I was pleasantly surprised yesterday afternoon when a friend of mine called me up with the seven best words I could here: "Want to go to the Phillies game?" Of course I said yes. He then added the word "free" in the conversation. I was a one happy man.It was a great night to be at the ballpark. 70 degree temperature, an offensive onslaught, dollar dogs, magnet giveaways, Jackie Robinson tributes and a near cycle. I can now say that I was there for the first 3-game win streak of 2007. But I'm not here to talk about a great victory, I want to tell you all about the fan who sat to the right of me and the retarded shit that spewed from his mouth. And I should preface this by stating I didn't argue or fight with him. He made some ridiculous statements, and while I wanted to counter-argue his words, I kept quiet.....in other words: I was sober.
Dumb Statement #1
After Aaron Rowand comes up for his second AB: "BOOO. This guy is the worst centerfielder in baseball. He made one good catch but he sucks."
Immediately following this, Rowand doubled. While I do think Rowand is drastically overrated here in Philadelphia due to that catch, he is still an above average centerfielder. To call him the worst one in baseball is insane. And do I even have to mention that he is hitting .364
Dumb Statement #2
After Shane Victorino comes up for this second AB: "This guy sucks. He is only good at fielding, that's it."
Victorino then singled. Oh, and he is hitting .319.
Dumb Statement #3
After Howard strikes out: Claps his hands mockingly then says "Way to go Howard. Way to earn that money. Way to earn that $900,000."
This just confused me. Is he mad that we are paying the reigning NL MVP only $900,000?
Dumb Statement #4
After Burrell struck out (the only time he was retired): "BOOO. 19 million dollars right there. You're worth it all Burrell."
I had to say something here and told him it was 13 million. He didn't really say anything more about this.
Dumb Statement #5
After I see that Matt Smith is warming up in the bullpen, I say "NO! I hate Matt Smith." He replies "Dude, Smith isn't bad at all. He's still young."
So at this point, I realize that he hates Rowand and Victorino and thinks Howard and Burrell are overpaid. But the 27 year old Matt Smith is a good pitcher and is young. Granted, he's not that old, but turning 28 in two months doesn't make him a budding prospect.
I started to see that this kid is a negative, know-it-all prick who truly doesn't know it all. I took the high road and didn't talk shit. There was one point, however, where we saw eye to eye:
When Burrell was lifted in the 6th inning for Michael Bourn, I said out loud "What? SHIT! Manuel is freakin' idiot. It's the 6th inning!" He replied "Yea, Manuel sucks."
We were in agreement on one thing: Charlie Manuel is horrible
13 comments:
Speaking of obnoxious drunks at Phillies games... during the second season of Citizen's Bank Park, I went to a game with my mother (who is a huge baseball fan) and some other friends and family. We had a group of volunteer firefighters sitting behind us. Thank God for firefighters and police officers, but that's when their working... when they're drunk at a game and sitting behind me acting like these assholes they're not service heroes, they're just assholes security needs to crack in the head.
Anyway, a few rows in front of us was an outing of people from a mentally challenged group home (actual retarded people, who still could manage a double switch better than Manuel). The drunk volunteer firefighters (from the "New Oxford Fire Department" if my memory serves me correctly and their t-shirts were accurate) spent a good deal of time loudly mocking and deriding these people. They weren't heckling the game or the players, they were pulling the grade school bully routine on the special kids.
Further, they started treating everyone else around them like total shit the drunker they got. One of our party was treated to one of the pricks pouring a beer on the back of his jacket.
The point here is that Citizen's Bank security wouldn't do a damn thing about it, and only after berating a customer service rep were we at least given other seats to sit in for the remainder of the game... still, nothing was done about the assholes. In the end, we tried communicating with the Phillies about the issue via phone and email. I was told "we're sorry" in an email from an intern, and that was the best reaction we got.
I love that team, but I hate the fucking management group for scads of reasons that go beyond the fact that they cannot stock a bullpen or hire a manger that could win a game of tic-tac-toe against a chicken.
That story just goes to show how much a game can get ruined by jackasses. If I go to a game with my friends and people are screaming "FUCK, SHIT, BITCH, ASSHOLE, DICK, or PUSSY" I wouldn't care too much. However, if I went with my little nephew, I'd be furious. And the fact that they were making fun of mentally challenged people is horrible. The only mentally challenged person who can be made fun of is Manuel.
That said, I have been quite intoxicated a few times at games and may have mildly annoyed some people. But I never get rowdy and try my best not to yell obscenities near older people or kids. Plus, I find myself to be a funnier and more personable person when I'm drinking. So I don't think thats a problem.
I have a theory that security is told to be easy with drunks and rowdy fans and not kick them out immediately. My reasoning: drunk fans buy beer and food which puts money in Montgomery's pockets. It's all about money.
And about the dumbass sitting next to me a last night's game. There should be a special security for morons. You should be given a baseball IQ test as you enter CBP.
Jacobin, are you suggesting that the Phillies management does not care about the fans and is only concerned about make a buck? How dare you insult Monty and his mysterious junta! These are the people who have provided a sub .500 team over the past quarter century. They also made the playoffs once during the first Reagan adminstration, and once during the first Clinton administration. You can't argue with those sweet results!
While I have never had a problem at CBP personally, I have heard horror stories about jackasses doing whatever they want.
Thanks Monty!
Sorry, didn't mean to get too serious there. I've actually been down to CBP around 20 times and only once had a problem, and I know that there will be problems anywhere at anytime. I certainly don't blame David Montgomery Burns and the junta for that. The part that pissed me off was that no one could offer up a sincere apology and it took a lot of bitching before they'd even say, "Hey, why don't you sit in these empty seats that are better than the ones you were in."
And some drunks are pretty funny. I specifically remember this guy at the Linc who was sitting first row of the upper deck. His son had to keep grabbing him by the belt to keep him from tipping forward over the rail. In between his bouts of blank staring and almost falling to his death, the guy was hilarious with the songs and chants.
Funny story about drunk people at baseball games. While attending my first and only game at Yankee Stadium this dude got literally piss drunk two rows in front of where I was sitting. After an hour moaning he pissed himself and two cops had to carry him away.
I got my own drunk story. To preface it, I should note that I am big Burrell supporter.
The second game of this season, college night/dollar dog night, I had myself one to many Lions Head brews. Sitting in the 400 level seats, I was surrounded by other drunkards, who after Burrell popped up, started to BOO. It was the second game of the year and I already had enough. Upon the booing, I stood up and started a chant that went "SHUT THE FUCK UP" followed by a clap clap clap-clap-clap. About 3 "shut the fuck ups" into the chant, I realized that no one would join in because I was basically telling everyone off. I got booed....pretty badly. Then sat down and felt like a moron. My friends were embarrassed.
Burrell got a hit later in the game I then again cursed everyone off, but not as badly because the beer was wearing off by that point.
I got no problem with booing, but I hate it when it is unwarranted.
and icarus, I really wish I was there to see that dude piss himself. It's moments like those that I am proud to be an American.
I agree. The Yankees fan pissing himself is classic.
Skeeter- I knew you went to the game last night and thought you may have been the asshole who threw a hotdog at Luke Scott, but I know you're a better man than that...barely.
haha funny stories about CBP...i've never been to a game there before the only park i've been to is st louis, and the fans there are always pretty nice it seems like...i'm feeling a fourth straight win tonite...and is anyone else starting to think that MVP is spelled R-O-L-L-I-N-S?
OOH OOH I AM I AM!!!
Always trashing the Firefighters.
I love guys like that... don't hold your tongue... let him have it... show him how stupid he is...
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