Deal or no Deal

I have been lied to and made a fool of. I was told for my entire life, through various media outlets, that college is all about 3 things: Beer, Girls and Parties. For my first 3 years of college (with the exception of the 6 months I spent partying with bloodstripes in Australia), I realize this was just a fabrication, but I held out hope that maybe it was senior year when all the boobies come out to play. Well...I was wrong to assume this and stupid to believe that movies like Van Wilder and Animal House were displaying reality. So to your comment Corey and Carson (whichever joker called me a college pussy today), yes...finals have ruined the past week of my life and have thus restricted me from talking about the one thing I love in this world: baseball. So before I talk about the Phillies, I would like to blame the movies for tricking me my entire life. Because while I have met girls as dumb as tara reid, not many were as hot.


Well, besides Padilla getting overpaid and Pujols backing off his words about our boy, the focus is on Gillick and his trading potential. Today, the talk was on Turnbow, Mench and Garcia. First thing, I was shocked to see that Mench isn't even 30 years old. Maybe it is just because he is fat and looks like Shrek that I assumed he was 60. Also, the fact that he finished the year with only 13 dingers is ridiculous considering he almost broke the consecutive homerun streak in April. He didn't even hit any homers after July 30. But I doubt we will land him anyways so there is no reason to talk about his stats unless he is wearing Phillies red. But there is someone who needs mentioning...Patrick Brian Burrell. You know him, right? The worst outfielder that ever played in Philadelphia. The most overpaid athelete in sports history. The player who has never hit a homerun after the 7th inning and doesn't leave the park unless the Phillies are winning by 6 runs. The player who cost the Phillies the playoffs in 2006. The player who had the worst '06 season out of every athlete in the MLB.

Oh...what's that you say? You mean this all isn't true? Is this all just bullshit talk made by grumpy radio hosts (Eskin..king of douche) who have no idea what they are talking about and pissed off sports writers (Conlin) who are depressed because Burrell doesn't want to do an interview with them? Interesting...

And now another criticizer (not sure if that is a word) who wants to jump in on this debate is Mr Green. And while I have always considered myself a huge Pat Burrell defender (send your hate mail to bornmannm1@lasalle.edu or just leave a comment below), I have no problem with Dallas' statements. Except one... he suggested Burrell stop pulling in hot, college ass to improve his baseball game. This is just absurd. Burrell not getting laid is like Wonder Woman without her magic lasso. They just go together. Green, however, was right on target when saying that it all rests on Burrell. "Guys like him are tough to come by. This kid, if he gets his priorities and focus straight, can recoup. It's his decision. He has to look in the mirror and recognize where his career is headed. It's either headed north or south. This is a crossroad for him." I believe, and I am being very optimistic here, that Burrell is very capable of being the 2005 hitter that carried us for most of that season. How can he get back to that? It's on him...but I know NOT getting laid won't help him.
I am also a little depressed that the only comparison I could come up with for Pat was wonder woman. How gay...

And now to a little Pat on Pat action. Mr Gillick just recently stated that they would be willing to trade Burrell ONLY if they get an equal return. This basically made my entire week of exam hell a little better. I am open to a trade for my favorite left-fielder ONLY if it is not a salary dump as previously speculated. To trade Burrell just to get rid of his contract makes no sense and won't improve our club at all. We aren't in desperate need of the money. If, however, we get a return that will help us in the short-term...I would be willing to say goodbye to my boy. And by help I don't mean class A crap players and a 7th inning relief pitcher. How about Burrell for Joe Mauer and/or Johan Santana? That is possible right?



Also, nice move to bring some soul into the broadcast booth.

Power to the people...



And I am sad to say that I never actually partied with bloodstripes. But I would have if I could.