will his velocity be an issue, is his health an issue, can he survive at CBP, will he give us 200 innings? The optimist in me says "yes." The pessimist isn't allowed to comment.
Adam Eaton
Another pitcher with injury concerns. I don't expect anything spectacular from Eaton, but multiple trips to the D.L. will be very damaging to the Phillies's staff.
Pat Burrell
He is my boy and I have always been a huge supporter of him. And while I still know he will have a monster season, he has been horrible at the plate this spring and needs to re-create 2005 or 2002 for us. Could you imagine a 3-4-5 core made up of a "2006-Utley", a "2006-Howard" and a "2002-Burrel"l?
Ryan Madson
A very important part of our bullpen. Struggled last season but we all gave him a free-pass because the Phillies used him like a cheap French whore. Will a full season used only the Port-O-Potty be beneficial to Ryan?
Aaron Rowand
Another hitter who can't make contact this spring. Rowand's play has been disastrous this past month. I love the guy (not nearly as much as half the city) but he will not be a fan favorite to me if he can't hit above .250. I don't care how many walls or players he runs into.
Charlie Manuel
He isn't a player but this should be self-explanatory. His bullpen management, ridiculous lineups and inability to know who to pinch-hit has cost the Phillies quite a few games the past two seasons. And we all know it is only a few games that have kept the Phillies out of the postseason. We need Manuel to step up his game. Don't count on it though.

And I will also post an awesome picture each day to pump us all up for the season:

The thoughts that are driving me mad

2007-03-22T21:28:00.000-04:00

It has been an eventful week for Phillies phans everywhere. Our 'pseudo-ace' went down with tightness, our 6th starter/relief pitcher is a bit disappointed with his situation, our future catcher is down because the poor baby was "feeling a little sore," and our port-o-potty is still... well... shitty. There isn't really one topic I think I can narrow down today, so I will just list the things that I can't get out of my head.

Why do I feel like we have a ton of options at catcher? And why is Werth always talked about as an option behind the plate? WE HAVE NO DEPTH IN THE OUTFIELD! Please don't make this man a catcher. Chris Coste anyone...
It has struck me as peculiar that Lieber will be the in bullpen. He is a starter, however, the circumstances require him to shift. But to what role? He is getting paid too much for long relief and the 6th and 7th belong to Madson/Geary/Smith. Set-up? Makes sense since we don't have diddly-poop there.
And sticking with the Lieber-shift, I am sick and tired of hearing the Phillies front office and psycho Manager talk about what it takes for someone to be in the bullpen: "He throws strikes" is all I hear. Is that really all it takes to be in a Major League bullpen? So let me get this straight, relievers throw strikes and starters throw...what...balls?
Pat Burrell has been wretched. He looked ugly at the plate yesterday striking out 3 times in 4 at bats. Of course, this is Spring Training and once the season starts, he will bat .450 with a .770 OBP.
If you add up our left fielder and center fielder's batting averages, they still don't equal that of our right fielder.
Opening Day cannot come soon enough

Also, for a hilarious bashing of a fellow blogger, click here and read Corey rip Carson a new asshole.

I am here to help take your mind off the pain

2007-03-21T23:13:00.000-04:00

I had a very nice post lined up for today that talked about the different scenarios that could come up this season concerning Jon Lieber, the bullpen and the trade market. That has been scratched. If you are a Phillies fan, you know why...

Okay... So... Garcia is temporarily out with elbow stiffness. The length of the injury (as of midnight, Thursday) is uncertain. Also, our young catcher with some promise was also scratched from last nights game. I am not here to cry about this situation or predict a horrible 2007 season. I am here to attempt to keep your spirits high. I have three things to say:

We have considerable depth at both positions. If Garcia starts on the DL, Lieber can step up. If Ruiz starts on the DL, Coste can fill in. Both are possible step-downs, however, both will still give us chances to win games.
Both injuries could be nothing. Garcia had stiffness and Ruiz had soreness. There was no mention of the words "pop" "crack" "snap" "tear" "tommy john" or "erectile dysfunction." Any mention of those words could be very bad...especially the last one.
Carmen Electra...

I hope Carmen and I helped to ease the pain. If you are a religious man, pray for the best...

Consistently Inconsistent

2007-03-20T22:13:00.000-04:00

"Consistently Inconsistent." This phrase has been used a countless number of times to describe the Phillies' play throughout a season. It is also one of the truer statements you can use when talking about the Phightins. They go on ridiculous hot streaks (May 2006, June 2005) that make you realize why you are a baseball fan. And of course, they go on those cold streaks (All of June 2006, the year 2000) that force your mother to tape up your wrists so you won't damage yourself. Slow starts are painful, slower finishes could be even worse. Injuries can kill your season and poor coaching is never something that a team wants to deal with. These are all ways to help ensure a difficult path to October, however, playing inconsistent baseball throughout an entire season is unbelievably demoralizing and incredibly difficult to get over.

What has made me think of this? Well, let me answer that question with another one... Where has our offense gone?

The first ten games of the spring, the Phillies offense scored five or more runs every game. They average 7.7 runs per game. It was encouraging because it is known that the Phillies offense should be in the top of the league. They stayed on a relatively high-scoring path the next six games, then fell off the last five. In that most recent stretch, the Phillies offense has averaged 2.2 runs a game after being shut-out last night by freakin' Yankees. Howard isn't hitting anything, Burrell has fallen off and Rowand doesn't know how to swing a stick anymore. Where did the bats go? Thank God for Victorino, Rollins and Utley.

This isn't a cry for help for the Phillies offense. The lineup is probably our strongest point this season and will give us plenty of leads that hopefully the Port-O-Potty can hold. This just got me thinking that the biggest non-roster related issue with Phillies should be to play consistent baseball... consistently winning baseball. If they can somehow manage that (above .500 ball each month), I'll print my playoff tickets tomorrow.
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And yes, I know. Spring stats mean nothing, blah blah blah. I'm just bored.

Jon Lieber...The Next Ryan Franklin?

2007-03-19T22:21:00.000-04:00

Remember Ryan Franklin? Of course you do. He was the big free agent signing of 2007. When the Phillies were starved for starters, Gillick worked his magic, let Padilla go for nothing and signed this old friend of his. No one was happy but we were all willing to wait it out and see if he could produce in the National League. All we read about was how his record was so poor due to his lack of run-support on the Mariners (I believe he lead the league). The Phillies brass also shoved the "he is a workhorse who will give you 200-plus innings" down our throat. We tried to overlook his horrid 5+ ERA and put the fact that he is a fly-ball pitcher in the back of our minds. We were patient and hopeful. His spring stats with the Phillies would further boast our optimism. We knew we didn't have gold on our hands, far from it actually...but we all hoped he could give us a chance to win every night he threw the ball. Our offense was massive enough to give him the run-support he needed to rack up some W's. We weren't asking for a Cy Young candidate.

So there it was. A 4th or 5th starter with the ability to help our team win every 5th game. And what happened? Franklin, a pitcher who spent roughly 3/4 of his career starting games, was sent to the bullpen, something he hasn't done in over four years. And I don't need to remind anyone reading this how that experiment ended. He struggled...and it wasn't for the better because his replacement, Gavin Shit, sucked just as bad as him.

And where are we two weeks before the 2007 season starts? Back in 2006, with talks of putting one of two starters who can give you a chance to win every 5th day in the Port-O-Potty. I don't know if this is the right move or the wrong one, but I cannot sit here and be comfortable that this will work. I have always considered myself a very optimistic person, especially when it comes to the Phillies. I give our owners, GMs and players every chance to make something work. This has me on edge, however, because history has shown us that an experiment like this may not work. And it isn't ancient history either, it was almost exactly one year ago.

Gillick won't trade Lieber without getting back what he feels is a "fair trade." I also want a "fair trade," but Gillick must understand that Jon Lieber isn't a name that makes teams say Hallelujah. You want to hear something that will make you come close to vomiting? It is entirely possible that we will get more back from Jon Lieber than we did for Bobby Abreu. The best thing we got from Abreu (so far that has produced in the Majors) is Matt Smith. Gillick is clearly asking for a better player than Smith. How sick does that make you? Jon "I pulled my hamstring running from the mound to first base last season because I am a fat, out-of-shape shit" Lieber might get us more than Bobby "I am one of the best outfielders the Phillies have ever seen" Abreu. I can't even write anymore about this...

P.S. I will gladly eat these words if I am proved wrong and a transition is successful. I'd rather be wrong than right on this scenario. I have no problem admitting when I was dumb and I pray I am the one making a mistake here, not the Phillies.

The SPRING in Myers' Step

2007-03-18T21:35:00.000-04:00

The Bullpen is still very Port-O-Pottyish and will only get me frustrated if I write about it. So the other part of our pitching ensemble, the rotation, will be the focus of today's conversation. After watching Sunday's game, I was inspired and extremely impressed by Myers' 6 innings of domination and thought that he and the other 4 (err..5?) should be the focus of today. After all, they are our biggest reason for optimism, right?

What the boys did thus far this spring...

Brett Myers
11.2 IP
13 K's
5 BB
3.09 ERA

Cole Hamels
9 IP
5 K's
5 BB
7.00 ERA

Freddy Garcia
7.2 IP
2 K's
5 BB
9.39 ERA

Jamie Moyer
14.1 IP
10 K's
5 BB
2.51 ERA

Adam Eaton
6.2 IP
5 K's
1 BB
4.05 ERA

And for good measure...
Jon Lieber
6.0 IP
5 K's
1 BB
1.50 ERA

So if spring stats were an actual indicator for the future, we can determine that Lieber will win the Cy Young, Jamie Moyer is 25, Cole Hamels is the same thing as Gavin Floyd and that trading Gio Gonzalez for Freddy Garcia was the worst trade since swapping Polanco for Urbina. So the fact that Garcia and Hamels look like they belong in our bullpen shouldn't be a cause for panic. Garcia's velocity is an issue but all 6 of these pitchers belong in a Major League rotation and we should be thankful they are in ours.

And everyone, meet your opening day starter:

Manuel for some reason is playing little kiddy games with the world and is withholding the starter for opening day. Why? The only reason I can give on why our manager would be doing this is "He IS Charlie Manuel." If Myers does stay on this schedule and pitch every 5 days, however, he will be ready to go on April 2. And aside from him being our best pitcher, he deserves it. Garcia isn't an ace anymore and has been here only 4 months. Hamels still needs to develop and it would be putting way too much pressure on a 23 year old. Moyer and Eaton are both 4 and 5's. And if we do keep Lieber, does anyone want to relive April 3, 2006 again? Brett Myers is thinner than last season and seems to finally have his priorities (pitching) together. He will dominate on the 2nd. Over the past 2 seasons, he has earned the title of ace.

I also love the attitude of Myers. He is cocky and somewhat of a hot-head on the mound, which is exactly what an ace needs. When asked about facing the Devil Rays he responded "I was tricking them. My curve was brutal." Phillies.com said he was being hard on himself but I read it as "My curve was the best thing since sliced bread. I was destroying those pussies." At least I hope that is how he meant it. Here is Myers inadvertently telling Wagner he is a queer who couldn't last in Philadelphia.

And here is how I believe the rotation should shape up:

Myers
Garcia
Hamels
Eaton
Moyer

Splitting up Myers and Garcia might be a good idea, but I'd rather Hamels go up against other teams' number 3's instead of 2's. And the reason for not pitching Myers and Garcia back to back was to split up the hard-throwing righties, but is Freddy still considered a hard-throwing pitcher. Has he hit 90mph yet?

Still though, I'm not worried about our starters. It's the guys chilling in here that worry me:

...and I should note, that is a drunken midget peeing on the Port-O-Potty.

St Pattys Rant

2007-03-18T03:04:00.000-04:00

It is a little after 3 in the moring, I just got home from a st. patty's celebration and i want to tell the world the few things that are on my mind

The Phillies are cooler than the Mets, who suck
Yuengling is better than the mets, who suck
Chase Utley is better than you
You are better than manuel
I just got the new "mens health" (Im gay I know) and David Wright is on the cover. I quickly burned it and threw it off the Walt Whitman
I wish Moyer was my father
5, 6, 8, 11, 26, 35, 38 are the best numbers to watch for this season
Carson sucks for making the fantasy draft the morning after st. Patricks day. seriously though, who does that???????????????????

Also i do not like how everyone thinks they are irish on March 17, when they are clearly italian or mexican or german or australian (bloodstripes) or something else. Take off your "kiss me i'm Irish" shirt because you're ugly and no one loves you. Leprechauns are not real

A Picture, A confession & A Prediction

2007-03-15T23:06:00.000-04:00

The Picture:

...found on Phillies.com as the header for the Hall of Fame Club Seating Section. If the picture is too small, click on it to get a better look at Rowand's face.

The Confession:

...While I listened to the game on the radio last night, Hamels' second consecutive poor outing almost made me cry. I guess since I just assume that he is so invincible, my world gets turned upside down when he shows signs of being human. Up was Down, Left was Right, Gavin Floyd was my father. It was scary.

The Prediction:

...By May, there will be a significant trade. I won't say by opening day since injuries are a concern and we should see how this team fares in the first month. If, however, they stumble, Gillick will not be a seller this year. The moves made in the offseason are evident that Pat is going for a win-now attitude in 2007. This is not a rebuilding stage for Philadelphia Baseball. The team now is good, but the few holes we have may be too big to ignore. Bottom-line: I'll say it again, our bullpen looks like the inside of a Port-O-Potty.

On this site, until it is fixed, the Philadelphia Phillies' bullpen will be now known as "the Pen-O-Potty." Or maybe "the Port-O-Philly?" I can't decide which is better. Or which is worse...

How to truly promote the Phillies

2007-03-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I was looking over the Press Release regarding the 2007 Phillies promotions schedule. And while some are nice and would easily entice me to go to a game (Shane Victorino Hula Skirt Figurine Night...), I thought I would make up some of my own.

Easter Egg Night
This isn't as gay as it sounds. Every fan gets half a dozen red-painted Easter eggs and during the 7th inning stretch is allowed to throw them at any player on the field. No Phillies players are to be hit with the exception of Abraham Nunez, our manager and whatever bullpen member is horribly sucking at the time...this player would be Arthur Rhodes last season. This date should be held on April 16. It may be 8 days after Easter, but it is against the Mets. I would have a field day with Reyes.
Heidi Strobel Bikini Fun Day
I first mentioned Bikini Fun Day back in February and still think it would be an amazing event for Citizens Bank Park to hold. What is Bikini Fun Day? Simple... it is a day where ladies can come to the Bank and have fun in their bikinis. And of course, Cole's new wife would have to be present promoting all the various aspects of bikini fun. Sprinklers will be provided. This day of fun can be on Thursday, July 26 at 1:05 during the hot days of summer.
Pat Burrell AIDS Test Night
Well... I don't really have to explain the reasoning behind this one, do I? We all know of Pat's uncanny ability to pull in any piece of tail he wants. It is quite impressive. And while I am sure he is never a fool and wraps his tool, AIDS is still out there. Every Fan entering the park on this day will get a free AIDS test to let them know that Burrell cares about his manlihood.
Charlie Manuel Bobble Stomach Giveaway
Sure, the Shane Victorino Hula Skirt thing will be fun. But how great will an eight inch figurine of Charlie Manuel be, where his fat old stomach shakes and bobbles like the bowl of jelly it is? Fun for all ages and can also be used as a educational tool for the young ones. Parents can show their kids that no one ever wants to grow up and look like this. It will promote diet and exercise and can help keep America beautiful...not fat.

...I'm heading to the Phillies front office tomorrow to make sure these promotions happen for the good of this country, particularly the Phillies phan base.

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure

2007-03-13T22:09:00.000-04:00

And for once, it is the Phillies who are getting to experience a treasure chest. The saying presented in the title basically says that if their is something crappy for one party, another party can still reap the benefits of it. In the case of the Phillies, I am talking about the injury concerns for their N.L. East rivals. These injuries and instanced are a few days old, but still relevant. And I should note that I wish injury on no one (except maybe Gavin Floyd). I am just simply looking at the positives of everything.

Mike Hampton
I considered him the sleeper in the Division and said that a comeback year from him would equal a comeback year for the Braves. But as reported last week, Hampton experienced extreme pain in a batting practice and will have to be sidelined until at least May. This is vital to the Phillies for a few reasons. For one, they will not have to see Hampton the opening week and month of the season. Second, this delays Mike's return and progress which will further hurt the Braves as the season goes on.

Josh Johnson
The number 2 starter for the Marlins will be out for at least 2 months with nerve irritation. Johnson did excellent last season and would have progressed this year, but is now a huge setback for the team. And since the Phillies play the Fish 6 times in April, that bodes well for our chances against them. No Johnson in the rotation is a good thing for any competitor

Guillermo Mota
This happened awhile ago, but Mota was suspended 50 games for violation of the steroid policy. That is 50 games the Mets will have to find someone to fill a void in their bullpen. Last season, he posted a solid 1.00 ERA for the Mets and was a partial reason to why they had such an outstanding bullpen. The Mets are still a dangerous force and still have one of the game's best pens, but this isn't something any team wants to deal with.

Duaner Sanchez
Another key piece to the Mets' bullpen. Word from Mets camp is that all is good in the hood, but I wasn't shedding tears when I heard that their was turmoil going on between the two concerning Sanchez's rehab. In 49 games last season, Sanchez posted another solid ERA of 2.60 before getting injured by a dumbass drunk driver. Another thing to note here, it is possible that Duaner won't be as solid as he was last season due to injury concerns, which would further weaken a very strong bullpen.

Alay Soler
Soler just got released from Mets camp yesterday after a poor spring. Nothing major here but it doesn't pain me to see that the Mets didn't strike lightening in a bottle with this kid. Their rotation is an absolute mess.

Washington Nationals
...Just an unfortunate team that seems to be in absolute shambles

And one last unfortunate event that, of course, no one benefited from: the passing of John Vukovich. His funeral was yesterday right here in South Jersey. I wish I could have gone to pay my respects...

Lock and Key?

2007-03-13T01:17:00.000-04:00

This rant started on the We Should Be GM's comment section then continued when I wrote a diary on The Good Phight. It is about Matt Smith, and while he is probably not high up on the list of things to be really concerned about for 2007, I want to express my distaste for people saying that Matt Smith is a "lock" for the bullpen. Due to laziness and my need for sleep, I will just copy/paste my post from the Good Phight...

A lot of relievers are struggling this spring. It isn't cause for panic just yet, since there are still 3 weeks until opening day. But one reliever has got me thinking: Matt Smith.

He was said to be the best thing we got out of the Abreu trade and looked good last year for the Phillies. During the offseason, when talks about our need for arms in the bullpen arose, Smith was considered a lock to be our 'lefty specialist.' I never gave it much thought until now (and it's possible that if he wasn't struggling with an ERA in the 16's, I wouldn't be thinking about this at all), but should Smith be our main southpaw out of the pen?

To guarantee someone with only 20.2 innings pitched in his entire career a spot in a major league bullpen seems a bit extreme. Sure he pitched really well for both us and the Yankees, but if I recall correctly, Chris Coste did a hell of a job last season and he is guaranteed a spot in 2007. Also, Smith only pitched 8.2 innings in Philadelphia. And while he was great for us, the two earned runs he gave up in 2006 were against left-handed hitters. Not so great for a man called upon just to get lefties out. And I do understand that it was a small sample size.

I am willing to give him a chance and I completely understand the need for solid (lefty) arms in our incredibly shotty bullpen. But should Matt Smith get a free pass due to the 20.2 innings he pitched in his entire career? If he continues to have a horrible Spring, should Smith still be in our bullpen? Or will he just be there because we simply have nothing better?

I am probably just making a big deal out of nothing and hopefully he will succeed for us. I just hope the best possible players break camp in April because as of right now, our bullpen looks the inside of a Port-O-Potty. And Gordon's suspect trip up north isn't helping.

And because I don't like depressing or negative posts, here is a very funny picture to brighten our days...

...best bathroom ever.

My Man-Crush on Shane Victorino/Caption Contest

2007-03-12T00:07:00.000-04:00

I am really no in the mood to discuss trade rumors that won't amount to anything. And talking about our horrid bullpen will only make me depressed. So I want to further express my (hetero-) love for our only American Phillie not born in the Continental United States: Shane "I am the coolest dude ever" Victorino.

Spring Training is basically meaningless. I actually just got into a squabble with a female friend of mine who happens to be a Yankees fan. She was trying to get under my skin by saying the Phillies sucks because they are 5-7 and the Yankees are 8-2. I told her she is a "dumb Yankee snob" and then showed her my pimp hand...no one talks trash on the Phillies!! And all while Spring Training rarely shows how good a player truly is or how good a team actually will be, watching (or in this case listening) to Victorino's play has been quite a treat.

We all know about him: Great arm, Great speed, Great on defense, A lot of heart, A lot of hustle, Hawaiian...there is very little to NOT like about his character and ability to play the game. But look at his stats thus far: 9 games, 29 at bats, 7 runs, 13 hits, 2 doubles, 2 stolen bases, 1 strikeout, .448 AVG. Simply amazing. We can't expect this ALL year but it is becoming apparent that Victorino is going to be a huge factor in the Phillies playoff push. If he does over a full season what he did when he was covering Rowand's reckless ass last year, I'll be satisfied. I honestly expect a remarkable season though.

I say over .300 with 13 homeruns and 60+ RBIs. He is still two years from his 'prime' and if last season and this Spring is any indicator of our future with this man, I see great things. As important as a leadoff hitter is, so is a good man for the 2-hole. Someone who makes contact and can move the runner. With Rollins and Victorino on the bases, pitchers will undoubtedly have a tough time focusing on Utley and Howard. Shane is a key component for the Phillies in 2007 and beyond. I don't ever want to hear trade rumors involving him.

Sidenote: He will not steal that many bases this season. Not because he isn't fast or sucks at it. It is just illogical for someone to steal second in front of a left-handed Utley.
Two reasons:
- It takes the hole away on the right side of the infield, thus taking away an advantage for Utley to pull the ball
- Consider this scenario: Rollins pops up, Victorino singles, Victorino steals 2nd, Utley strikes out. Guess who isn't getting pitched to next?

My Shane prediction of 2007: hits for the cycle

My Shane nickname: Volcanarino...a mix of Volcano and Victorino AKA the most cleverest thing ever!
Other names suggested by my roommate/team member, Muller: Hawaiian Gold, Pineapple Punisher, Volcano Penis (I didn't get that one), the Pacific Pounder, the Sandy Speedster, the Tanned Torpedo, the Maui Madman, the Honolulu Horror, Volcanic ASHole, and of course..."Fuck Alaska" Victorino. I would love to hear Harry Kalas use that one on a homerun call.

The Shane Victorino Caption Contest

What is he saying to this lucky fan that is making her so happy? I hope someone can top Corey's response in our last Caption Contest. If you're clever, leave it below.

300

2007-03-10T02:17:00.000-05:00

I always try my best to keep everything on this site strictly about the Phillies. With the exception of my Rubik's Cube rant and pictures of Carmen Electra, I think I do just that. Today, however, I will say one quick thing that is not Phillies related, but everyone should hear:

GO SEE 300!

Trust me...

Why is SIX afraid of SEVEN?

2007-03-08T20:54:00.000-05:00

There is a lot to be happy about going into the 2007 season. Our pitching seems to be stellar, our offense is tops in the league and the attitude is exuberant. While all of this is great, there is an aspect of our team that I feel is being overlooked by many. Remember that black hole the past two years? It was that feeling we all got deep in stomach after our sixth man in the lineup batted. We all knew what came next: David Bell, Mike Lieberthal, pitcher. Bell might have been good in 2004 and Lieberthal is probably one of the Phillies' best catchers ever. But in 2005 and 2006, we all knew that if the top of our lineup did not get it done, we were screwed by the end. Not this year...

Here is a question for you all: How many double plays did Bell hit into the past two years?
- 24 in 2005, 2nd most in the NL
- 18 in 2006, 9th most in the NL
And I don't hate David Bell, but he seemed to constantly be the ultimate rally killer. And he ran like a fairy.

Lieberthal was no better and while he didn't ground into nearly as many double plays, he wasn't the best at merely getting on base and turning the lineup over. His speed, along with Bell's, also was a huge cause for concern for the bottom of lineup. It wasn't easy for pitchers to move them along with a bunt and they always clogged up the bases if Jimmy came up after them.

Phillies pitching (including bullpen) hit for a whopping average of .091 with ZERO homeruns and 11 RBI's. We shouldn't expect too much from pitchers when it comes to offense, but this is downright disgusting. They also struggled getting down a bunt when they needed to with 29 sacrifice hits. All in all, the last three hitters were always cause for panic.

But it is a new year now which brings new hope and light to a recent hole of darkness. At our seventh slot this summer, either Rowand or Helms will be hitting. Both whom I'd pick in a heartbeat over David Bell. Rowand has the speed that Bell didn't have and Helms has the power. Actually, both have more power and should easily be considered an improvement. Rowand has come up with some key hits with the Phillies in 2006 and Helms seems to have finally found his swing this late in his career.

Our catcher will once again be hitting 8th and, once again, should be an improvement over Lieby. Barajas is best known for what he brings on defense, however, just a few years ago he did hit 21 homeruns. The scariest thing about him, however, is his horrid OBP. Only once in his entire career did he have an OBP over .300...and that total was .306. He doesn't hit for a high average and doesn't walk nearly as much as you would like an eight-hole hitter to. The main reason for optimism here is Ruiz. I thoroughly believe he is going to become our everyday catcher by the end of the year and will be at least average with the bat, which after all is all I would like to see. His speed, while not great, is also far superior to that of lieberthal and that fat bastard Fasano. (pictured above)

And finally, our pitchers should be much improved this season. I bolded 'should' because this spring training, we have heard talks on stressing fundamentals and improving the pitchers offense. The least we can ask for is a freaking sacrifice bunt when it is called upon. To ensure this, we all know of the coaching changes Gillick made. Hopefully it pays off.

Overall, the key to a good lineup is balance. Great 3-4-5 hitters are wonderful, but what happens if neither of those guys can get it done? The Phillies have had one of the most explosive offenses in the National League the past 2 years, however, most of this was due to the top of our lineup. Imagine how good this team can be if our 1 through 8 hitters ALL hit and not just 1 through 6.

And the answer to the title of this post: Because Seven Eight(ate) Nine. GET IT?!?!

I DID IT!!!!

2007-03-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Awhile ago I posted about how my life was overtaken by a rubik's cube and that I was going to go crazy until I solved it. Well...

TAKE THAT DR. RUBIK YOU ABSENT-MINDED JACKASS!!!!!

...My life is complete

Opening Day

2007-03-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

I have been in Atlantic City the past two days raking in tons of cash from chumps at the poker tables...spring break is great. Due to this, I have no time today to make an intelligent post (some may think I never do). So instead I will just show you all something that will make your mouths water. And it isn't Carmen Electra:

You are now looking at the first win of a wonderful season
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and for good measure:

Philadelphia would win in a spelling contest

2007-03-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

There is so much to talk about in regards to the Phillies. I could speak on Hamels and his workout routine or Lieber pitching good against the Reds. Dobbs is the hot story thus far and Victorino is hitting the cover off the ball. I could talk about how much Burrell means to the Phillies or how Davy Lopes is helping out Vic and Rollins. Then there is always the bullpen debacle that needs to be sorted out and the always interesting trade rumors that circulate everyday. Well, I personally think a lot of the sites listed to the right are doing a great job at discussing this all so I will try to broach a new subject. It is something that I loathe with every essence of my innner-being. Fans (I will not call them PHans) chanting "E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES" at Phillies games.

It won't be long before the games start up again at Citizens Bank Park and we as true PHans have to endure this moronic football chant at a baseball game. The chant alone is fine...after the Eagles fight song plays...at an EAGLES game. Sure, go ahead. Spell out the team name all you want. But at a Phillies game is just plain ridiculous. You wouldn't go to a Spielberg movie and chant "S-C-O-R-S-E-S-E SCORSESE" if you didn't like the ending, would you? You don't go to Burger King and chant "W-E-N-D-Y-S WENDYS" if your whopper is over-cooked, do you? Then why on Earth do some people insist on chanting "E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES" at a Phillies game when the Phillies start to lose? All that shows me is that those fans only enjoy a team when they are winning and not at any other time. Bandwagon is the exact definition of them. They chant EAGLES because the Birds have been the best team in the city over the past few years. And when the Phillies don't play so well, these idiots start to root for a winning team that ISN'T EVEN IN SEASON!!!!

Look, I like the Eagles. I am not nearly as psycho about them as most people in this town are, but I root for them every sunday they play and get upset when they constantly loose in the playoffs. But just because I am an Eagles fan, does not warrant me to chant them at a Phillies game. Same as how I like Wendys AND Burger King. And while Scorsese is way better than Spielberg, I enjoy Steven's films as well. Fans may be able to come up with good reasoning for booing certain players, but no one can come up with a legitimate reason why it O.K. to root for the Eagles when the Phillies aren't playing up to expectations.

I have a confession to make. When I was young, dumb and still in high school, I used to think it was cool to chant EAGLES in parking lots while tailgating for concerts. I saw that a lot of people joined in and it seemed like a fun thing to do. I have grown now and seen the error of my ways. Sure it may have seemed cool at the time...but so did this:

I know we shouldn't be so concerned with player's feelings. They make millions of dollars to play a kid's game and we shouldn't have to cater to their emotions. But does anyone honestly think that chanting for another team in this city makes our players really want to win a game if the other team just took the lead? No...we should always root for our team, but at the right stadium.

So please, if you see this man this summer at Citizens Bank Park, join me in kicking his ass.

I was also looking through the Phillies mailbag last night and came across three VERY dumb questions. I just thought I'd share them with you:

What will the Phillies' record be and where will they finish in the National League standings? Will they win the division, Wild Card or miss out on the postseason?
-- Drew P., Boothwyn, Pa.

Like anyone knows the answer to this. What kind of response was Drew looking for? By the way: 93 wins

Why didn't the Phillies sign Ryan Howard to a multiyear deal? Should we expect him to be playing somewhere else after this season? I'm really worried.
-- Barry L., Harrisburg, Pa.

Barry, aside from being dumb, is probably a pussy. "I'm really worried"...quit crying

Whatever became of Randy Wolf?
-- Bill M., New Orleans, La.

If you have access to the internet, why waste your time and energy writing Ken Mandel this question? Google the words "Randy Wolf" jackass

Thoughts on the First Televised Game of the Year

2007-03-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

Wow. It was a beautiful sight. Warm sunny weather with palm trees all around. Fans drinking beer while watching a game. Harry Kalas talking about the Phightins. The first televised game of the year was something I have been looking forward to since pitchers and catchers reported down to Clearwater. I woke up at 12:45 (it was a late night on Saturday) and turned on channel 200 to catch Phillies baseball in all its high definition glory. Here are my thoughts as I watched the game.

The Sarge may be a nice guy and all. I like him. He was a great Phillie and knows what he is talking about. He, however, doesn't know how to say it very well. Sorry Gary, broadcasting is NOT your thing. Thank Jesus for Harry.
In the 1 minute segment where Burrell was interviewed about how his foot was feeling, he looked SO hungover. I loved it.
Staying with Burrell, he looked real good running from first to third on Helms LONG single. It was nice to see him being aggressive on the basepaths. His double, besides from being a nice piece of hitting, was also good running. He obviously realized that my Grandmother throws better than Damon and that he could easily get to second. A monster season lies ahead.
I am already horribly sick of the 'Goosebumps' commercials. The marketing staff better roll out some better ads to air during the season.
Jason Werth looks like a taller version of Chase Utley from far away. A taller, far less athletic, far less awesome version of Utley. How dare he try to steal Utley's facial hair style!
It was depressing to see how many fans left halfway through the game. When I went down to Clearwater 2 years ago, I wouldn't think twice about leaving early. Those sorry ass excuses for fans disgust me.
Hamels looked real sharp today. The wind helped him a bit with Giambi's first at-bat, but he was taking care of the Yankees.
I hate the Yankees

Also, want to know how straight Pat Burrell is?

He doesn't even slap Howard on the ass like most baseball players do. He hits his back. What a manly man...

A lot of People Suck

2007-03-03T00:57:00.000-05:00

This article enraged me. Actually, the writing was fine, it was the content in it which made me see some of the disgusting scumbag shitheads that are in this world. The late Cory Lidle's estate, AKA his wife Melanie, is being sued by some dickwad dentist for 'sever damage' done to his apartment when Cory's plane crashed into it. Let me preface my next statements by saying that I am ignorant to the law and do not know much of it. I've never studied law nor do I understand much about lawsuits.

That said, there is nothing moral or right about a RICH...let me say that again...RICH doctor suing a widow who just lost her husband 5 months ago in a tragic and unexpected ACCIDENT...let me say that again...ACCIDENT!!! I don't even have anything logical or planned to write here. I am just upset that people in this world are willing to try anything to get another buck. By the way, he is suing Mrs. Lidle for 7 million dollars. Rosenthal, the dentist, also sued a dating-book author a few years ago for saying that he sucks at his profession. I also want to add that Rosenthal has such patients as Donald Trump, Bruce Springsteen and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Basically, he isn't one of those struggling dentist you see by the freeway begging for your change.

Courtesy of Seinfeld: "What do you call a doctor who failed out of Med school?... A Dentist" This man has made me an 'anti-dentite.'

Want more cases of Jackasses in this world? Sure you do...

THESE ARE THE GAYEST PICTURES I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!! And again to quote Seinfeld: "Not that there is anything wrong with that." David Wright can say all he wants about J-Roll running his mouth and talking a lot of smack. This may all be true. Jimmy may be cocky, but at least he doesn't take cocks in the ass from a teammate wearing a Jimmy-hat. (I personally thought that was clever)

THE METS ARE GAY...and these pictures are proof. Now I know the division is ours. There is no way our boys are gonna take it from these two fanny-bandits.

And here is another gay Met from the past...

...the world is becoming a sad sad place to be. Also, I should note that I am not homo-phobic so don't think I am a horrible person. I just hate the Mets.

lager

2007-03-01T00:30:00.000-05:00

After a full night of drinking (I am still in college afterall), I want to share what is on my Phillies mind.

- Howard was walked before Burrell tonight in the Exhibition 'exhibition game,' and what did Burrell do...
Double down the line to score Howard from first. Yes it was only against a college team, however, I see this as an omen of things to come in 2007.

- Watching ESPN at the bar tonight, I saw baseball scores scrolling across the bottom of the screen. It was a BEAUTIFUL sight.

- J.A. Happ has his own blog called "What's HAPPening." Very clever title. Maybe I'll try to get a link on there...and fail miserably

- Utley hit a homerun tonight because he is the second coming of Jesus...

- IT IS AMAZING TO BE TALKING ABOUT BASEBALL GAMES AGAIN!

...sorry if what I just typed sounded uneducated or dumb. Yuengling is my favorite friend.

P.S. - Funny sidenote. There was a game called QUIZO played at the bar I went to tonight. You get in teams and answer dumb questions. The most clever team name I heard tonight: "Ellen DeGeneres' favorite thing about the Oscars was going down on the red carpet." Geniuses if you ask me.

2007 MLB Preview Review - Part 3: Sporting News

2007-02-27T20:50:00.000-05:00

My third preview magazine pickup is the Sporting News edition. The Acme I went to unfortunately didn't have the Ryan Howard cover shown to the right. The only one they sold had Derek Jeter and Jose Reyes on the cover. Needless to say I was upset with that particular supermarket and obviously egged it later that night.

American League Power Poll

Twins
Tigers
Yankees
Red Sox
White Sox
Angels
Indians
Athletics
Blue Jays
Mariners
Rangers
Royals
Orioles
Devil Rays

National League Power Poll

Mets
Phillies
Cardinals
Dodgers
Padres
Braves
Astros
Cubs
Marlins
Diamonbacks
Brewers
Reds
Giants
Pirates
Rockies
Nationals

The cover of the National League section has a full page photo of Chase holding a ball looking fierce and angry. The blurb under the Phillies says that "Having Ryan Howard anchoring the lineup is nice and all, but the reason to love this team (and think they have a shot to win it all) is the rotation, which could be the best in the N.L." Kind of gives me goosebumps.

Notes about this issue that should interest phans:

Freddy Garcia pitches to the scoreboard, not the venue
Cole Hamels is 'special'...whatever that means
Sporting News apparently dug up the dirt on Victorino's pregame rituals. Twenty minutes before every game he showers then walks through the clubhouse with his towell, loofa sponge and bottle of exotic Hawaiian gel soaps. I don't even have a clever comment to write after reading this. But I want to know how they found this out and why they felt the need to publish it.
It scouts our team and next to some players has a DOWN arrow, while other players have an UP arrow. I assume this is projections on where their play is heading into this season. The players with UP arrows: Hamels, Victorino and Rollins. Players with DOWN arrows: Burrell and Madson. (I won't go into a Burrell rant here)
The Phillies are projected to finish 2nd in the NL East. From what it sounds like, however, these guys aren't too hot on the Mets chances in October due to their weak rotation.
The Phillies are listed as the team in National League that is on the rise. And I quote "The time in Philly is now." The Reds are the team heading for a fall.
The Power Poll rating all of the Majors has the Phillies as the fifth best team in baseball. Twins, Tigers, Yankees and Mets are before them.
Of the 23 questions asked to the editors in the beginning of this issue, one was "How many homeruns will Ryan Howard hit?" The six different responses were: 51, 30, 47, 42, 50, 45. I say 50 (as listed to the right) and I can't possibly sit here and be okay with someone predicting 30. Also, the editor who predicted 45 says that Howard will have more intentional walks than homeruns. (see the poll to the right and weigh in on the topic)

Overall, this was a good issue and I recommend it for anyone who wants decent scouting reports on players on each team. I also don't completely disagree with all of their predictions. I don't think the Twins will be that good this year compared to what they did last season and I personally see the Phils winning the division. They also have a look towards the free agent class of 2007 and some interesting names pop up. Ichiro stood out because we all know of Gillick's love affair with players he had on his previous teams. Hmmm....

GODZILLA!

2007-02-27T18:20:00.001-05:00

I came across this video of our man hitting a bomb in Japan while browsing YouTube.

Two things to watch here:

The funny sounds the fans around the camera make. Apparently there are other languages besides English and this one is known as 'Japanese.' Never heard of it...
The flowers Howard receives after stepping on home plate. Perhaps we should adapt this custom in America. Every time a Phillie hits a homerun, Gavin Floyd can bring them flowers or a perhaps a box of chocolates. Hey, we all know he isn't going to last 2 innings in the American League, we might as well make his life useful.

Youtube video

2007-02-27T14:47:00.000-05:00

The video I posted about Burrell this morning was edited and therefor the link stop working. Click here if you want to see the truth that people wish to ignore. Thanks again to Chris from I’ve Made a Huge Tiny Mistake for the find.

Also, I wanted to save Carson's rant on Burrell-haters from this morning's post. Enjoy:

"That was a great video. We all know Pat Burrell isn't perfect, but he's not the enemy that the fans of Philly are making him out to be either. We need him on this team! He's not "the man", but he is a damn fine baseball player. He can be counted on for 30+ hr and 100+ rbi, and last I checked that's better than a lot of other scrubs out there. I'm sick and tired to having to explain to retards the worth of Pat Burrell. Only an idiot would dismiss a near .900 OPS...that's how you score run fucksticks! Damn, I'm getting pissed typing this...I wish I could beat some sense into some of those lame-brain Burrell haters!"

...I couldn't have said it better myself

Driven to Deep Center Caption Contest: The Curious Mr. Burrell

2007-02-26T18:35:00.000-05:00

What is Pat the Bat doing with this little girl? And what of that magical arrow? Comment now and whoever leaves the best / funniest caption will recieve a MAJOR AWARD! (my respect)

PS. I too, apologize for the lack of fresh material. I was actually doing schoolwork this week for once in my miserable life. Just a note, posts on the terrible secrets held by the New York Mets, the INDISPENSABLE Aaron Rowand, and more DtDC Photo Contests in the days and weeks to come. Especially once the season starts and I master PhotoShop.

Quick Notes

2007-02-25T23:18:00.000-05:00

I have been sick and extremely busy the past few days, so I am sorry that there have been no recent posts. I was hoping a team member would step up and write some things while I was down, but I guess I wish for too much. So here are a few quick notes that are on my mind. Better posts this week, I promise.

Utley the Hippie? No, just trying to stop Global Warming. Whatever, just hit over .300, knock in over 100, and give me a World Series and you can stop world hunger and save the dolphins for all I care. What a good dude he is, though.

I just got "Long Drive: The 2006 Phillies Video Yearbook" delivered to my place. I recommend. If you aren't already pumped for the season (you are probably dead then) this video well get you jacked up like your drinking red balls. "Cocaine in a can baby!!"

This is from a few days ago, but when I read the title: "Burrell Recalls College Days," I thought I was about to read some stories filled with 5 lady orgies, kegs of Jack Daniels and good old fashioned panty raids. What a disappointment...

I have been trying to think of some good, original and new nicknames for our boys in red. I will list them as I come up with them. For now I have... King Ut for Chase, The General for Rollins (see previous post for reasoning) and Mr. Sucky Poo Poo Pants for Floyd (this has been mentioned numerous times on this site). And for good measure, here he is:

I am ready for war...

2007-02-20T23:29:00.000-05:00

Here it is, my battle cry. Rollins is doing his part to fire up the troops and I love every single minute of it. And instead of Phillies fans complaining about it and thinking he should shut up and just play the game, let us all embrace it. So join Jimmy and lace up your combat boots, load that AK-47 and prepare for battle.

Dear Jimmy,
As our general, we salute you. Lead us through this season and carry us towards victory over our enemy of the East. Show us the way to dismantle the bomb known as the Mets and provide us with the fire power to surge in October.

Sincerely,
Sgt. Skeeter

Take note of these dates:
April 16 & 17
June 29 & 30 and July 1
August 27, 28, 29 & 30

....All Phillies phans report to Citizens Bank Park as our boys take on the Mets. Be sure to wear your army fatigues (Phillies Red) and bring your battle cries (boos). I want a rivalry like none other. I want Met/Phillies game to be nationally televised. I want "Mets Suck" chants. I want bench clearing brawls. I want a WAR!!!!

Usually fans should watch their mouth in terms of cockiness and predictions, however, in this case I am going all out. THE METS WILL NOT WIN THIS YEAR! THE BRAVES WILL NOT WIN THIS YEAR! I am not worried about eating these words. I am not scared of a Mets fan who tries to invade our park/our home/our life. I am not concerned about our boys ability to get it done. I am gearing up for World War III.

So play your Rocky music, wear your Howard shirt, never take off your Phillies hat. Don't ever utter "I think we have a good shot this year" or "We'll see how the season plays out." Show this city and this country that the Phillies are indeed the team to beat. Let Jimmy do his thing. All we have to do is follow our general.

If this doesn't fire you up or make you crave an ultimate rivalry, maybe these will. Listed in the comment section two days ago:

Mr.M said...

Phillies SUCK!!... Let's Go Mets!!

2:34 PM

And then just yesterday...

Mr.M said...

this just in from Clearwater

12:42 AM

Click those links.

Now join me...

69 in the Loss Column, Get Ready for a Sexy Season

2007-02-19T18:35:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to do this post for a very long time now and couldn't think of the best time to write it. I thought the eve of opening day would be fitting or possibly when the positions on the team are settled. But I have no patience and was antsy to make my prediction on the season so here it is...

I feel extremely optimistic about this season, but unlike some of the years in the past, I have good reason. We don't know who will be filling out our bench and our bullpen still is extremely shotty, however, I am going out on a limb here to predict 93 wins for this team. Even though this team may not seem like a 90+ win team at this exact moment, I have faith that Gillick will address our needs in the upcoming month and a half. Some may call this blind faith.

My initial reasoning for saying 93 was a half-hearted joke because of the 1993 season. I feel this team has an incredible similarity to that team and 93 wins would be a cool way to link the two clubs. I also think the Phillies will overtake the East and that 93 wins is good enough to win the division.

I eventually became more and more convinced, however, that the 2007 Phillies have a very good shot at 93 IF they put some key pieces together. So for the remainder of this post, let's pretend that Gillick WILL fix the minor holes this club has. This is how the wins will break down this season for the Phillies. How do I know? Uhmm, I called Miss Cleo.

As listed to the right:
16 wins for Garcia
14 for Hamels
15 for Myers
12 for Moyer
10 for Eaton
Total: 67

*Note, this is all contingent on all starters remaining healthy for the entire season

Last season, if I counted correctly, our bullpen amassed 24 wins. The bullpen for the upcoming season, however, can't possibly be as poor as it was in 2006. Once again I am saying this based on sheer optimism and faith in Gillick that he will improve it before the season begins. And even though wins don't entirely tell the story on a bullpen's overall performance, let us assume that this season we will add a couple of W's to that number. The total we have now is 93.

So what did we learn? Did I break down key stats, match-ups and projections to add up the wins for the Phillies? Not even a little. I merely just sat at my computer and wrote what I felt from the standpoint of what I truly am: a die-hard Phillies fan. Which after all, at the end of the day is all I can call myself. I have no real statistical evidence behind my 93-69 prediction. I'm not a stathead and rarely run off numbers to prove a point or make predictions. Does this make me unintelligent? Very possible.

But what I do positively know is the last time the Phillies made the playoffs. In 1993, this town was painted red. Still, to this day, every time you hear the number 93 you immediately think of that team, that year, that fat ass at first, that mound of tobacco in center, that ladies man behind the plate, the song 'wild thing', and of course that bitch Joe Carter. The 2007 club has not even set foot on a field together and already the city is in love with them. Fourteen years later, we are on the verge of experiencing a, what seems to be, amazing team with an amazing cast. All I want to get across is the next time the Phillies will make the playoffs is in 2007. So why can't that magical number, 93, be the link between greatness?

The Law of Attraction states that positive thoughts determine your reality. "You get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny." I'm not sold on this metaphysical idea of life, however, for this season I am willing to give it a serious shot. Join me in the pursuit of...

93

The X Factor

2007-02-19T00:23:00.000-05:00

It is still over a month away from opening day. Spring training games haven't even started yet. Actually, position players aren't even required to be in Clearwater until tomorrow...but I got that itch and I know you do too. So this may be a premature topic but who is the Phillies X-Factor this season? I have come up with a few opinions on who could be a key determinant to playoff possibilities in 2007. We will call these guys the X-Men...

Antonio Alfonseca, This is a no brainer to me. If this six-fingered freak of nature can return to 2004 form, I believe a good amount of our bullpen woes are covered. An outstanding year from him means reliable set-up work, which is something we haven't seen in quite sometime.
Health, mainly of Tom Gordon and Adam Eaton. If their health remains in check, I believe their performance will as well. Also, with these two remaining on the team in their assigned positions, it keeps the rest of the team in order. If Eaton were to get hurt, we would need call up someone from the minors who isn't quite ready or bring in (gasp) Madson from the bullpen. If Gordon breaks down, the bullpen breaks down.
Jayson Werth, It is odd to call a 4th outfielder an X-factor, however, many actions may happen that call upon him to perform at a higher level. Rowand may be traded. Burrell, although it is a VERY long shot, may get traded thus killing my spirits. And it is possible that Victorino may not be able to perform over a full season. Anyone of these may have Werth playing in a more prominent role.
Fundamentals, This isn't a player but the fundamental play of the Phillies was downright embarrassing at times last season. And not only did it make me hang my head in shame, it easily cost us a few games. I have read that the coaching staff is stressing this in Spring Training, which is a very encouraging thing to hear.
Manuel's managerial abilities, Do I have to explain this one?

There are more, I'm sure, but this is what I could think of for now. As the season approaches, I will post more X-Factors that will be key to NL East DOMINATION!

The "Nation of Domination" AKA 2007 Phillies

The Case for Jon Lieber

2007-02-17T21:17:00.000-05:00

The general consensus in Philadelphia was that the arrival of Adam Eaton was Jon Lieber's curtain call. First the rumors swirled that he was heading to Milwaukee, then to Texas, then to Boston, then maybe to the Rockford Peaches. But he just hauled up to Phillies Spring Training in an armor-plated Ford F1-Bauer. Pat Gillick has yet to move Lieber for either Derrick Turnbow, Akinori Otsuka, Mike Lowell, Kevin Mench, or Hank Blaylock. I'd like to have any of those guys on the Phils, but I'm here to argue that Ol' Round Belly should stay on the mound in South Philly for one more year.

I don't want to be the one to say it, but as good as the Phils rotation is, there are still a couple of guys that have a slight history of breaking down. And it would stand to reason that carrying Starter Insurance wouldn't be such a bad idea. The Bullpen currently looks like this:

Tom Gordon (closer)
Ryan Madson
Geoff Geary
Antonio Alfonseca
Fabio Castro
Eude Brito (pictured)
Clay Condrey
Brian Sanches
Matt Smith

A lot better than last year, granted, but not ONE of those guys can step in and start. Madson did that last year and we missed the Wild Card by 3 games thanks, in no small part, to his 9 losses and 5.69 ERA. I blame Sucky Poo Poo Pants Floyd for that more than anyone, but, thankfully, that skidmark won't be playing for us in 2007. Madson will, and I like him in the 7th inning, but under NO circumstances should he start. The argument for giving Lieber his walking papers is that we need to really bolster this bullpen, but do we need a Linebrink or a Otsuka if we shore up the middle relievers and Manuel does a better job managing the starters so guys like Madson are fresh. The early reports from Clearwater are that Antonio Alfonseca is in the best shape he's been in for a while and his velocity is back up around 96. This is by no means a barometer of what he's going to do all year, but if he stays consistent, there's your 8th inning guy. Fabio Castro eats innings, Eude Brito was a pleasant surprise last year, Matt Smith showed a lot of promise with a .87 ERA in 20.2 innings pitched, and you always know what you're getting out of Geoff Geary. I'm much more confident in the Bullpen going into 2007 than I was in 2006. I do, however, understand the argument that we also need Gordon Insurance should he go down, hence Linebrink or Otsuka. Alfonseca, however, closed on every team he's been on in the past when he was 100% and it sounds like he is again. In a pinch, I'll trust Madson in the 8th inning. The problem is that this is all contingent on Manuel having half a Goddamn clue what he's doing with said bullpen, so therein lies the risk.

Now what would we do with six starters if Jon Lieber remains a Phillie? The easy answer is put Eaton in the bullpen and have Lieber as your 4th or 5th starter. Problem is that the scouting report on Eaton is he heats up and gets stronger after a couple of innings of work, a classic earmark of a starter. Plus, I just don't think he's that good of a starter, so why just take his worst innings for $9mil a year? I hope he has an amazing year, I hope I eat my words, but I just get nervous knowing Adam Eaton will be out there every fifth day. The more difficult choice, because it's rarely been done before, is to trot out a six-man rotation for the first few months of the season. It would be great for guys like Jamie Moyer who'd be pitching in September with plenty of rest, but might alienate younger guys like Free-Agent-To-Be Freddy Garcia, who probably wants his win totals up. (I still think he's re-signing with us, though.) This move might give the Bullpen more rest, however, and let Gillick take his time deciding who he'd like to bring in to suppliment Gordon instead of having to make a quick move if the 'Pen underperforms.

I think keeping Lieber and then supplimenting the Bullpen another way is the best thing for Gillick to do. Lieber truely wants to pitch here and I believe he is better than Adam Eaton. That said, if it comes down to Rowand vs. Lieber, the Ol' Donut Hole's gotta go. It's common knowledge that Rowand will hit 91 Home-Runs this year, but besides that, we're not as deep at Outfield as I would like to be. I have no faith in Roberson or Bourn. Jayson Werth is a nice fourth outfielder but, true to Phillies form, can't stay healthy. Yes, Victorino is a better defensive outfielder, but he'll still be starting in Right anyway and we just flat-out have no one to replace "Crash" Rowand if he goes.

If the Lieber trade is good, I'm sure Gillick will do the right thing, but at the end of the day, everyone knows it's just not right to separate a fat man from his cheesesteaks.

Other Phillies Notes:

Burrell getting married is a VERY GOOD thing. Dallas Green was right, and even though Burrell won't admit it, his nightlife was always a problem. I'm sure the new Missus will curb that particular hobby.

As mentioned above, finding a fourth outfielder might just be a more important priority to Pat Gillick than Bullpen help.

"I hope you don't see a change in me. I'll manage the same way."-Charlie Manuel, Philadelphia Daily News. Oh, thank GOD! For a minute there I thought I was going into the season confident in this team.

More from Manuel in the PDN: "I know I'm not easy. I can be very red-assed and mean as anybody." Really? REALLY?

Chris Coste better make the roster or I'll kill Anna Nico-nevermind.

One Personal Note (sorry Skeet)

Happy Trails, Keith Foulke, the REAL 2004 World Series MVP.

2007 MLB Preview Review - Part 2: Street & Smith's

2007-02-15T22:14:00.000-05:00

After being depressed with what Lindy's projected for the Phillies this season, I was determined to find a magazine that agreed with my opinion on this team. Well, I found it today at a sleazy qwiki-mart named "Voorhees Tobacco and News" in the form of Street and Smith's Baseball. Let me give you the rundown of what they think.

American League
East: Red Sox
Central: Tigers
West: Angels
Wild Card: Yankees
MVP: Guerrero
Cy Young: Santana
Manager of the Year: Scioscia
Rookie of the Year: Matsuzaka

National League
East: PHILLIES
Central: Cardinals
West: Dodgers
Wild Card: Mets
MVP: Pujols
Cy Young: Zambrano
Manager of the Year: MANUEL...???
Rookie of the Year: Tulowitzki

First thing, awesome prediction on their part of the NL East. The Phillies finally get some recognition. Second thing, manager of the year should not equal Charlie Manuel. The only thing Manuel and the word manager should have in common is the first 3 letters of their names. See: MANuel and MANager. I'm so clever

Other notes on this issue that should interest Phans...

The prelude to the NL East basically talks all about how the Phillies have improved and the other teams haven't. They praise Pat Gillick
The prelude also has a full page pic of my boy...Pat the Bat
Division's Best Sense of Humor: Charlie Manuel. I guess they meant to laugh at and not laugh with
Division's Best Intellect: Jamie Moyer. Brought here to mentor the young boys into full-blown badasses
Phillies defense was rated a 2 out of 5. A bit low, in my opinion
A rival scout sized up Howard and says he doesn't get enough credit for his defense. He also said it seems nearly impossible to get him out. His suggestion was to throw him high heat, but he wouldn't be surprised if he hits them out too. Basically, Howard is a god.
The Phillies were the only team in the NL East with a 'stock report' going up. All of the other teams were rated as steady.
Interesting stat: Garcia is 19-6 with a 2.34 ERA in his career against the NL. Over the past two seasons he is 7-0.
.....I smell a pennant

Overall, I suggest you pick this edition up. Street and Smith's has good fantasy rankings and a superb overview of every team. It is usually my February magazine of choice. I often say I don't like projections or predictions, but these I can definitely live with.

Also, if you can think of a good one, be sure to write a caption for the Manuel picture in the post below

Driven to Deep Center Contest: Find a Caption for This Photo

2007-02-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

What is making Uncle Charlie so mad? Leave your comments and give our fearless leader a voice!

Peter Forsberg: You'll Be Missed

2007-02-15T20:23:00.000-05:00

Philadelphia Flyer from 2005-2007

I'm not here to debate whether it was a good trade or not, I'm just gonna miss watching this guy play for my team every night. Short-lived as it was, thanks for all the fun, Petey.

Technically Speaking, It's Still Only Winter Training

2007-02-14T23:41:00.000-05:00

It is a BEAUTIFUL time of the year. Well, not here in Philly since I almost crashed my car on 76 yesterday due to the horribleness of snow, but in Clearwater it is lovely. And I'm not talking just about the palm trees, white sandy beaches or blue ocean. I am talking about the Kings Of Philly showing up at camp to let the Phillies brass know that they are good little boys. To prevent me from rambling on about how excited I am, I will just list some things that are on my mind as Spring Training officially begins.

Pat Burrell is engaged, which brought a slight tear to my eye. How can this site stay up and running if we can't still talk about his massive pimping ability? I guess it's nice that he is settling down or whatever, but come on Pat...you could have become the first male ever to sleep with EVERY woman EVER!!!
It is wonderful to see players report early. Especially our franchise boys, Utley and Howard. Nothing clever to say here, it is just a nice situation.
Pat Burrell was interviewed and asked all the dumb questions we knew were coming. And he said ALL the right things. He is putting last year behind him (even though it wasn't nearly as bad as this world thinks) and is looking forward to help the team in 2007. He didn't bitch, complain or make excuses. Also, every article ever written about Burrell that shows up on MLB.com has the numbers .222 somewhere in there. Ken Mandel HAS to remind everyone of RISP. I'd like to see "Pat Burrell had a down year in homeruns and RBIs last season although he did remain constant with his OBP and only hit 3 less homeruns in 100 less ABs."
I will be rooting for Coste AGAIN this spring. If you told me on September 24, after the Phillies beat the Marlins thanks largely to Coste's clutch 3-run homer, that Chris would be fighting for a spot this spring, I'd call you a Nazi and slap your mother. Well...thankfully you didn't tell me that cause I would look like a fool for degrading your momma for no reason.
Non-Phillies related. But Carlos Zambrano, while he is an absolutely amazing talent, has turned into a cocky ass. Here, he talks about how is walking from the Cubs if an extension isn't given before the season starts. He refers to himself as the "Big-Z." What a prick. Maybe I am just being unrealistic in this day and age, but its depressing to see a player that cares only about money and not being on a team that wants him or has a chance to win.

All in all, this picture will give all phans a reason to smile

And another homerun question for you all to ponder...
Who will hit more homeruns, Burrell or Utley?

Hi, I'll be Your Author This Evening

2007-02-13T20:07:00.001-05:00

Hello out there to Phillies Nation! My name is Mike Muller and I'm joining the team here at Driven to Deep Center. Skeeter (or Mikey, as I've known him for eight years) is my roommate and frequent (hetero) companion at Citizens Bank Park. I've been a Phillies fan all my life, especially in the storybook 1993 season when I was eight years old. Since you'll be hearing me blather on about every bit of Phillies minutiae over the 2007 season, I figured I'd tell you a little bit about myself, as well as the shit I'm obsessed with and will probably reference a lot.

South Park and 24, Eric Cartman and Jack Bauer are models any young man should live by.
Hockey: my Marilyn Monroe to Baseball's Jackie Kennedy. Although with the way the Flyers are playing this year, I guess this season is when Marilyn is found drugged up, naked, and dead.

Back to the Future, one of the most culturally significant films of the 20th Century.

Boston. My family is from there so I have a certain affinity for the Red Sox and Pats.

My favorite Phillies of all time are Curt Schilling and Tug McGraw.

I'm not a stathead, I'm an old-fashioned Baseball guy. I care a lot about the way a player carries himself and the attitude he has toward the game. I hate guys who play for the paycheck.

There isn't an obscenity in the English language to express my distate for Scott Boras...but I'll try. I fucking hate Scott Boras.

Aaron Rowand WILL hit 91 Home-Runs this year.

That's about it, really. I love Baseball and I'm excited to be writing about a team that I think is gonna be fun to watch this year. I'm no different than any other Baseball fan you know, I like boobs, beer, Dollar Dog Night, and Ryan Howard. So here's hoping you get a few laughs from my feeble posts and maybe a new perspective on the Fightin' Phils.

New Kid on the Block

2007-02-12T23:17:00.000-05:00

Driven to Deep Center has just added a new contributor to the site: Muller. My roommate and long-time Phillies fan (his dad was boys with Tug McGraw) has been watching me blog about the Fightins for over 4 months now and has decided he wanted to contribute to the cause. He will add a new perspective to the site and will undoubtedly bring a new wave of humor. What I can tell you about him:

- He hates the Yankees with an indescribable passion
- Aaron Rowand is his god, mainly because he hit 91 homeruns for him in MVP Baseball
- He wishes he was Jack Bauer
- He would go gay for Shane Victorino

Okay, now a random Phillies question for you to think amongst yourself
Who will hit more homeruns, Jimmy Rollins or Wes Helms?

2007 MLB Preview Review - Part 1: Lindy's

2007-02-11T23:04:00.000-05:00

It is February and aside from the massive blizzard we MAY get this week, all we have to look forward to is Spring Training. And with the baseball lifestyle just about to get under way, the preview magazines are coming into publication. I briefly went browsing around a supermarket today and picked up the only one Genuardi's had: Lindy's. And like a lot of things I read, I disagreed with their predictions. Here is my rant on Lindy's Baseball preview. (keep in mind that I am a die-hard Phillies fan and may be viewed as a biased individual)

Lindy's Fearless Forecasts for 2007

Manager of the Year
AL - Torre
NL - Piniella

MVPs
AL - Ortiz
NL - Reyes (Grrrrrr)

ROY
AL - Delmon Young, Devil Rays (Big shock)
NL - Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies

Cy Young
AL - Halladay ( I can NEVER bet against Sanatana)
NL - Zambrano

Rookie Pitcher of the Year
AL - Matsuzaka (Another Shocker)
NL - Pelfrey (Another Grrrrrr)

Division Winners
AL East - Yankees
AL Central - Tigers
AL West - Angels

NL East - Mets (AHHHHHH)
NL Central - Cubs
NL West - Dodgers

Wild Cards
AL - Red Sox
NL - Padres (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!)

AL Champion - Yankees
NL Champion - Dodgers

World Series Champion - Yankees (Vomit, Barf, Puke, Disgust...)

Well, our boys in red aren't on this list at all. So where did they finish? 3rd in the division. Behind the Mets and Bravos. Obviously I horribly disagree with this and was slightly angered by it. But this does raise a good point. The Braves are still a very dangerous threat to us in the division. Maybe I am the only one who was completely focused on the Mets and sort of over looked Atlanta. I still don't think this gives our boys enough credit. I wasn't expecting them to print a first place finish but I would have liked at least a second place one.

Interesting notes on the Phillies pages:
- Matt Smith was listed as our top prospect (uhmm....)
- Burrell's 2007 line: .266/26/92 (gross, look to the right for the truth)
- Our infield was rated a 7.0 which is "Well Above Average"
- Rotation was rated a 6.0 which is "Above Average"
- 54 Homeruns for Rhyno
- .307 AVG for Victorino

Other notes from around the Majors
- They have Cleveland finishing 4th in the division. I picture them a lot higher.
- I have to say that the wild card winner from the NL has to come out of the East. If we are slated to be third behind the Mets and Braves, who is going to win more games than us and Atlanta? The Padres? They got pitching but I can't vision them finishing better than the Phils or Braves.
- There is a nice article on Howard and how much of a stud he is.

Overall, these magazines are just ways for me to waste my time, but like Carson has often ranted about, games are won on the field and prediction nuts and statheads are jackasses. I am going to eventually pick all the 2007 editions up and rant about them on here. Then, my prediction post will follow. Guess who will be on top of the NL east?

Fantasies

2007-02-07T21:58:00.000-05:00

With all this fantasy baseball talk in the air and spring training being just around the corner, I am getting very antsy for the season to begin. So in the spirit of fantasy, I thought I should share mine with the world. And don't worry, I won't get too graphic...

- I fantasize of a radio station that isn't dragged down with constant negativity

- I fantasize of a bullpen that won't make me cry during the 7th, 8th, and/or 9th innnings

- I fantasize of a shortstop who is not streaky throughout the season

- I fantasize of a left fielder to play like it is 2002

- I fantasize of over 200 strikeouts from our lefty phenom

- I fantasize of 50+ homeruns

- I fantasize of Chris Wheeler catching a case of eternal laryngitis

- I fantasize of NOT seeing the words 'DL' and 'Hamels' in the same sentence

- I fantasize of not hearing boos when they aren't warranted

- I fantasize of laughing every time I see the Mets pitching staff

- I fantasize of meeting a hot 22 year old girl at a game, who's passions are the Phillies, video games, cartoons and g-strings

- I fantasize of seeing Lieber pitch for an American League team

- I fantasize of 20+ swipes from our little Hawaiian

- I fantasize of Chris Coste contributing to our team in 2007

- I fantasize of seeing Heidi Strobel during Bikini-Fun Day at Citizens Bank Park

- I fantasize of Bikini-Fun Day at Citizens Bank Park

- And most importantly, I fantasize of seeing October baseball in Philadelphia

May all of mine and your fantasies become a reality this season.

Three Carmens. Every man's fantassy

2007 Phillies Crystal Ball: Shane Victorino vs Aaron Rowand

2007-02-07T07:57:00.000-05:00

Today, instead of the boring analysis of a single player, I thought it would be better to square two of our players off in a cage match. Two men battling viciously over a spot they both deserve. It might get intense, sweaty and dirty. Think Wrestlemania V, when Macho Man and Hulk Hogan fought each other to end their bitter feud. So I bring to you the Flyin' Hawaiian vs Crash Rowand...

As it currently stands, during this balls-freezing cold front that is destroying the northeast, the center field job belongs to Aaron Rowand. He has the most experience in that position and was brought here to patrol the center of CBP. He covers a lot of ground and plays very hard (how many time have you heard that?). Victorino is slated to take over in right. He has a tremendous arm, which is ideal for RF. He, like Rowand, also covers a ton of the field and plays balls-out. He is sort of a Hawaiian clone of Rowand with a better cannon. This set-up, while it may leave some to be desired at the plate, covers a ton of ground in the outfield. We will be able to just put Burrell on the foul-line, which allows him to be closer to the stands and all the drunk college girls screaming for him. Everyone is happy

But that is if Opening day was tomorrow, which it obviously isn't. For all we know, Rowand may be patrolling Petco park this summer. So for a second, let us pretend that we have the choice to pick which one would be our center fielder. Who should it be?

2006 numbers

Victorino
462 PA
.287/.346/.414
6 HR 46 RBIs
12.1 VORP

Rowand
445 PA
.262/.321/.425
12 HR 47 RBI
8.8 VORP

Overall, in nearly identical plate appearances, Victorino had the better year. Taken into account is the fact that he is faster, a better thrower, younger and has a WAY cooler batter stance (Aaron seems like he is about to take a painful dump). Not to degrade Rowand and his inspiring play, but Victorino offered more last year. Plus, he is a switch hitter...which is always nice

So how about 2007? Was Victorino's season a fluke or a sign that he can improve to become an everyday player? Was Rowand's year sub par due to his May trip to the DL? Or was his 2004 season the fluke?

2007
Baseball Prospectus is projecting lines that me and you both could come up with. Their numbers on both Victorino and Rowand are strikingly similar with neither one protruding as a standout over the other. So let's use slightly different measures:

Speed - Victorino
Defense - Tie
Arm - Victorino
Power - Rowand
Reliability - Rowand (Shane still hasn't played a whole season)
Average - Tie (I have no reason for either one to be better)
Strikeouts - Victorino (in a good way)
And the most important one (in my opinion): The best hitter for the 2-hole - Victorino

Overall, Victorino is the more valuable player to the Phillies for this season and the future. His main flaw is his inexperience for a whole season's play. Can we count on him? I believe we can. We have to find out eventually if he is our center field answer for the next few years. Rowand, while I love the guy, is expendable ONLY if we can get a decent replacement for RF. The winner of the match for center field is the flyin' Hawaiian.
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Of course, none of this really matters because they won't be heading into Spring Training battling for the center field spot. Rowand is likely gone after this season. This is merely my boredom speaking out saying I want Victorino to be our center fielder and Rowand and Lieber shipped out for a RF and bullpen help.

I JUST FREAKIN LOVE THIS GUY!

Also, from mlb.com:

"Burrell, responding to a challenge, will make foes pay for pitching around Ryan Howard with a 40-homer, 120-RBI season."
...Sweet music to my ears

Who the hell is this?

2007-02-06T22:52:00.000-05:00

Marketing the Phillies

2007-02-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

Well the Super Bowl is over and done with. With the exception of the Pro Bowl, Football is gone into the past and we can focus on the one thing that makes me smile: Baseball, namely the team hailing from Philadelphia. But the Super Bowl commercials got me thinking. Besides the fact that most of them were wretched this year (the two dudes kissing commercial I think gave me aids), I came to realize that the Phillies Marketing staff is blessed with what the 2007 team presents. Since I am a genius marketing major (not at all), let's look at what this group presents to this city in terms of marketability.

Chase Utley
- Everything Philadelphia wants, needs, loves and strives to be. Plays his heart out every single game. Never complains about the media or fans. Isn't a media whore and said the magical words "I want to retire in Philadelphia." This is a wet dream for someone looking to make Philadelphia like this team. I have said many times before in my life, "The day I hear Philadelphia fans boo Chase Utley is the day I truly hang my head as a Philadelphia sports fan." There is truly nothing to dislike about Utley. You could put him on the front of every program and ticket for the next 7+ and no one would complain. Also, chicks love him.

Cole Hamels
- The new kid in town. Our pitching hope for the future. With all the offensive sluts we have, we were all starved for some legitimate pitching in this town. Cole is still young, slightly inexperienced and hasn't had the opportunity to prove his hype. But given what we all know (fingers crossed) is going to come from this 23 year old stud, the Phillies have another gold mine on their hands. Confident, LEFTY, married to a hottie... Hamels is another jackpot. Also, chicks love him.

Jimmy Rollins
- Remember Scooby Doo? Of course you do. It was a classic. Now, remember scrappy doo, Scooby's annoying little nephew who never shut up and thought he was the toughest dog on the block, even though he was only 2-feet tall. Well, with the exception of being annoying, this fits J-Roll to a T. He is a short little ballplayer, who is always quoted in the paper and thinks he is the baddest brother out there. "I can definitely break DiMaggio's streak." "We are the team to beat." And I love every minute of it. We need someone with confidence and a slightly cocky attitude to bring life to this team. Jimmy does all the marketing for himself. The job from the Phillies standpoint is to just put a microphone in front of him after games. Also, chicks love him... he is such a smooth dresser

Ryan Howard
- Do I really have to waste my time with a paragraph for this one? His numbers and performance do everything the Phillies need. Howard just signed with the Creative Artists Agency and that will pretty much take care of the marketing aspect altogether. Read here for their client list and then think about the amount of exposure this kid is going to get. He will be everywhere in about a year. The Phillies don't even have to lift a finger. Also, once again...chicks love him.

And the parts of our team who aren't so prone to being good marketing tools:

Charlie Manuel
- No one likes a dumb hillbilly who has the speaking skills of a 2nd grader. He could never do a commercial because he would stumble over his words on every take. Trust me, chicks don't love him

Antonio Alfonseca
- Cross gloves and those fitted 'toe socks' off the list of potential advertisers looking at Antonio

Abraham Nunez
- No bat, broken english, and his name is Abe...what marketing good could come from him?

And finally, the one man I think presents the best marketing chances for the Phillies organization ...the player who we so often praise here at Driven To Deep Center: Patrick Brian Burrell

How can you not promote that? Also, I should note that this is second time I posted this picture on this site. I am so ashamed of myself.