Bring Them Back

Andy Pettitte is making his return to the Yankees and if I was a fan of those overpaid bums, I would be happy to see someone of his caliber back with the club. Sure, he is grossly overpaid and isn't even close to an ace anymore, but I am sure there is something special about seeing a player like him return to your team. Which brought up the question: What Phillies would I most like to see make a return to red pinstripes. And not just any Phillies to fill any position. Here is my list of top 5 (active, non-active, alive, dead) who could help us in 2007:

1) Michael Jack Schmidt
If not because of his 70's porno mustache, then simply because I want to hear Harry do that signature call. I was 4 years old when he retired, so I basically never heard it nor did I really ever see him play. Also, from what I hear, we had a problem at 3rd base last year. And I personally think adding the best 3rd baseman of all time might help our club. Don't you? And according to some people, our biggest offseason need was a right handed power bat to protect Howard. Problem solved.

2) Tug McGraw
Another member of that 1980's team who I never got to see play. In fact, he retired the year before I was born...that son of a bitch. Tugger is basically in the best Philadelphia sports picture ever (see right) and with his beautiful left arm, won the only championship this team has ever seen. And once again, from what I hear, we need help in the bullpen? Well, the most fun-loving pimp reliever we have ever seen could help fill that role. McGraw is just too cool to NOT mention.

3) Pete Rose
Well...I guess I am basically just picking players from 1980, but I would love to see this ugly bastard back on the Phillies. And I know you might hate him because he (*GASP*) gambled, but isn't having the winningest player in baseball history worth it. His position? Well, he can basically play them all but Id stick in right field for us in 2007. He is basically the 1980 Rowand because he does the only thing some fans care about...play hard. Except with Rose you get an added bonus: insane offensive production. The all-time hit king would fit nicely into our 2-hole and would often give Howard something to knock in. Is he an asshole? Sure... but don't you want to win?

4) Richie Ashburn
Alas, a player who didn't win a world series for us, although he did get us there. Did I ever see Ashburn play? Obviously not. But I do know a few things about this stud. He is a hall of famer, played a sick center field, is a clearcut leadoff hitter, has a .308 lifetime batting avg, and has a nickname of whitey...which would compliment Howard nicely I think. He was awesome in the booth with Kalas and while I don't hate Rollins leading off...I am 100% positive he is a better option than Jimmy.

5) Darren Daulton
Yea...there are better options from the all-time Phillies' greats than Dutch...but we need a catcher. And with the 1993 Daulton back on our team, we would possibly have the biggest female fanbase ever: Burrell, Utley, Daulton, Howard, Rollins...all freakin pimp daddies. Daulton was someone who led the Phillies in 1993 and was a fan favorite (especially by my mother...that hussy). Daulton also brings something else besides baseball talent: enlightenment. He could tell our players all about the spirits and revelations that will occur in 2012. Also, since he knows the world will apparently change then, he will be more motivated to win the World Series before that very fateful date.




Notice anything about these Phils? All brought our team to a World Series. So there it is...your 2007 Philadelphia Phillies
The Lineup:
Ashburn
Rose
Utley
Howard
Schmidt
Daulton
Rollins
Burrell

Your Closer: McGraw

Trade Rowand for extra bullpen help and use Victorino as our 4th outfielder. And yes...I did keep Burrell on our team. Think of the ladies this team would rake in. That means more females at Citizens Bank Park, which gives me more chances to score..or strike out.

The rotation remains in tact. Wow, on second thought I probably (actually definitely) should have said Carlton. Hmm...big, horrible mistake there. Oh well, I am too lazy/busy to change anything I just wrote...stupid finals

Still, our team would kick ass.



The Five I don't want back:
Rolen
Wagner
Floyd
Mesa
Urbina (he kills people!!)